What if you are not a Performance Parent but you have "THAT" kid?!

[PyongyangKipperbang]

On the back of the PP thread.
I have never been a PP but there was one time that I was probably thought of as one and I die at the memory.

I will preface this by saying that DD2 is/was officially gifted, she is an adult now and storming her way through her chosen career, she is just....yah know, clever! Very proud of her obviously but when she was a young child especially, she could be excrutiating to be the parent of! She is (Borg name) Three of Six, and she is the only one to do this to me!

We had been to France on holiday, nothing flash (saved for two years for a Keycamp job) but we all loved it. We arrived back at midnight and I took her and DD1 with me to Tesco next morning as we had bog all in. Both wanted to wear their Disney dresses (yes we did DLP but Parc Asterix was waaaaay better) and I had done all the driving in one day back from Paris, frankly I was too fucked to care. So me, Cinderella (10) and Snow White (5) are going around Tesco and Snow White decides she is only going to talk in French so it feels like we are still on holiday. Cute but frankly annoying, not least because she just seemd to pick up french easier than you or I can work out our new mobile phone. I played along as I speak French but really couldnt be arsed so tried to distract as you do "Who can find the baked beans first" and all that, DD1 played along as she was eye rolling too.

Then I think "Aha!!!!.....DD2, look some Pain au Chocolate like we had on holiday, shall we get some? You can get them and put them in the bag"

She said, top of her voice "OH NO MUMMY!!!!! THEY WONT BE ANYTHING LIKE THE ONES WE HAD IN PARIS!!!".

The ones we had in Paris were nice yes, but they were still from a fucking supermarket! And I only bought them because I got lost in the massive place and gave up as we were tight on parking!

Little arsehole got me side eye the whole fucking walk of shame to the checkout.

DD2 is now in her 20's and I have never thought that there is a decent way to not look like a dick parent in this scenario, apart from giving her a flick a thwart the earhole (Copyright Terry Pratchett) and tell her to stop being a twat!

Is there and I missed it?!

Should add that I adored her then and do now before anyone says I dont, and that this story is part of the family archive of "oh do you remember when" most of which relate to me!

@Pickles2023 Anybody who judges you for talking to your own child in public speaks volumes about their horrible attitude - don’t even give them the time of day! You’re only doing what’s right and normal for your child’s development and speech

Social anxiety by definition is a social phobia causing you to feel negatively judged or scrutinised by everyone in public.

Its not the truth and it’s worth bearing in mind that social media forums are not an accurate representation of public opinion.

Gosh I just read this as chatty and funny, was not ready for the attacks! I'm feeling a bit wobbly today, should probably stay away from aibu

I totally get you OP! My DDs frequently make me feel like the epitome of Highgate Mum. My DS observed when they were 6 & 7 that I was raising the female equivalent of Frasier ans Niles Crane 😂 I’m dying for the competitive offspring wars!

Seems like she's dramatic and intelligent, her personality and loves to absorb and act out what she experiences. Not embarrassing at all, let her enjoy it. She is clearly thriving, most important she is happy 😊 We're all different, she sounds like a lot of fun and has her own mindset, not everyone will appreciate it but those who do will be her friends. X

I’ve never found pain au choc in U.K.as good as in Paris (supermarket or not), so to me that’s just true!

Performance Parenting is grating…DC often say embarrassing things out of context, but this wasn’t that embarrassing, was it?!

There was a lot of unnecessary context which side tracked me a bit, eg Disney Land Paris vs Asterix World.

Does DD find the anecdote funny?

Stealth boast.

FFS. That is all.

I had a massive laugh at your post, OP, because I was "THAT" kid! The only thing I can say is to not do what my mother did. I love my Mum, but she's not particularly intelligent and is one of those women who relied on her looks and 'feminine wiles' (i.e. ability to manipulate) her whole life. It's driven her crazy that I would always become the centre of attention in social settings, mainly because I like to have in depth conversation with people because I'm genuinely curious about people's experiences and how they think. Mum is a 'don't air your dirty laundry in public' person and, frankly, about as deep as a puddle. Anyway, she's constantly put me down or 'put me back in my place' and it's caused a lot of self confidence issues on my part.

Embrace your daughter's quirkiness and be proud of her (which you already obviously are). Some of us are just born show offs! 😁

When our granddaughter had to stay with us she was 3, we were shopping and I asked her if she liked mussels, we knew she'd had salmon, her loud reply was 'No but I like lobster'. OH said let's find the fish fingers!

Sometimes you can be reminded of something you or your child have said or done that has made you cringe, and you tend to want to forget about it. I am just guessing OP has been reminded of this cringeworthy (to her) episode of her child being performing/ show offy, and wondered if we have been equally embarrassed by something our children have said that appear to be showing off. I Cant think of anything off top of head but my second one loved Karaoke so whenever he got opportunity he would have a go he was around 8-12 and he had mine and my mums singing voice 🤣 I would never put him or me on x factor and I quite often found myself cringing in corner at his singing, also wishing I had the confidence he had bless him. He was so sweet and was proud of him to want to do it didn't have heart to discourage,

There are some weird folk on here… and the OP isn’t one of them…

Get a grip

OP - I thought it was funny.
It would have been PP if you'd then said 'yes darling, shall we see if they have any escargots?'

It's hilarious how on the PP thread, not only nearly every poster knew one but they also had this innate ability to spot them in an instant, whereas on this thread everyone is pretending to have no idea what OP is talking about.

sorry OP, if it was supposed to be funny it wasn’t…

It also doesn’t make sense - if this whole conversation was in French then virtually nobody in Tesco would have understood it so so what.

So many mumsnetters seem intent on tearing others down.

There are some children who are "those" children, and it is to be encouraged and celebrated, even if anti-intellectualism is deeply ingrained into British culture as part of the hangover from days where putting yourself and your achievements down all the time was seen as the polite thing to do.

OP, I have those kids. One of them in particular. They want to work for NASA and, at the age of 7, read mainly non-fiction and have a keen interest in the Sciences. I have a degree in one Science and their father in a different Science.

We embrace our geeky nature and have science-based conversations in public (shock, horror) that could be seen as performance parenting if you were inclined to see the worst in people, rather than celebrating achievement. The younger child will also occasionally switch to speak a second language (my Western European mother tongue), so that it will probably look even more "extra".

Who cares? The people who do, who are not delighted that my ex husband and I are raising the next generation of Scientists, of which Britain is desperately short, don't matter.

We had a full-on nerd argument about flaws in the logic of the Pokemon universe at a packed bus stop yesterday. It was a bonding moment and I didn't give a shiny shit what others were thinking.

OP, be proud your children were keen to apply their experiences and are now obviously successful.

I love this.

Agreed. That Paris croissant bit was a standard heard in Waitrose anecdote. But the gifted child business is a bit odd to relate as a preamble.

Maybe she is competing with that hideous ‘Tilly’ thread recently where people were snorting out tea in apparent hysteria and fawning over the poster saying she should write books.

Don’t be disingenuous. It wasn’t about people talking to their children.

Of course you're being unreasonable, you know that. I know this is a bit of piss-take post, but nobody cares, seriously. Sometimes kids are precocious little pricks, but it's hardly surprising when we send them to schools that literally reward and value this type of behaviour. So, yes, we are the pricks. And I seriously doubt anyone noticed your daughter, except for the princess outfit on the 10yo - that's just nauseating.

Whoa, why all the hate?

Lovely anecdote OP. My kid was the opposite. She was obsessed with 101 Dalmatians and used to bark in public! Worse if I took her little best friend out too. They used to bark together.

The whole basis of the PP thread seems to be if you speak so anyone else can hear but your child and you dare look around the room etc you're a PP.