To want to read about nice, kind, thoughtful DPs now?

[notwavingbutdrowning1]

I have just read the 'glass by the dishwasher' thread and am shocked and horrified by the lazy, rude abusive bastards out there. My heart goes out to every woman who has been a victim of one (as indeed I was in my previous relationship). It has made me feel quite down and I thought we needed an antidote - so what has your DP done for you that has made you feel loved and cherished? I'll start: when I came home from hospital after an operation my DP (not the fuckwitted previous one, my lovely current one) brought me my meals in bed. On the first day I wanted just bread, ham and tomato - I was very specific that I didn't want it as a sandwich (operations do weird things to your brain). He brought up a beautifully laid out tray and on the plate was buttered bread covered with ham, all cut out in the shape of a reindeer with a cookie cutter. He had used a cherry tomato as the reindeer nose. It was adorable. He's a keeper.

I wanted the hallway repainted last year so DH said he would do it .
It’s a huge high hall so difficult to do and would be expensive if we got in a painter
I picked the colour and when it was finished I absolutely hated it I mean I really really hated it with a passion .

He did a really good job as well

But he knew I hated it so a few weeks later he did it again without even asking me and too it from the dark navy blue to a brilliant white that I mentioned looked really nice and wish that was what I had chosen. when we visited a friends house .

so not easy to do going from dark to white
he also painted the living room and the kitchen at the same time while I was away

He cooks for me , will make me a coffee always drives if we are going anywhere will clean the house and walk the dog who is his baby and real partner in crime
does all the DIY gardening

Im pretty lazy to be honest 😂

he was fab with my late parents even though they were hard work

But he still very much a big strong bloke and despite doing everything for me he’s not a push over in any way at all and won’t take any of my crap when I get stroppy about something stupid .

he’s always been there for me from when we first met and he’s my absolute rock

My DH of 25 years is an all round good husband and father.
He does lots of little things that make life sweet. He often cooks the tea, but on a Friday we have it in front of the TV and when it's nearly ready he tells me to go and take my position with my feet up and he brings it in.
If there's two of something (like chicken kievs or steaks) he always gives me the best one without telling me, as I do him.
There are lots of grand gestures and life affirming nice things I could say, but it's the sweet little day to day things that keep me feeling like I won the husband lottery.

Pregnant at the moment and have one dress I love to wear when I don’t want to look too pregnant, it’s massive with ruffles and layer and he ironed it for me as I wanted to do it. It took about 15 mins to get the creases out. He irons everything as he prefers it way more than me.

We take it in turns to cook but he also loves that more and if I say I’m craving a dish during the week, by the weekend he has bought the ingredients and will make it.

Generally he is a good guy. We banter lots. If he does do something that has annoyed me, he feels bad and buys me a small sweet treat that I love. I do the same back.

It’s nice being drama free and just doing life with someone .

I first realised he was one of the good ones when I got pregnant soon after meeting and was advised to terminate for medical reasons at 12wks. I had a bad reaction to the pethidine and he made ice packs out of disposable gloves to cool me down and ran back and forth disposing of multiple bowls of vomit.

6 years (and 2 kids) later and he works his arse off to provide for us. As well as his main job he has a self employment and 3 other p/t jobs.
He's completely renovating our house - today he was rewiring the ground floor before going on a night shift.

He does a large proportion of the childcare and nursery pick ups/drop offs. He comes in from a 12hr shift and puts the kids to bed and cooks tea, he does his fair share of housework and does all the running around for appointments for the kids and the cat. He's an excellent dad and does a large proportion of the childcare, including the night wakes and he sleeps in their rooms if they're ill. He does all the kids' baths as I have a bad back so can't do the lifting.

We've never had a cross word, let alone an argument. He's just so easy to get on with and I've never heard him complain about anything. He must be absolutely shattered but he'd never ask me to do more as he knows my job is stressful and I'm suffering a bit with my mental health recently.

He seems oblivious that he does so much more than me and thinks I'm the most amazing person in the world. He's incredibly supportive and our relationship is a million miles away from how my ex husband reduced me to a shell of myself and shattered any confidence I once had.

He's shit at buying presents though and he's quite untidy so there's frequently something for me to grumble about. I do forget just how hard he works and how busy he always is so I should probably tell him more how much I appreciate him.

I volunteer for a charity. Four times a year we have a weekend for training etc
He never moans that this leaves him with three kids, I come home to a tidier house than I leave, and he comes sooner because I'm always exhausted because I stay up until 2-3 am drinking and talking. Kids have been out to the park, I've had photos of them all weekend. He knows what this job means to me

This

Mine came crashing into my life, wasn’t phased or intimidated by my hyper independence and devotion to my career / life consuming hobby. I’ve had to do everything myself, and in addition support men who’ve been mollycoddled their whole lives, its made me not the easiest to get to know.

He has given me an all round safe space to exist, and learn to let down the barriers. And every time I have, he’s did what he promised and has been nothing but dependable / supportive.

Helped me gut my car at the weekend after it’s been used as a running horse shed for two years because he knew it was just overwhelming me.

Told me he’d be coming to a hospital
appointment with me when I got the date as the whole issue has really affected my daily life.

Finds solutions to many problems and truly shares the mental load there which has been a game changer for me after years of always having to have the answer and being depended on.

Helps me deal with my imposter syndrome / work related anxiety daily despite never having had an ounce of experience in the corporate world.

Tells me he fancies me even when I’ve slept on wet hair and am challenging my inner well dwelling Samara from The Ring.

And in return I find myself bending over backwards to make sure I try to make his life as easy as possible - but with no sense of obligation or ‘well if I don’t do it it won’t get done’ - just a genuine desire to show him how much I appreciate what he does for me.

It took an age to find him… but he was out there and I have never felt so balanced or settled.

Mine took our 5 year old to school straight off the back of a night shift in the ambulance. His idea and he never complains about his exhaustion, just wants to get on with it and soak up as much time with the kids as he can.

He brings me a cup of coffee in bed every morning.

I recall an acquaintance of my mother whose husband did this too. Unfortunately he continued to do it after she retired and wanted to sleep in, he left home at 6am! Still, it's the thought that counts I suppose.

The cup of tea my DH brings in before he goes to work often goes cold while I snooze. I never tell him. I love waking it up and seeing it there nevertheless, because it shows he was thinking of me.

My father in law does this for my mother in law. Neither are retired but MIL works v part time and is definitely not a morning person. So there’s dear old FIL putting her coffee by the bed at 7am, and MIL not getting up til gone 10am at least 😂 she hasn’t the heart to tell him she pours it away every day!

I've been ill since Friday night. As in totally bedbound ill, shivering, sweating, headache, taking 15 minutes to build up the mental courage to go to the toilet next door sort of ill.

He has looked after me and our 2 year old girl all weekend. Done the housework, been amazing and today is usually my day off (part time) to look after our daughter but i honestly can barely make it downstairs. He managed to persuade his dad to look after her today, something in the past his dad has not really done as he's been too scared. The hourly pictures of his dad and wife having so much fun today as updates has caused his heart (and mine) to leap.

I don't need a thrill seeking bad boy i thought i wanted as a teenager. All i need is my wonderful, caring husband.

Tearing up just writing this.

Oh, she can jump down. She prefers not to, and has successfully convinced my husband that it’s just too much for her delicate little feet and she might get hurt 😂

I'm recovering from an op and can't do much until the end of the week and DH is spoiling me. He also generally does most of the cooking, although I'm actually the better cook

My wonderful husband, got so fed up with NHS messing me around he phoned up private hospital and paid for my op as he couldn't stand seeing me in pain. He also stayed while I had my op as he said he wanted to see me with his own eyes afterwards to make sure I was OK, when I came out of hospital, my house was immaculate and he looked after me until I felt better. This is just one example of my lovely thoughtful hubby.

Mine deals with the dishwasher, the bins and the gardening, cooking is equal. He bakes with our daughter.
When I'm ill he takes over everything, does all the cooking, washing up, the school runs, homework help etc.
He earns more than me and happily pays more towards the mortgage and holidays so that i have money left each month to spend on whatever i want.
He loves spending time with our daughter and will always play with her, take her places on his own (not afraid of looking after her unlike some you read about!)
These comments are so lovely and i hope it gives others hope.
Great thread OP.

My DH doesn't prioritise his career over mine, despite him being the higher earner (and earning 27k more than I do).

His job is far more flexible than mine (with fewer meetings and no fixed hours) so most of the time when our son gets sent home from nursery with illness during the workweek DH deals with the childcare emergency, as it's easier for him to make the time up on the weekends.

I definitely have one of the glass by the dishwasher ones. He wouldn’t even think of doing most of this stuff. I don’t even get a cup of tea. Jealous of you all. Couldn’t imagine starting again though, I don’t think anyone would want a mum of 4.

Too many good things (we have been married nearly 40 years).

I came home from a visit to friends to find that he'd had a 'catio' built on to the back of the house. While that was going up he'd consulted some You Tube videos and created some things to make cats happy in the adjoining sitting room. Runs around the wall, high up beds, that sort of thing. It meant that I could go find the unusual breed of cat that I'd been wanting for ages, and they could be safe and happy indoor cats. A few weeks later we found them at an RSPCA shelter.