AIBU to need help managing Gen Z?

[HebburnPokemon]

Age old story: I’m an older millennial (41) managing Gen Z (24) and finding it hard going. At first, I thought this was a simple personality clash, until a friend suggested it’s probably an inter generational clash due to the problems I was describing:

My employee goes AWOL often. We work hybrid so if she’s not online I can’t track her down. This isn’t normally a huge deal unless I need something urgently.

My employee cries a lot. This is normally in response to someone offering constructive criticism.

My employee complains that she’s doing work above her pay grade (she’s not).

My employee complains that she’s stressed with a particular area of work and cries. So I take over the area with her agreement. But when I’m not around she does work on the area and then complains to me afterwards that “she’s been sucked back in” to the stress.

My employee is erratic in her opinions of me. One week I’m the best manager ever and she send me cute gifs and compliments me to others, the next week she’s complaining to others that she’s doing the work of my grade.

My employee complains that she doesn’t know what I do each day (I’m 2 grades above, does she need to know?)

When I google Gen Z in the workplace it describes my employee 100%.

I’m fairly new to management so understand I need tips/suggestions to make this work. I’m far from perfect myself due to inexperience. This is also her first job.

Disclaimer: I’m Autistic, which adds to my feelings of bamboozlement!

Experienced managers of Mumsnet, please advise!

Sorry, I should have been more clear: she has not met the threshold for PIP. I believe she has very much met the threshold to pass probation.

I don't think you need to go onto detail of exactly what you. But if she awareness of what your job involves it gives her an insight to how processes work. This might lower her frustration in work (and so complaining.)

Doesn't sound like you actually see her (you being in a different office). She might be under the impression you do nothing all day!!

I think remote working is rife with paranoia where in person contact is minimum or non-existent.

F2f meeting perhaps

I wouldn't start describing in detail what you do.But I would ask her what she is doing that she thinks is many grades above her JD, and then walk her through why it's a reasonable expectation- if indeed it is.

In my organisation behaviours are as important as work performance in gaining promotion. So when she discusses goals and objectives for end of year, presumably she wants to progress?
You say her work is good, so praise her for this. But if she wants to move up to the next level she needs to think about how she will manage staff. Rather than pointing out crying, complaining about having to do work at next level etc etc, you need to say if she feels she has the evidence of working at the next level, it will be noted at her end of year report.
Tell her if she wants to progress, she needs to think of how she will lead a team. Sometimes, she will be put in stressful situations and will have to find a solution - does she feel she can do this?
Does she feel confidence in training others?
She sounds a little immature but this is her first job. I would praise her for her quality of work but set her some objectives to improve her behaviours all under the guise of preparing her to further her career.

it really is not helpful, not to mention discriminatory, to imply that employees behave in a certain way simply because of their age.

Instead you need to look at this as being an issue with this specific employee.

As a good manager you need to be able to manage effectively people of all ages, backgrounds and yes that include difficult people.

If not you are not up to the job of being a manager.

You need to arrange a one to one meeting with her, list all the issues you have with her performance and state how you expect her to address these issues from now on. Be clear that this is an informal warning for now that she needs to improve and that if she does not you will start more formal procedures.

If she is young and in her first job make sure she has all the necessary training and that you are very clear on her objectives and what she needs to achieve.

Also I would extend her probation so she understand that this is serious and she needs to make an effort...

Can you come and work for me? Haha

I will ask about management training tomorrow. I’m very up for it.

Which aspect of my employees behaviour do you find most troublesome, complaining to others?

I want her to feel psychologically safe to share concerns with me. I take it as a compliment that she feels she can do that. I will now place emphasis on her coming with solutions.

You can PIP for her attitude and should do sooner rather than later. How is her work to a good standard if she's complaining about it all the time? And if she's producing good work but complaining it's too hard do you reflect that back to her?

Nothing to do with generations. I have a colleague who sounds very similar and we’re both Gen X.

If she's in a meeting it should be in her calendar. Does she not keep it up to date?

I have the same chat with a lot of friends managing Gen Z. Yes there are always individual personality variables but I do think there are generational differences too. It's really hard!

One thing I've noticed is that you have to make explicit things that I would have thought were obvious/didn't need to be said (because they felt that way to me).

For example, being unavailable for stretches of time. I would never have done this at work! But if it isn't obvious to your colleague then you have to make it clear: within working hours you must be contactable. If you need to go offline for a few hours for whatever reason this needs to be discussed in advance to ensure it works for everyone, or, if it's for something like a doctor's appt that has to happen, we can plan around it. It can't just happen without warning. That's not an unreasonable expectation. Put it in writing and hold her to it.

The work above grade thing is funny too. I would make sure she has really clear written statements of what her grade involves. These will always be subject to some interpretation, so that isn't the silver bullet. I have always worked in places where in order to progress, you need to show you are functioning above your grade, in order to get promoted into that grade. So the other key element of this is to emphasise that there will be an official moment in which this is reviewed, and that this will be in her annual performance review. That is the moment to review the level she is working at. Not lots of little ad hoc comments like this. It is then her responsibility to track what she does, so she can come to her annual review with evidence of the grade she is performing at. This will be reviewed by you in line with 360 feedback (or whatever your system is), and assessed then. It must be contained, and formalized. That gives you a way to push back on her remarks - you can say "make a note and we will review in your annual review".

Absolutely this. I manage a lot of young people in an entertainment business.
We have regular catch ups (official and coffee chats) as part of staff development. Issues are sorted before they become a huge deal.
I have no truck with gossip, if they have something to say, say it and we can assess and resolve. The crying every five seconds would have no place. Time to be a grown up!

You aren't her parent, she is an employee and you are her manager.

Oh and does she have a document that outlines on a topline level what is expected of every grade? I assume so - just cos you said she is curious about what tasks you are doing.

I agree with a PP that it is very valuable to see what people above you are doing.

I used to attend lots of meetings etc - both formal, and more conversational - where really I added very little but I was simply observing my seniors. This is how the majority of my learning occurred. I do things now, as a director, and realize I am simply putting into practice what I learned from observing those who were once my directors. I also was often in meetings with very senior leadership (C-suite etc) right from the start of my career. This was invaluable exposure. Every job works differently but she may benefit from more of this, both as a learning experience and as a way to see just how much of a gap there really is between her and her seniors....!

We’re working on a tough project in a very large organisation with a lot of moving parts. She was getting frustrated with the bureaucratic elements, as are a lot of colleagues. It’s been a tough project for years. Lots of frustrated people, for reasons outside our control. But we plough through because we have to.

When she started crying and saying she was burning out and saying other colleagues felt sorry for her, I stepped in and took control of the work area that was causing the frustration.

She appears, however, to have misunderstood the meaning of "employment". She needs to show willing to flex to her managers / employers expectations. Not the other way around. You earn flexibility, it isn't a gift. Over the next decades she is going to meet a huge variety of managers and employers. Some of them will be very different. And you learn to work with ALL of them. Not just the ones that suit your preferences. And if she really wants to get ahead them she needs to suck up that fact. And stop crying. Nobody wants a manager or colleague who cries if they don't get their own way. It isn't professional. And behaviours are equally as important as competencies in progression.

It's not gen Z really. I have millennial children who need quite a bit of help due to different dramas.
I have a gen Z child who is very hard working and resilient

It's personality

@PingvsPong please do share the websites!

Do not pass her on probation
Put her on a performance review as she is struggling with aspects. ( crying,complaining)
Make sure she knows that she has to actually be working and contactable during working hours.
Give her a mentor

But surely passing probation involves all aspects of her approach to the job, behaviour included?

Never mind the generational labels; this kind of thing has the potential to destabilise the whole team if you're not careful, so I'd be using your minuted talk tomorrow to discuss possible improvements in this area and using her response to inform a decision about extending probation

Much better IME to address these things early, before the red flag attitudes become entrenched, probation's passed and you reach a position where it's harder to get rid

@pikkumyy77 “Complaining is a problem for you but not necessarily a real problem in terms of her work?”

yes, I’m pretty confident everyone else thinks she’s fantastic. So the imposter in me worries my management isn’t up to scratch here.

Re: evaluating her work, she has cried to me on several occasions when receiving constructive feedback; even when colleagues have been careful to deliver “a shit sandwich” so there’s compliments mixed in.

If you have to take over aspects of her job, then only some of her work is to an excellent standard. You need to address the behaviour. You should be able to extend her probation on that basis.

Crying to this extent is not normal and she needs to address this outside of work. If you have an EAP direct her to that so she can get some help with that. The thing is you don’t want to discourage her from raising genuine concerns around her capacity or ability to deliver a piece of work. That will cause you more problems. Regarding going AWOL, if you need her can you get hold of her? Does she have your messenger on her phone for example? If she’s getting her work done on time and is contactable I personally wouldn’t mind this.

To address the complaining, give her a detailed job description, set out your expectations very clearly and give her a capability/ competency matrix which illustrates how she can progress to the next grade (have a look on Google for examples). Set 2/3 objectives for her probation which will help her develop a competency listed.

I think new line management relationships always benefit from starting off a bit more formally. Then you can ease off as time passes.

One-to-one meetings are supervision and reviewing progress with tasks, rather than ‘Tell me how you are…’ sessions. I always have a structure or simple agenda in place even for a 1-1 meeting.

However, I do think that tears can be weaponised in the workplace to manipulate or gain sympathy - I have been on the receiving end of this as a colleague more than once! Not on, really.

Is there a criteria around having a positive attitude towards work and colleagues?

Thank you. I’m going to ask her for specifics and really get to the bottom of it.