What if you are not a Performance Parent but you have "THAT" kid?!

[PyongyangKipperbang]

On the back of the PP thread.
I have never been a PP but there was one time that I was probably thought of as one and I die at the memory.

I will preface this by saying that DD2 is/was officially gifted, she is an adult now and storming her way through her chosen career, she is just....yah know, clever! Very proud of her obviously but when she was a young child especially, she could be excrutiating to be the parent of! She is (Borg name) Three of Six, and she is the only one to do this to me!

We had been to France on holiday, nothing flash (saved for two years for a Keycamp job) but we all loved it. We arrived back at midnight and I took her and DD1 with me to Tesco next morning as we had bog all in. Both wanted to wear their Disney dresses (yes we did DLP but Parc Asterix was waaaaay better) and I had done all the driving in one day back from Paris, frankly I was too fucked to care. So me, Cinderella (10) and Snow White (5) are going around Tesco and Snow White decides she is only going to talk in French so it feels like we are still on holiday. Cute but frankly annoying, not least because she just seemd to pick up french easier than you or I can work out our new mobile phone. I played along as I speak French but really couldnt be arsed so tried to distract as you do "Who can find the baked beans first" and all that, DD1 played along as she was eye rolling too.

Then I think "Aha!!!!.....DD2, look some Pain au Chocolate like we had on holiday, shall we get some? You can get them and put them in the bag"

She said, top of her voice "OH NO MUMMY!!!!! THEY WONT BE ANYTHING LIKE THE ONES WE HAD IN PARIS!!!".

The ones we had in Paris were nice yes, but they were still from a fucking supermarket! And I only bought them because I got lost in the massive place and gave up as we were tight on parking!

Little arsehole got me side eye the whole fucking walk of shame to the checkout.

DD2 is now in her 20's and I have never thought that there is a decent way to not look like a dick parent in this scenario, apart from giving her a flick a thwart the earhole (Copyright Terry Pratchett) and tell her to stop being a twat!

Is there and I missed it?!

Should add that I adored her then and do now before anyone says I dont, and that this story is part of the family archive of "oh do you remember when" most of which relate to me!

"I find it increasingly dull" lol 😂

Many people on that specific thread do. They sound like joyless twats tbh, talking to children should be encouraged not slagged off.

Of course. If a parent has sufficient issue with
their children's conduct in public that they are embarrassed by it, then asking them to stop seems a rather obvious solution to me.

Any parent who is embarrassed by their child speaking a foreign language shouldn’t be a parent imo. It’s something to be encouraged and praised

Op herself referred to her child as a "little arsehole", no doubt in an attempt to be hilarious.

This sort of thing is entirely normal in our local Waitrose

Why would you not just play along and converse with her in French?

You could have talked quietly together.

Fwiw, I thought the anecdote was well written and funny. I remember being asked about the birds and bees in the longest ever supermarket checkout line one day many years ago.

I doubt the OP is coming back

what a lovely and funny memory for you! But nobody cares, sorry!

Actually, some of us do. Sorry!

Seriously, why take the time to write & be mean to the OP? No doubt she feels like shit now. No wonder she hasn't come back.
Some of you are absolutely miserable.

I thought your post was funny and I don't even have kids!

I get it OP. There's really only two things you could have done in this scenario to redeem yourself. Either grab and wave about a huge share bag of sweets and say, "Never mind, you can have these as a snack on the way home" or pretend you meant Paris Las Vegas.

In your opinion, and in mine too. (Though I'm sure its equally beneficial to speak French quietly in Tesco as it is at top volume, so the children's learning shouldnt be hampered by being asked to lower their voices.) However, the OP I'm responding to purports to have felt embarrassed by it, and it has a ready solution. I just pointed out the solution.

OP posted on AIBU. If she didn’t want opinions then she shouldn’t have posted it!

i had very talkative children who were very eloquent and had a good vocabulary for the age. i'm sure some of the conversations i had out and about with them brought out the judgy pants in some. there were days when i wish my kids would just be quiet as my brain wanted to implode with the constant chatter but i just carried in like parents do, replying, answering questions and generally engaging with them.
although there is one memorable moment of embarrassment. when we lived in our leafy london borough the local Boots sold little sushi snack packs that one of my children took a shine to so i would buy them for him sometimes. we then moved north to a small town and the local argos was next to a Boots. this Boots didn't sell the sushi snack packs. i was stood in the queue in argos trying to explain to my disgruntled 3 year old that we would look somewhere else for a snack once i'd collected the item but he was going to have to wait. he shouted at the top of his voice 'but mummy, i want sushi!' i did get stared at by one or two folk and felt hugely judged for the pomposity of this small person next to me because it was clearly all my own fault!

"For the LAST time . Stop speaking in French Kadee-Mae or we'll be having Turkey Twizzlers for tea"

Sarcasm whooosh

Bloody hell, this place!! I thought your post was funny, op. And it reminded me of the time we took three year old ds to Macdonalds and he loudly asked for a prawn Marie Rose baguette.

But…but…whether posters think it’s a good example or not it isn’t ‘performance parenting’….it’s ‘kids say the funniest things’

Performance parenting refers to when the parent is making a song and dance around their offspring, not when the child does something.

It sounds a sweet family story OP, but the only performance parent element about it is telling it to people outside the family circle for whom it’s a total non event…..

Glad someone else can see the irony here!

Lots of posters “mortified” that the general public looked at them but going to some lengths to describe a parenting event to an online audience and be favourably judged. 🤣

It pays to realise that although your children are the centre of your world, they’re not exceptional in the grand scheme of things and there is no “audience” to worry yourself about.

Exaggerating the reaction of a crowd lends itself to the comedy value of an anecdote but I think it’s been done too often on social media to be hilarious.

The issue is it wasn’t sarcasm, and some posters genuinely do think that you shouldn’t speak to or converse with your kids in public…
MN never fails to amaze

Are you new here? I find it tediously predictable.😂

I find @PyongyangKipperbang ‘s posts quite witty usually but groaned at this one I’m afraid.

I probably look like one..i have conversations with my LO in public...she can't talk yet...

But before her..i just looked like a nutter talking to myself..

I used to not be able to go outside (anxiety) i have a chat to ease my nerves and distract myself..

Most likely irritates people who don't understand the backstory..but i would rather go outside and take my LO to a park and get fresh air then appease a bunch of strangers i will never see again and hide in my living room.

People jump the gun a lot and make assumptions and prejudge on a 5 min snippet of a family without knowing the reality.