AIBU to need help managing Gen Z?

[HebburnPokemon]

Age old story: I’m an older millennial (41) managing Gen Z (24) and finding it hard going. At first, I thought this was a simple personality clash, until a friend suggested it’s probably an inter generational clash due to the problems I was describing:

My employee goes AWOL often. We work hybrid so if she’s not online I can’t track her down. This isn’t normally a huge deal unless I need something urgently.

My employee cries a lot. This is normally in response to someone offering constructive criticism.

My employee complains that she’s doing work above her pay grade (she’s not).

My employee complains that she’s stressed with a particular area of work and cries. So I take over the area with her agreement. But when I’m not around she does work on the area and then complains to me afterwards that “she’s been sucked back in” to the stress.

My employee is erratic in her opinions of me. One week I’m the best manager ever and she send me cute gifs and compliments me to others, the next week she’s complaining to others that she’s doing the work of my grade.

My employee complains that she doesn’t know what I do each day (I’m 2 grades above, does she need to know?)

When I google Gen Z in the workplace it describes my employee 100%.

I’m fairly new to management so understand I need tips/suggestions to make this work. I’m far from perfect myself due to inexperience. This is also her first job.

Disclaimer: I’m Autistic, which adds to my feelings of bamboozlement!

Experienced managers of Mumsnet, please advise!

I swear that the constant generational bollocks these days is because humans are desperate to sort each other into neat little boxes and we can't do that by skin colour or sex or class any more so we do it by age.

And it gives us useless results now, just as it did then.

What does it actually mean if you're a few decades older than someone? Why is THAT the defining feature of their life rather then their upbringing or education or character or experiences or heart or health or struggles?

I don't mind doing it publicly

Perhaps performance crying is your thing. But why should it be a thing for your managers and colleagues?

It is an unprofessional response to critique or not having things your own way.

I'd speak with HR and/or your manager about your concerns, especially if she hasn't passed probation yet. It will be more hassle to try to get rid of her after she's passed it. It's not only the quality of work but also personality, don't expect it will get any easier /better after she's passed the probation.

Imagine if someone started a thread blaming an older generation for poor behaviour in work rather than just putting it down to individuals. I've had so absolutely awful experiences with gen x and baby boomers in the workplace. If I generalised this to all of that gereration I'd be accused of ageism. It's interesting mumsnet seem to see ageism when it effects them but not the other way around.

I thought Boomers got blamed for everything 😁

The constant complaining and inability to take feedback IMO.
I'm in no way suggesting that people need to keep quiet about any issues. But there's a professional way to word things. Also, some of the things she says are outright lies.

1. Complaining that the work is stressful - why? Which aspect of it exactly? And what's the long-term resolution, other than you just doing her job for her?
   If she has an issue you should sit down and discuss it come up with a solution.

2. Saying that she's doing the work of your grade. Not only is this untrue (well according to you) but it also makes you look bad.
   If she feels that she's working above her pay grade then she should list all that tasks and then bring it to you, pointing it out not go around telling everyone else.

3. Crying - @MotherOfRatios all workplaces are different, crying after a patient dies for example would be OK but not crying in front of a client in a sales meeting.
   The issue here is constructive feedback makes her cry. I'm taking your word for it OP that this is professionally worded. So how is she going to improve if she can't take it on the chin?

If the feedback is not justified then she should push back rationally.

4. Regarding wanting to know what you do. This should not be a complaint but a request for more exposure, for her development. I raised this to my manager and he let me shadow him, added me to meetings etc.

I'll dig out some resources (they're on my work laptop!) tomorrow but Ask a Manager is a site I've found helpful. Also LinkedIn learning has some good free courses.

I manage gen z and she is a great employee. Punctual, professional. Everything you could want from an employee and more.

I don’t think it’s everyone who is that age I think you got unlucky!

My advice is to first stop the ageism and the generational nonsense. Imagine the uproar if you'd said you had an employee in her 50s who was too emotional at work as she was going through the menopause and wasn't as good with technology as younger colleagues. This is just as bad.

Manage the individual - and as another autistic person, it isn't an excuse for ageism.

I still disagree
I think we have such an obsession with always just carrying on in Britain and it's not helpful to anyone

Well I think you're going to disagree anyway but there's a difference between constantly crying at every little thing and crying at something major.
I work in a male-dominated industry and yes when I fucked something up massively I broke down in tears in front of my boss, he was understanding and actually covered for me.
But he wouldn't have done so if I was constantly in tears. Are you seriously saying that that's normal?

Also can you name some other countries that are happy to have people crying etc all the time in the workplace, I don't think this is a British specialty.

I am afraid I agree with @PingvsPong here. Work is work, a normal part of everyone’s life, and in most instances it’s not a proportionate response for anything which happens at work to move an adult to tears. Feedback and constructive criticism are a normal, healthy part of work and development - nobody improves and progresses unless they know what they can do better. It’s not school, you’re not being told off - and this is the maturity that is lacking in people who can’t take constructive criticism. Of course it has to be offered constructively, but that doesn’t mean soft soaping. The company or organisation is paying you to produce work or results, to do it in an appropriate way and get along with your colleagues at the same time.

I’m pretty confident everyone else thinks she’s fantastic

Whether they do or not they're not the ones having to manage her, or the ones who'll have to deal with the fallout if she passes probation and regards it as carte blanche to treat you to the full experience

So as practically everyone's saying, sort it out now before things get any worse

You need help and support managing her. Seek advice from your boss. List all the issues. Arrange meetings to discuss. Set objectives abc future review meetings.

Is see new, probation passed? Annual review, and monthly meetings leading up to it.

Don't give he any ammunition to find fault with you.

In the end if it doesn't work out she'll have to be put on a pip, or just given notice. Get HR involved do you do everything by the book, and she has no case against you.

These generational labels have gained so much traction because they give people a pseudo-scientific way to complain about "young people today".

@HebburnPokemon

I always start with HR items, to make sure that things like sick, holiday and anything else does not get forgotten.

I then move on to reviewing work in progress, then a discussion about what might be coming up in the near future.

Only then is it time for a free chat - if there's any time left.

I managed someone like this years ago. She was an absolute twat. She was a millennial I’m sure. I manage some gen z today and they are fantastic- hard working, proactive, way more mature than I was at that age. So from my experience it’s more a personality thing not necessarily generational although I do think there are expectation differences between the generations.

she has cried to me on several occasions when receiving constructive feedback; even when colleagues have been careful to deliver “a shit sandwich” so there’s compliments mixed in.

That is not how adults conduct themselves in the workplace. If she is really that emotionally unstable, she needs qualified professional help and should be guided in that direction. It’s not your job to be trying to sort her head out.

Why are other people giving her constructive feedback? You're her manager.

What's she like in face to face conversations with just you?

There is definitely a generational difference in the workplace.

I have had to train a group of gen Z’s and I’d say the biggest thing I’ve noticed is that work and personal interest needs to align more than I’ve ever known in the workplace.

Although your employee does not show normal behaviour.

Yes, there are different personalities. But there has been a generational shift with social media, side hustle culture, the economy being rubbish etc.

These arnt excuses but my first thought would be that your employee is probably not even into the job so I would probably start monitoring them formally, having things on record and watching closely with them achieving KPIs. Maybe prolong their probation and at least you have grounds to let them go if they are not pulling their weight.

Doing a skills audit. Are there skills you’ve overlooked that they could bring into work that they are interested in. This could help with performance.

Maybe have a lunch with them and find out more about why they took on the job. Long term plans and how this job fits into it. If it does at all.

Refer her to any mental health support that your workspace offer - you can mention that everyone has access to it and she is more than welcome to use it etc.

In general as her manager, ensure her tasks are clear and deadlines are clear.

If it’s her first job you might need to micro manage a little and offer training.

Psychological safety is good, but you are her manager, not her friend.

When I was a young line manager I ended up basically being the therapist of a deeply unpleasant para-alcoholic, nowadays I'm careful to retain some boundaries.

She needs to know that people shouldn't be bitching about their ex manager to their current one and tears have very little place in the workplace. You are failing her by not teaching her this.

I could've written this myself. I'm managing three 24 year olds and it's a fucking nightmare. Constant bitching and in fighting, always complaining about either other, hate doing any 'boring' admin tasks, constantly asking for promotions and pay rises etc. it's driving me nuts

I would be leary of the crying. That's not to say it isn't genuine but some people are capable of faking this to be manipulative. This was very foreign to me but my ex inlaw was a master at this.

I've name changed for this but also older millennial with lots of early 20- somethings in office and they're nice enough, and not all like this, but (and I know this makes me sound 5000) a lot are. My colleagues and I wouldn't have dared to tell our bosses at that age we were burned out and started to cry, but they do every week. To be honest, it's probably good: they're leaving on time, having proper lunch breaks, focusing on mental health etc, but I also can't for the life of me imagine having done it. So a (secret) part of me thinks FFS when another one feels overwhelmed.

It may also depend on the workplace? Many companies especially big ones are often very open about mental health, constantly having awareness days etc so they might feel that it's a suitable environment.

The good thing these days is the reduction of presentism, back in the day 'leaving on time' was tantamount to knocking off early even if you didn't have any work. However, output and visibility to the right people is still important.

Those who want to progress, do what is needed and are rewarded. Hours worked isn't an indication of anything, but if you take on more work because you are ambitious you're likely to be staying later. And gaining more experience, as a result you will get ahead.

The problem as @BananaHammock23 describes a small subsection of people don't want to put in the work. But want all the promotions/payrises etc etc.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying your life, leaving on time etc if you want to focus on life outside work , it doesn't mean your career is stymied just that it might progress at a 'normal' rate instead of being on Forbes 30 under 30 . Progression isn't a given and also not everyone has a glittering 'career' many just have jobs.

Entering the working world is also about learning to manage yourself IMO and that includes your mental health but different people, shall we say have different definitions of coping with stress. Some people seem to think it's acceptable to claim burnout, cry and complain. Others find ways to make it work for them. At the end of the day some people can't manage stress and that's fine but don't expect to be promoted. Of course I am assuming normal workplace. If you're getting bullied, genuinely put under undue pressure due to a lack of staff/funding that's a different matter.

It's important to recognise genuine burnout, overwork and take a step back. But that doesn't mean things should go too far in the opposite direction!

Yes, there are different personalities. But there has been a generational shift with social media, side hustle culture, the economy being rubbish etc.

I agree on both counts, @Orangeandgold, but would add that IME it's the personality which can make some susceptible to all the rest

To those with real drive it's just so much background noise, whereas others will leap upon the latest fashionable phrases to excuse themselves from something they had no real intention of doing in the first place