Subtle way to tell family members not to bring dog to my home around newborn

[Camcam]

Hi all,
DGM and DGF have a boisterous lapdog which yaps, jumps up on furniture and tries to chew toys. They take it on daily walks close by a farm so it usually has muddy paws and long hair.

I previously was living with DF (paying board) who is a dog lover so couldn’t make any comment when they used to bring the dog around almost daily. Now I have my own place and feel very irritated when they bring the dog around. I have to go around sterilising ds toys afterwards and cleaning the floors/furniture as it leaves so much hair around. I’ve made some not so subtle hints for them to leave the dog at home but they say she can’t be left alone as she gets anxious.

I’m due in a few weeks and having a c section (single parent) so absolutely do not want the dog. DGM and DGF are wonderful and come over often and will be wanting to visit the new baby. Does anyone have advice on how to tell them the dog isn’t allowed in without miffing them? 😫
Thanks in advance!

Apologies, was meant to say “I do not want the dog visiting”. Pressed send too soon!

Well for a start, don't be subtle. Be polite, but just say 'please don't bring any dogs with you when you visit'.

Just tell them. I have a sibling who told another of our siblings that if the dog came to visit, he’d be in the garden. The end.

I can't wait to see you, but with the baby here, can you leave the dog elsewhere

No need for subtle. Just tell them that you don’t have time for the extra work the dog causes you.

Don’t be subtle. You’ve tried it, it hasn’t worked. Because you’ve not said anything, they thinks it’s ok.

Just say, please don’t bring the dog over anymore. Thanks

Agree, why on earth is subtlety needed? Just tell them, don't bring the dog. And don't let it in if they do.

Don’t be subtle. ‘I cannot have the dog near me or the baby while I am recovering from major surgery. Sorry but I just can’t cope with the extra work or risk of infection’
then smile and repeat as needed….

If you’re subtle even if they pick up on it they will choose to ignore

You need to be direct.

Don’t be subtle! Just say hi when you’re visiting the baby please don’t bring the dog.

You’ll be recovering from major surgery, you do not need some max little dog jumping around you potentially causing injury.

If they get upset then that’s on them.

Subtle not going to work in this situation! I think just be direct. Surely with a newborn they'll be understanding?

Just be blunt, don't beat around the bush say clearly please do not bring the dog. If they say it cant be left just say we'll come separately then.

“If you bring the dog, it will be locked outside. I don’t want it in my house.”

You can't be subtle, you have to be blunt & v vlear

• DGM & DGF I'm really looking forward to you meeting the baby & spending time with her/him but you're going to have to stop bringing your dog to my house. Dogs & babies don't mix [and my midwife has been clear that no dogs should be allowed in the house]

Add the bit in brackets if it helps, sometimes putting a health care professional in the mix makes it easier.

I would say that your pediatrician advised you not to have the baby around dogs as the baby has a stridor - which is a (usually harmless) noise when they breath.

it’s a little white lie and nobody can argue with it.

It’s up to you as to whether you allow dogs in your home but believe it or not, people with dogs also have babies. They don’t tend to sterilise toys on a daily basis and most of the babies are still alive.

If they're the sort of person who gets pissed off at other people not wanting their dog there, there isn't a way to do this that won't leave them miffed. They think their dogs anxiety outweighs your wishes, you don't, you're just going to have to bite the bullet. Sometimes that's how it is when dealing with inherently unreasonable people.

I just made it very clear my house was a dog free house and it wasn't fair on my daughter to have her home to be anything other than a safe space.
A couple of times a dog has turned up. Once when they did us a big favour with late notice childcare. I didn't say anything that time and another time they bought their old dog. I did say anything but obviously the look I gave when seeing her did the job and they haven't brought her again.

No need to be subtle about it. Just be honest - you have a pet-free home and intend to keep it that way. Dog will have to be left outside.

Just be upfront and honest in as nice a way as you can. If they make the comment about the dog being anxious, you can say "not as anxious as I will be having the dog in my home".

Don't be subtle, be honest.

I can't wait for you to meet the baby, but please don't bring the dog until the baby is older.

You really don’t need to be subtle. Just tell them they can not bring the dog when they visit. You’ll have a newborn and be recovering from major surgery. At the same time. Any sane sensible people will understand.

Say it's to do with germs/muddy paws/dog hair. It creates too much work for you. Just say sorry you can't bring the dog. They can always visit one at a time if they don't want to leave the dog alone.

I would defo make it about the germs/hair - most people get that as a concern even if they think it's OTT - if you mention safety concerns some dog owners will think you're insinuating their dog is badly behaved. Every dog is hairy, and it's not seen as a judgement.

Reread your own post. Subtlety isn’t working. Just say ‘Don’t bring the dog, ever.’