What if you are not a Performance Parent but you have "THAT" kid?!

[PyongyangKipperbang]

On the back of the PP thread.
I have never been a PP but there was one time that I was probably thought of as one and I die at the memory.

I will preface this by saying that DD2 is/was officially gifted, she is an adult now and storming her way through her chosen career, she is just....yah know, clever! Very proud of her obviously but when she was a young child especially, she could be excrutiating to be the parent of! She is (Borg name) Three of Six, and she is the only one to do this to me!

We had been to France on holiday, nothing flash (saved for two years for a Keycamp job) but we all loved it. We arrived back at midnight and I took her and DD1 with me to Tesco next morning as we had bog all in. Both wanted to wear their Disney dresses (yes we did DLP but Parc Asterix was waaaaay better) and I had done all the driving in one day back from Paris, frankly I was too fucked to care. So me, Cinderella (10) and Snow White (5) are going around Tesco and Snow White decides she is only going to talk in French so it feels like we are still on holiday. Cute but frankly annoying, not least because she just seemd to pick up french easier than you or I can work out our new mobile phone. I played along as I speak French but really couldnt be arsed so tried to distract as you do "Who can find the baked beans first" and all that, DD1 played along as she was eye rolling too.

Then I think "Aha!!!!.....DD2, look some Pain au Chocolate like we had on holiday, shall we get some? You can get them and put them in the bag"

She said, top of her voice "OH NO MUMMY!!!!! THEY WONT BE ANYTHING LIKE THE ONES WE HAD IN PARIS!!!".

The ones we had in Paris were nice yes, but they were still from a fucking supermarket! And I only bought them because I got lost in the massive place and gave up as we were tight on parking!

Little arsehole got me side eye the whole fucking walk of shame to the checkout.

DD2 is now in her 20's and I have never thought that there is a decent way to not look like a dick parent in this scenario, apart from giving her a flick a thwart the earhole (Copyright Terry Pratchett) and tell her to stop being a twat!

Is there and I missed it?!

Should add that I adored her then and do now before anyone says I dont, and that this story is part of the family archive of "oh do you remember when" most of which relate to me!

That's actually quite funny, the OP's would probably have been funny if it weren't peppered with humble bragging, which just makes it come across as mildly nauseating.

I found that hysterical, I’d of said ‘ what are you talking about you’ve never even been to Paris’ and ran to the nearest checkout.

What a strange post. Are you okay hun?

These threads always go the same way. Anyone who criticises the OP for their insufferably long try hard post is a meanie or a weirdo. Backed up by a similarly naff anecdote about items available in most supermarkets?

My kids speak two languages (Scandi language), and when we’re out as a family and talk we all swap languages all the time. Their dad speaks in one language and they reply in another. Or sometimes mix them. They are in their 20’s now, and it never occurred to us that people would look at us.

Performance parenting is obvious. DC looks confused and rabbit in headlights as their caregiver enters amateur dramatics mode. Presumably the ‘ideal parent’ internal monologue on loud speaker.

It’s not speaking with their DC in public, which most parents do, it’s the opposite of engagement and poor role modelling.

While is annoying for everyone including their DC, I see it as a potential red flag wondering how the narcissistic parent behaves towards them behind closed doors?

Everyone should dress up as a princess and moan about our crap pain au chocolat (and the price of everything post Brexit).

Hah that was me as a child, constantly pretending to be a dog or wolf (in my case it was inspired by Due South rather than 101 Dalmatians)

I should try this my French may improve.

No sense to you maybe. To me it was a very well piece of writing about a hilarious situation and I think OP was hoping to get some similar stories back. Maybe you don't have funny memories to look back on, especially with children.

I have plenty of memories to look back on with my DD that are actually funny. If that’s the best that OP has then I feel very sorry for her.

This 200%

200%

Sad isn't it ?

Tell your Dad he made a lot of people laugh with this story. One member asked if others had had a humour bypass today - I think he was right to ask. I have 4 children rough up in Africa with 1 nanny each, cooks, gardeners, laundry ladies, cleaning ladies, security guards and it goes on. For years the 'cook always says' comments made me cringe then I though F... everyone who looks askance, they're only jealous !

So, play the game and share? Please !

Was this written by ChatGPT

I’m not here on MN to play silly games or bore people by boasting about how amazing my child is, never mind get into the whole ‘performance parenting’ debate which is also absolutely ridiculous. OP’s post screams of dramatics and desperation in an attempt to be amusing, which like most people with half a brain I don’t find funny, just sad. It was a total non-story which to be frank I think is bizarre that she finds it so memorable.

Anybody who disagrees is being accused of being miserable. Say what you like, but I’m still not laughing

I enjoyed your post OP . Some
pelple are miserable here today.

Exactly, and FYI Waitrose frozen pain au chocolat are lovely!

Eh? What's your point?