Subtle way to tell family members not to bring dog to my home around newborn

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Hi all,
DGM and DGF have a boisterous lapdog which yaps, jumps up on furniture and tries to chew toys. They take it on daily walks close by a farm so it usually has muddy paws and long hair.

I previously was living with DF (paying board) who is a dog lover so couldn’t make any comment when they used to bring the dog around almost daily. Now I have my own place and feel very irritated when they bring the dog around. I have to go around sterilising ds toys afterwards and cleaning the floors/furniture as it leaves so much hair around. I’ve made some not so subtle hints for them to leave the dog at home but they say she can’t be left alone as she gets anxious.

I’m due in a few weeks and having a c section (single parent) so absolutely do not want the dog. DGM and DGF are wonderful and come over often and will be wanting to visit the new baby. Does anyone have advice on how to tell them the dog isn’t allowed in without miffing them? 😫
Thanks in advance!

Thanks all, I’m going to have to be blunt. My fault as I should have told them from the start.

I feel bad as they have been very helpful with babysitting Ds1 when I have had some last minute growth scans recently during this pregnancy so have not been able to say anything when they bring the dog over on these occasions.

Will have a chat with them in advance. Hopefully they don’t get too miffed. Thanks again :)

As a dog owner and lover I wouldn't be offended by this. If you didn't say it I'd ask and honestly wouldn't be offended if you said no.

Why on earth would you make up a medical issue about your own child rather than just say, we're not having dogs in the house with the baby.

Bizarre

That's lovely.
Most people are like this.
And on visiting a house with a dog people usually pop the dog in another room or outside weather permitting.

My dog and I go everywhere together but I absolutely wouldn’t be bringing him to a house with a new baby unless the parents specifically asked me to. You wouldn’t need to tell me but I wouldn’t be one bit annoyed if you did. It’s very reasonable
I wouldn’t be bringing him to any house unless he was invited in fairness.

This is concerning

you're about to become a parent, you are the only person advocating for your child’s safety and you’re sat worrying about hurting feelings asking people to not bring a danger into your home?

Just say please don’t bring the dog. It’s not that difficult. If it is difficult it might be worth really taking a look at how you’re going to manage parenting when you’re unable to protect your child over hurt feelings

Who are these people who bring their animals to dog-free homes without asking?

None of my friends and family who have dogs would dream of bringing them to someone else’s home unless there were exceptional circumstances and they’d asked in advance. Even then they’d be prepared to be told no!

It’s wild that people assume they can take their dogs to other peoples houses. I can’t imagine anything worse than a dog in the house when I had my son. Totally get if you have dogs it’s just normal for when you have kids, but to assume you can take a dog anywhere. It’s mad

Who are these people who bring their animals to dog-free homes without asking?

People who are entitled and selfish, and treat their animal as a "furbaby" and equivalent to a human member of the family. You wouldn't expect granny to stand outside in the cold, so why would you expect Fido to?

We had a family member (IL to me) try to bring their dog to meet out newborn for the first time. We just told them no. Weird request anyway when i was recovering from childbirth , but especially since we have cats that aren't used to big energetic dogs. She wasn't particularly happy with it but not our problem!

“Just to let you know that when I bring baby home I’ll need to keep our house as a dog free zone. I hope that gives you time to prepare, and we can still see darling <<dog>> out on walks etc”.

When they question it: “oh, mud, hair and I am sensitive about hygiene and newborns at the moment “ and swiftly change subject.

Do not be subtle. Do not be nice about it. Do not apologise.

“Don’t bring the dog.” If they turn up with said dog “twatty dog has to stay in the car/it can’t come in.” They’re so selfish.

They probably will be miffed, that doesn’t mean it’s not a perfectly reasonable request.

Its up to them to sort it out frankly.

The same people who think their dogs should be in every shop, cafe and tourist attraction.

Absolutely,

Can't wait for you to visit but please leave the dog elsewhere.

You don't really need to worry about things being sterile for the baby. He/she won't be able to hold toys for a few months, 3-4 monthsish I'd say.

Can't you let them bring dog but shut it in the kitchen or another room? Or don't let them bring it at all. Your choice who comes in your house - it will not be pristine with a newborn around, anyway.

Is this the parents parents or the parents grandparents ?

If it's the parents grandparents I wouldn't be expecting them to visit often anyway ?

Be clear, very clear, and no nonsense about until baby is older or anything.

If they don't agree, they don't visit and will see baby when you visit them.

You're going to have to be direct about it

This.

My newborn son came home with me to a small holding with dogs, pigs, chickens and goats. I did not spend my days sterilising things and actually I don't know any of my farming friends with babies that did. They've all survived (no health issues or allergies) and loved growing up with animals.

Now that the baby is arriving, my house isn’t going to be hosting dog visitors anymore.

i Did this with shoes in the house. I offered to buy frequent guests designated slippers or store house shoes of their choosing if they wanted something special.

My mil still talks about how fussy I was when dd was young, but they complied.

Did you wrap the baby in sterilised bubble wrap with a separate oxygen supply as well?

Stop worrying about how other people will feel when what you're politely asking is entirely reasonable. If they get "miffed", that's on them.

I agree with everyone saying that being subtle isn't the answer.

I suggest you tell them not to bring the dog at all and don't agree to any "dog stays in the kitchen" type things because it will not happen.

You can absolutely say you don't want any dogs in the house it is perfectly reasonable and normal and people who don't ask permission are rude.

I love our dog but I never feel the need to bring her visiting with me unless she's been specifically invited. I certainly wouldn't being her around someone else's new baby and I feel no need whatsoever to bring her into cafes or shops.

Don't be subtle, make excuses or have conversations, just tell them not to bring the dog. If they ask why tell them you don't want the dog there, that's why, end of. If they bring the dog tell them you specifically said not to bring the dog and you'll see them another time, without the dog. Make it a very firm boundary now.

Ah this is tricky then, if they are providing childcare then it's less reasonable to expect them not to bring their dog as it may not be used to being on its own for long periods.
Could you bring DC over to them in future if you need them to babysit?