AIBU to need help managing Gen Z?

[HebburnPokemon]

Age old story: I’m an older millennial (41) managing Gen Z (24) and finding it hard going. At first, I thought this was a simple personality clash, until a friend suggested it’s probably an inter generational clash due to the problems I was describing:

My employee goes AWOL often. We work hybrid so if she’s not online I can’t track her down. This isn’t normally a huge deal unless I need something urgently.

My employee cries a lot. This is normally in response to someone offering constructive criticism.

My employee complains that she’s doing work above her pay grade (she’s not).

My employee complains that she’s stressed with a particular area of work and cries. So I take over the area with her agreement. But when I’m not around she does work on the area and then complains to me afterwards that “she’s been sucked back in” to the stress.

My employee is erratic in her opinions of me. One week I’m the best manager ever and she send me cute gifs and compliments me to others, the next week she’s complaining to others that she’s doing the work of my grade.

My employee complains that she doesn’t know what I do each day (I’m 2 grades above, does she need to know?)

When I google Gen Z in the workplace it describes my employee 100%.

I’m fairly new to management so understand I need tips/suggestions to make this work. I’m far from perfect myself due to inexperience. This is also her first job.

Disclaimer: I’m Autistic, which adds to my feelings of bamboozlement!

Experienced managers of Mumsnet, please advise!

It’s her first job. Think that’s probably more likely the issue than the gen z aspect.

Crying is awkward. But I suppose the silver lining is she actually cares 🤷‍♀️ Atleast you can harness that if you can figure this out.

Goodluck

We have a nurse in her forties behave like this where I work. It’s a personality thing.

I sympathise OP as this exactly describes someone I used to manage.

Final straw was when they disappeared for a whole afternoon during a particularly industry specific crisis. Claimed they were at home working but later transpired she was babysitting her niece.

When she was put on a PIP, she submitted a grievance against our team claiming she was bullied.

This is the second twenty something person we've employed that has been an absolute nightmare to manage.

I have no advice but to get HR involved from the get go.

You have a problem with an individual. You can’t tar a whole group in the same way. Our 29 and 21 year olds are extremely determined, efficient, reliable and hard working with consistently excellent and outstanding appraisals.

Exactly. It doesn't matter how old you are or how old she is. She needs to be managed.

I am a gen X managing a millennial managing a gen Z. The millennial is saying exactly the same about the gen Z.

However, I genuinely don’t think it is a gen-whatever problem. I think it is just a difference in expectations between different levels of experience in the workplace. Pretty much every generation says this about the next. I said it about millennials 15 years ago.

I would say, regardless of generation, she sounds like she has a lot of poor behaviours and a lack of capability and you should probably be managing expectations through a performance improvement plan. At least that way it is clear what is expected of her and where she oversteps.

She just sounds immature. The Gen Zs I've managed are much more organised and professional!

It's her personality not her age group.

I think there is a generational difference of course. However, she does not sound typical in the talking behind your back element. I don't know how you know about it but it does need challenging, particularly the elements around what you do and that she does the work she thinks you should. I would be having a minuted conversation with her as a minimum, calling her out on the comments you have heard and asking her about them. If you cannot trust your team, something needs to change.

Thank you for not ripping me apart.

The crying has happened on several occasions now. The first time was on handover from her previous manager. She cried to me that he was micromanaging her and she felt stupid and undermined. So I was very mindful to give her autonomy and a chance to shine - which she did, and thanked me. But then a couple of weeks later she cried that I wasn’t managing her enough :(

That was my initial instinct until I read about Gen Z. I really want to make this work as I’m sure she won’t be the last Gen Z I manage. I’ve managed other people before without issues but am taken aback by this lady.

She sounds intensely irritating.

Are there good/experienced managers in your workplace? Not necessarily your own line manager, but someone you could ask to mentor you who you'd be able to run these issues by and get advice.

Is she on probation still? Set some minimum expectations for her to pass it.

Not available when you try to contact her. What conversation have you had about this, how does she explain it? I'd want to set some parameters, eg, a daily check-in & discussion of today's priorities (this could include your own priorities which then covers her point about not knowing what you do). Only needs to be 10 mins. Could reduce eg to 3 times per week if she improves. Worst case scenario - she must work from the office until her contactability improves (eg, review after 2 months).

Ignore ups and downs whether you're the best or worst manager unless she's overstepping a boundary. She's allowed to have an opinion, but she needs to learn how and when and to whom she expresses it.

If this is her first job, maybe she'd benefit from a designated work buddy (someone who's fair, possibly looking for line management experience with a view to promotion) from whom she can learn about workplace expectations and guide her to better behaviours.

It sounds difficult.

But…. It is really difficult to work out the lay of the land when you are working hybrid…. If she’s had a change in manager it’s likely that expectations have changed maybe? I will say again hybrid working is difficult to work out the lay of the land. I say this as someone who has worked for 20 years- retrained and started at the bottom again. I had a change in manager and it took me months to adjust (I just carried on doing what I’d been doing for the first year then found that wasn’t what the new manager wanted.) there’s limited contact and conversations to work things out with other people which there would be if you weren’t hybrid.

Surely you just need to have a conversation (in a 1:1) about the expectations of her, what her duties are, and that if she’s unsure she should contact you. And this needs to be well documented.

Then she needs a little bit of time to adjust to this… then if she can’t manage that maybe a PIP? Also with the crying - maybe direct her to well-being services etc….

Thank you. Your setup mirrors mine so you’re probably a good window into what my boss would think! I’ve largely shielded my boss from the situation as I hope to sort it between me and my employee.

i don’t think we’ve reached PIP level. My employee has produced some excellent work, she is very conscientious and has performed well. She’s been with us 6 months now and is about to pass probation. Her complaining is what I’m struggling with rather than her performance. I want her to feel happy at work but just when I solve one complaint, another will materialise or she’ll due a U-turn on something she previously complained about and take the opposite stance to what she took before! I’ve begun dreading our twice weekly catch ups. I know the onus is on me to sort this. Any advice on what questions I can ask her to get to the bottom of it?

I feel bad for the Gen Zs actually. It must be so difficult to start your career working from home.

She sounds very immature. To an extent, that’s understandable in her first job but she needs to realise that if she wants to get anywhere in her career, or even keep the job she’s got, she needs to grow up & knuckle down.

Involve HR and give her clear feedback on what needs to improve & by when. Ignore the crying ; at best it’s unprofessional, often it’s a deliberately manipulative tactic.

I’ve largely shielded my boss from the situation as I hope to sort it between me and my employee

I think this is a mistake. I'd expect to deal with this myself but make my manager aware that there's an issue (and ask for advice).

She’s been with us 6 months now and is about to pass probation.

Is extending her probation an option?

She said other colleagues “feel sorry for her”. But I’m not offended because as I mentioned, when I took on her management she complained about my predecessor to me! I spoke to my mentor about this and they said they’d be frustrated about her public meltdowns and complaining. My mentor said the work my employee is doing is normal for her grade. So I’m very bamboozled by the complaining.

I plan on having a minuted conversation with her tomorrow. I was hoping this thread would help me to structure the conversation, if I’m honest.

I think you should let your boss know the situation. Firstly, it shouldn’t just be on you to sort this out, your boss should support you. Very likely she has dealt with it before and can coach you through it, which will help you grow as a manager and will show her that you are escalating appropriately.

Secondly, your boss might want to have a view on whether probation is extended while these issues are dealt with.

When she’s not online, have you phoned her?

what is her response when you’ve brought up not being able to contact her?

We have one of these in my team and she’s driving me mad. But her younger colleague is great. I really don’t think you can blame age or generation for this - there are other factors involved.

This. And if I was your boss I’d want to know.

Thank you. Good advice re: a buddy! I’ll look into that. I think someone the grade above her would work.

yes, I have a mentor who sympathises. My mentor is also autistic which is helpful. She suggested I might not be picking up on cues of stress until they have gotten huge. So Is really like to brush up on my communication: lots of open questioning, listening.

Forgetting the Gen-** thing, what you have is an employee with behavioural performance issues.

Take opinions and feelings out of it and follow your company processes.

Hopefully you have behavioural expectations/competencies/values in place, you need to have a proper discussion in a 1:1 where you review the expectations and how well she is meeting them, this should be alongside productivity/quality expectations. If she is not meeting them then you implement a performance improvement plan where you document the expectations, set SMART objectives and identify any training or additional support she may need.

You then review that regularly, deliver any training/support, sign off if she improves and escalate if improvement is not seen.

Gen Z or not, if she's had the training / support but is still not capable, we PIP them out really quickly. The longer they stay, the more it embeds the behaviour (and legally it starts getting harder to get rid).