Do you allow your 17-year-old to…

[Topray]

Have completely unrestricted and unsupervised phone access (so not even having to leave phone downstairs at nighttime)

Work part-time if still at school or college.

Learn to drive (either self-funded from wages or with parental help)

Travel in a car driven by a 17-year-old

Stay overnight at the home of a friend you do not know

Use public transport alone at night

Regulate their own sleep, even if this means getting out of bed at 3pm on a weekend

Stay home alone overnight or for multiple days

Be out and about without you know really knowing exactly where they are at any given moment

Both my dds had all of these freedoms at 17 and were capable of making sensible decisions. The getting in the car with young drivers can be scary as a parent but then my eldest was the young driver so drove her sister to sixth form with 2 others. We're rural so needs must.

They're early 20s now and turned out just fine.

Yes to all.

Have completely unrestricted and unsupervised phone access (so not even having to leave phone downstairs at nighttime) - yes( also had Tv / comp / consoles in their rooms)

Work part-time if still at school or college. - yes

Learn to drive (either self-funded from wages or with parental help) - encouraged them to do so

Travel in a car driven by a 17-year-old - yes

Stay overnight at the home of a friend you do not know - if I knew where the house was

Use public transport alone at night - they never did but could have

Regulate their own sleep, even if this means getting out of bed at 3pm on a weekend - yes

Stay home alone overnight or for multiple days - yes

Be out and about without you know really knowing exactly where they are at any given moment- yes ( I used to like an update as to whether they were going to be in for meals etc )

Ds has ADHD and has never left the front door open or done something like left the job on so can be trusted with being home alone like a NT child.

He knows my phone number off by heart if his phone runs out of charge and his friends will allow him to contact me. He has gone to school after a very late night and taken a nap when he got home but he’s learned the hard way that his ideal amount of sleep is 11pm-7:30am.

He uses Google maps to travel to unfamiliar places by foot / bicycle and has practiced public transport and taxis. He knows how to rent an e-scooter too.

Yes to most.

Travel in a car driven by a 17-year-old
It hasn't happened yet as none have their own cars, one has passed. I would not like it during night time hours, say 11pm to 5am.

Use public transport alone at night
I would offer to collect late at night, or would collect from the station. Nothing to do with being 17, I'd offer for adults travelling alone.

Regulate their own sleep, even if this means getting out of bed at 3pm on a weekend
Sleepovers or occasional gaming sessions can mean an 11am wake up, followed by an early night. Never a day/night switch. I usually cook us both breakfast on other days so he will get up for coffee and eggs!

Yes to all of them, except the transport one. Either get the bus/tube home with a friend, or get a black cab. No going home by yourself at night.

I'm autistic and did everything on that list. I even stayed at a YH alone at 15 after my parents lied about my age!

It's a long time since mine was seventeen but i remember it well and the answer is, "Yes", though I don't remember us going away and leaving overnight, in fact I'm sure we didn't. However, everything else was the norm.

Yes to all - Dd17

Yes to all.

Yes to most.

I like to know where they are staying. And at least speak to a parent if I don't know them.

Yes to all of the above.

Oops I didn't read the final couple of points when I posted earlier. Whilst I was fine with everything else, I would never have left my daughter at home overnight on her own. I wouldn't have trusted her to lock up properly or set the alarm, but most of all, I wouldn't have trusted her not to have had a party. Once she was old enough to go more or less where she wanted, I always asked thst I knew roughly where she was going and to let me know if she was going to be home much later than expected so thst I wouldn't worry.

I can remember one of my daughter's best friends being terrified in school on the day of all the terrorist attacks in central London many years ago because she knew her mum was in the area of one of the incidents and she couldn't contact her. My daughter and I both agreed then that we would always find a way of contacting each other if there was an emergency that one of us could have been caught up in. I was so relieved that we had that agreement as she currently lives in Turkey and travelled to Gazientep regularly, which was one of the areas badly affected in the earthquake last year. Almost as soon as the news started to come through about the earthquake, she was in touch. She's also got in touch quickly with the two more recent , but much smaller, earthquakes in Istanbul.

Yes.

Yes.

However I’d be very worried about this one “Travel in a car driven by a 17-year-old” because there was an accident about a mile from here where a 17 year old lost control of his car and killed a 17 year old passenger and seriously injured another.

All lovely kids too.

Yes to everything apart from the first the wifi switches off at midnight

I can’t cope with bad tempered teens who didn’t get enough sleep

we do all have find my friends for each other for safety it’s just what we do

At 17 I was already at university and living on my own...

Yes, when I was 17 I worked part time, I used my pay to pay for my own phone and for driving lessons. I supported myself as much as I could. I checked in when I was going out at night and would stay at friends houses regularly. I wasn’t asked to check in but always felt it was kind to let my parents know if I was going to be out most of the night.
Only thing that really bothered my parents was staying in bed most of the day but I quickly grew out of it.

Yes to everything except multiple nights home alone. But probably because this just hasn't come up. They do stay multiple nights away from home with friends/partner.

I did at that age, because I had no choice. Dad dead .Stepfather dead. Alcoholic mother of no use. Did and organised absolutelt everything myself.

Mostly yes but they haven't stayed over a strangers house and I know where they are going when they go out. I want to teach them to let someone know where you are in case anything happens .ore of a safety thing. Yes to everything else.

I was did almost all of that at 17. The last one, I would keep my mum informed if I was out late. She always knew where I was, and what time I anticipated would be home. If plans changed - for example unexpected a house party/ staying out at a friends house or that I would be home closer to midnight rather than 9pm etc, I would drop her a message to update her of my plans. Same for my teens. But to be honest, I think this is fairly standard “good form” for adults/teenagers living together to make sure people are not worried about each other.

Me and DH will update each other of our whereabouts if our late/plans change and we are in our late 40s!!!

I was living in another town, staying with a friend and in full-time work at 16.

Yes to all

One of my daughters has not got in a car with a 17 year old yet.