AIBU to need help managing Gen Z?

[HebburnPokemon]

Age old story: I’m an older millennial (41) managing Gen Z (24) and finding it hard going. At first, I thought this was a simple personality clash, until a friend suggested it’s probably an inter generational clash due to the problems I was describing:

My employee goes AWOL often. We work hybrid so if she’s not online I can’t track her down. This isn’t normally a huge deal unless I need something urgently.

My employee cries a lot. This is normally in response to someone offering constructive criticism.

My employee complains that she’s doing work above her pay grade (she’s not).

My employee complains that she’s stressed with a particular area of work and cries. So I take over the area with her agreement. But when I’m not around she does work on the area and then complains to me afterwards that “she’s been sucked back in” to the stress.

My employee is erratic in her opinions of me. One week I’m the best manager ever and she send me cute gifs and compliments me to others, the next week she’s complaining to others that she’s doing the work of my grade.

My employee complains that she doesn’t know what I do each day (I’m 2 grades above, does she need to know?)

When I google Gen Z in the workplace it describes my employee 100%.

I’m fairly new to management so understand I need tips/suggestions to make this work. I’m far from perfect myself due to inexperience. This is also her first job.

Disclaimer: I’m Autistic, which adds to my feelings of bamboozlement!

Experienced managers of Mumsnet, please advise!

Similar situation here

Interviewed really well but has 0 get up and go or enthusiasm

Won't talk to people which is about 90% what we do..

Won't engage, like just here for the paycheck

Frustrating

Performance managment, then get rid.

Thanks for this advice. I will mention it to my manager tentatively in our next catch up.

Re: extending probation, it is possible but very rare to do this in my organisation. She hasn’t met the threshold. Her work is to a very good standard.

I agree with the "set your expectations clearly, set targets, expectations them to be met" approach - formal, in writing, measured and fed back on progress. Not crying when you don't get your own way would be one of them in my book.

As for the going AWOL, I had that issue with an employee. They are now an ex-employee as a result.

Being fair, being kind, and being supportive are not the same thing as being a pushover. The biggest mistake I'd say you made was discussing her criticism of her previous manager with her. That is a discussion you always shut down. Even if you know that a previous manager was an absolute *** you never discuss other managers with those you line manage. It blurs the boundaries.

My employee is in the office most days (it’s a different office to mine). She prefers the office. So my presumption is that she’s doing something in the office when she appears AWOL.

Sorry you’re suffering the same. What techniques have worked for you?

The crying isn't good. You need to address that. Do you do in-person meetings?

As for thinking she doesn't need to know what you do because you're two grades higher, why shouldn't she know? Working remotely creates a disconnected, no like being in the office when you might discuss. Remote working requires decent management, and very good communication skills better than needed in when everyone was in office.

For goodness sake, if she's not met the threshold do not pass probation.

It is usual for people to pass in every organisation, the majority of people do, but some don't, they are the exception but also the reason why a probation period and process exists. You can't pass everyone just because it's uncomfortable to fail them.

It will be especially uncomfortable because it will probably come as a surprise at this point if you had been planning to pass her just to keep up the convention, really it should be a transparent and easily understood process and she should have known all the way through how she was measuring up against the expectations.

Are there any non-computer tasks in her remit? Which would explain the awol?

Do you actually ask her or just presume?

The problem I have with PIP personally is that her work is excellent. It’s purely a behavioural problem. It feels harsh to do PIP and I also worry others wouldn’t agree she needs one because they haven’t seen the big picture as I have.

This sounds like you need to extend her probation and make it clear what the company’s “behavioural expectations”
are. Ask her if she’d benefit from additional support but make it clear that crying constantly and going awol are unacceptable. You need to deal with this sooner rather than later or she’ll be off on long-term sick with anxiety.

She’s not really AWOL if she’s in the office. I’d still phone her if you need to get in contact urgently and she’s not online or just wait for her get back to her desk.

how long can she be disappearing for in the office? What has she said she’s doing?

Behaviours would normally be part of the capability framework. Someone can have good output but poor behaviours, and therefore still be performing badly.

The typical example might be someone who exceeds their sales targets but acts aggressively, but it could equally be someone who produces a good report but cries when criticised, gossips, and won’t engage with their team.

To be fair, my employee has enthusiasm and is very ambitious. She wants to climb several grades above where she is. My problem is the regular complaining. She seems very dissatisfied with me, her previous boss, procedures, deadlines, etc.

I think you need to formally identify the problem behaviours with her, let her know what is expected and not expected and agree what support you can give her.

The actual work that she produces is not everything she is required to do. If she is undermining the team or requiring a consistently high level of support and supervision or taking too long to do her work or communicating poorly etc etc then this is part of performance.

I'd access formal support yourself from your manager/HR/peer support programme/ mentor

This OP.
I work with a lot of Gen Z who are capable, competent and do far better than the erm much older workshy people who do everything to avoid producing any actual output.

Stereotypes on the internet are just that - stereotypes. I get that you are Autistic, so I'll put this to you bluntly humans are the same time and time again every generation has their fair share of entitled whingers. Or simply, immature young people who need to be trained in the world of work. That's why grad schemes prefer hiring those with previous work experience even if it's just retail.

Even if your employee is great at her job, culture is also a part of performance. She's behaving very unprofessionally. Sending you gifts, going AWOL, complaining etc she things you're her best mate not her boss. There's no respect.

PP above has good advice. See if you can get some management training. Pull her up on her attitude. Also... speaking from experience, her work is of a 'good standard' but it's been 6 months she's well aware that she's on probation. I give it a few months after she passed, max before she shows her true colours.

FYI I manage people too, I'm very close to my boss (he even came to my wedding) but I'd never dream of doing what your employee does. I also work flexibly, take time out of my day if needed but I have it communicated with a status message or block my diary. And yes, I am also ambitious!

If I'd done what she did nobody else would have supported my ambition, and given me more responsibilities. She's going to find herself knocked down several rungs if she's not careful. You're treating her with kid gloves but another manager probably won't.

I would suggest to her that she gets a mentor to support with her development.

You need to subtly make her understand that it's not appropriate to bring all her gripes and whines to you and that emotional self regulation is part of being a working adult.

@HebburnPokemon a behavioural issue is an issue though.

Right now she is on her absolute best behaviour as she's within probation and trying to make a good impression.

When we talk about disciplinary processes, they are initiated based on there being either a Conduct or a Capability issue.

You need to establish which is the case here, are there additional needs you are not aware of that make her incapable of meeting the behavioural expectations, in which case you need to consider reasonable accommodations. Or is she perfectly capable of meeting them but is opting not to, in which case you have a conduct issue and that will likely get worse as her position in the company becomes more stable as as you prove that you are unwilling to address the conduct therefore giving her permission to continue.

Thank you for the advice. It is very helpful.

When she complained about her previous manager, I reassured her that he had good intentions. I’ve worked closely with him for a while and he’s excellent. But I also felt it important to show her I was willing to flex to her individual needs. She wanted autonomy and less micromanaging- I gave it. But now she wants the opposite! Agghhh

In hindsight, shutting it down was probably the correct course!

The trouble with people like this is, a lot of the time, they're very manipulative and know exactly what they're doing.
I also fail to understand how the OP thinks her work is of a 'good standard' when the OP has to take over frequently, and she complains that she doesn't know what to do.

leaving them in the company at best will result in some sort of employment tribunal or worse, cause other good members of staff to leave in response.

@HebburnPokemon don't worry, you will learn all this. People management isn't the natural 'next step up'. It's a career change. Being good at your 'day job' doesn't always prepare you for managing people it's s steep learning curve.
Be sure to take advantage of any training provided and lean on more experienced managers that you trust. I can recommend some good websites as well.

It's often helpful to distinguish between what an employee delivers and how they deliver - it sounds like this employee is delivering but there are some aspects of the way they deliver that aren't as expected. I'd be really explicit about the behavioural standards you expect and give clear feedback on a regular basis about this, e.g. if you say she needs to be contactable within x minutes during specific hours, then cite occasions when she hasn't responded. Do you have some sort of framework that sets out expectations for roles at different levels which you could use to frame a conversation about expectations?

Complaining is a problem for you but not necessarily a real problem in terms of her work?

She seems to regard you as more of a friend/equal than is appropriate. Try to find a way, or a person, to explain how she can have a more formal, work focused, approach to interactions with you.

In a calm moment try to find a way that you feel is appropriate to let her know that crying and complaining (or comparing) are both not useful or appropriate ways of communicating distress and dissatisfaction.

If she requests more work ask her to weite it up formally with benchmarks for evaluation. Ditto if she complains about work she has asked for.

She may really not know how snd why to keep her opinions to herself or how to evaluate her work.

I used to routinely be assessed on my preformace and behaviour at work. And I Still i assess my staff that way. Extending probation as she goes AWOL and cries routinely and complains about you is totally reasonable. A PIP on the same grounds could be done, but as a probation review is coming, that seems the more obvious tool.

This is an interesting view. I haven't discussed my tasks in any detail unless they’re directly relevant to her work. I didn’t want to confuse her and I didn’t see the need for her to know. It’s not something my manager does with me, nor any of my previous managers.

Is this something I should be doing for development purposes? Should I be asking my manager about her work? I was taken aback when my employee asked me, particularly in combination with her complaints that she’s doing the work of my grade.