What if you are not a Performance Parent but you have "THAT" kid?!

[PyongyangKipperbang]

On the back of the PP thread.
I have never been a PP but there was one time that I was probably thought of as one and I die at the memory.

I will preface this by saying that DD2 is/was officially gifted, she is an adult now and storming her way through her chosen career, she is just....yah know, clever! Very proud of her obviously but when she was a young child especially, she could be excrutiating to be the parent of! She is (Borg name) Three of Six, and she is the only one to do this to me!

We had been to France on holiday, nothing flash (saved for two years for a Keycamp job) but we all loved it. We arrived back at midnight and I took her and DD1 with me to Tesco next morning as we had bog all in. Both wanted to wear their Disney dresses (yes we did DLP but Parc Asterix was waaaaay better) and I had done all the driving in one day back from Paris, frankly I was too fucked to care. So me, Cinderella (10) and Snow White (5) are going around Tesco and Snow White decides she is only going to talk in French so it feels like we are still on holiday. Cute but frankly annoying, not least because she just seemd to pick up french easier than you or I can work out our new mobile phone. I played along as I speak French but really couldnt be arsed so tried to distract as you do "Who can find the baked beans first" and all that, DD1 played along as she was eye rolling too.

Then I think "Aha!!!!.....DD2, look some Pain au Chocolate like we had on holiday, shall we get some? You can get them and put them in the bag"

She said, top of her voice "OH NO MUMMY!!!!! THEY WONT BE ANYTHING LIKE THE ONES WE HAD IN PARIS!!!".

The ones we had in Paris were nice yes, but they were still from a fucking supermarket! And I only bought them because I got lost in the massive place and gave up as we were tight on parking!

Little arsehole got me side eye the whole fucking walk of shame to the checkout.

DD2 is now in her 20's and I have never thought that there is a decent way to not look like a dick parent in this scenario, apart from giving her a flick a thwart the earhole (Copyright Terry Pratchett) and tell her to stop being a twat!

Is there and I missed it?!

Should add that I adored her then and do now before anyone says I dont, and that this story is part of the family archive of "oh do you remember when" most of which relate to me!

Omg there are some miserable f*rs on here, your post made lol 😂 and the princess outfits were a perfect touch

Clearly this is lighthearted and written with humour - I enjoyed it OP!

Also bewildered by the mean responses.

My DD did something similar aged about 6. We are vegetarian so have 'pizza and movie' Sundays instead of a Sunday roast, for which I make pizza from scratch. She went to a friend's house for a playdate and was given boxed pizza for dinner. When I arrived to pick her up, she confided in a stage whisper that she'd been told they were having pizza, but it wasn't proper. "I asked about how they made it Mummy, and they said it was store bought. I just don't BELIEVE in store bought pizza Mummy!"

I died a little inside, and had to cringingly say to the Mum that we often had ready made food but just not shop pizza!

I laughed, that’s a really sweet story. Does your DD remember?

@PyongyangKipperbang ignore the miseries, especially the people who can’t read properly as your dd was 5 not 10.
It’s just the sort of thing my dd would have done and did do.
Like requesting a wedge of lemon for her fish, she was 4!

So strange

OP is relating an amusing anecdote- have some posters had a personality bypass this morning?

Because it isn't that amusing? It's one tiny comment that may or may not have been heard by anyone else dressed up.to be this huge anecdote. It's just a bit "um, ok".

I’m not sure I understand the language issue, lots of children speak two languages it’s pretty much standard for immigrant families! Ditto the children in costume, very common in supermarkets.

I wouldn’t have thought anything of it really, children come out with all sorts of weird phrases ‘gifted’ and not! I honestly wouldn’t worry about it, especially after all these years!

It’s an anecdote (fine) wrapped up in a modern day brag kinda irrelevant to the story (set my teeth on edge).

The things some mumsnetters cringe at is very strange though. Plus the story is all about a child setting the agenda. Can't think of a time I've taken dc out in fancy dress. Wonderful that the dd picked up French easily and that mum can speak French back, not performing parenting but quite sensible and to be encouraged.

but you totally are a performance parent - look at this post!

I can top this OP, unfortunately, and I was the child in question.

No TV signal in our local area, so we'd been borrowing tapes from the library. You'll be pleased to hear we were allowed one video each after spending time in the children's section reading Asterix.

Small selection of kiddy videos exhausted, my mum encouraged us to choose "a musical". Well, I picked Mozart's The Magic Flute. I grow Very Attached to my musical, and my parents decided to buy a copy. We duly go to WH Smiths where my mum gets me to make.y request of the shop assistant.

The man (probably actually 18) digs a copy out, only for me to loudly announce, 'Oh not that performance!"

I was three.

Gosh, people are deeply unpleasant on here. I really enjoyed your post Pyongyang. No words of wisdom though I'm afraid 😄

The comment could have been a funny story. It’s the irrelevant extras that let us know that OP is ‘that parent’.

‘she is an adult now and storming her way through her chosen career.’

‘(yes we did DLP but Parc Asterix was waaaaay better)’

I love mumsnet for this stuff though. 😅

The closest was when my brother was in a fancy pub and liked the snacks they were selling, so he bought a few little bags of saucissons secs and my son ended up trying and liking them. He was 2 or 3 at the time.

For months, every time we were out and snacks were being eaten, my son would see me digging a rustling bag out and say "Oh yay! Saucissons secs!" Nope. Quavers again.

It sounds like you are seeing everything through the lens of your daughter being gifted. It is not unusual for a child to be bilingual. Plenty of children grow up with parents who speak more than one language to them. In most countries all five year olds speak the language of their home country and English.She had just eaten very tasty pain au chocolat in France and was sad that the ones in your local Tesco would not be so nice. Nobody in that supermarket will have batted an eyelid.

Also, you say she is gifted, but she is twenty and she has already started her career. Did she go to university early?

You were ashamed because your dd mentioned in public that you had been to Paris? Or that you had eaten pain au chocolat in Paris? Or that she said it while wearing a Disney dress?

Not sure I get the point. I also don't get the relevance of your dd being gifted. Surely any kid who has been to Paris might have made a comment like that?

Or was it the French speaking that you found embarrassing? I get how that might look like performance parenting, but it seems that you went along with it by speaking Fench in response, so you probably were being a bit of a "performance parent" tbh. But so what, it was years ago in any case....

The daughter part of the anecdote was amusing and I can totally understand how those things become a long-standing family anecdote (apparently at around the same sort of age I once loudly stage-whispered to my mother that another lady on the bus was “wriggling like I do when my knickers are stuck in my bum” 🤦🏻‍♀️) but the “don’t judge me, Parc Asterix was so much better than Disneyland Paris, don’t worry I’m still firmly MC!” subtext was more 🙄than 😂.

I think the story is funny. The daughter was only 5 and spouting away in French and comparing the food. People are quite nasty here sometimes.

@PyongyangKipperbang Haha this has made me laugh. Total cringe! It's like those anecdotes that people hear said in Waitrose by the pretentious children. Love it.

My god, there’s a sense of humour bypass with some posters!

I thought it was funny.

I was offered some wine at a street party thing some years back, only for my young DC ago reply to the poor server “well mummy can’t abide Chardonnay, so it depends what it is?”

i was mortified. Yes, in my family it’s a running joke that I like “ABC wine- anything but Chardonnay” but that’s an inside joke!!!

I doubt anyone noticed at the time. Lots of kids speak two languages and go on holiday to France.

If I were embarrassed by my child loudly speaking French in a supermarket I'd have quietly but firmly told them to lower their voice and to use English.

This is the social media hybrid of “performance parenting” 🤣 it’s a bit of a tired trope now.

The “I don’t give a fuck if my children wear fairy wings and wellingtons to the supermarket, I’m cooler than your average mum- I’m super harassed, muddling along, I hate parents that show off.
Although did I mention that I have sacrificed myself on the altar of motherhood, we have multiple child friendly holidays a year, and my children are gifted and talented, and bi lingual? It’s soo embarrassing!”