To ask if you have 'hired help'?

[BlackBean2023]

Just that really.

DH and I work full time. Good salaries. 2 children - youngest is 7 - and 1 dog. 3 bed detached house with a decent garden. DH does his bit but tbh we're both too knackered to prioritise housework and spend 4/5 nights and 1 weekend day each week getting DC to various clubs.

I can't keep on top of everything. I've spent 4 days cleaning the house but know it will be back to its usual state by next week. Every couple of months or so we spend a weekend (and an absolute fortune) blitzing the garden, it looks great for a week then back to weeds and untidy

I've costed up getting a cleaner for a couple of hours a week, and a gardener every fortnight and it would cost around £50 a week. We can afford it if we lose our dog walker (not essential as I work hybrid- she just saves me a couple of hours a week which tbh in the spring/summer I like doing myself anyway!).

DM has just made a comment about me being "born to have staff" which has got my back up. AIBU to think that lots of people who have FT jobs engage cleaners/gardeners/other household helpers to help them out??

We have a cleaner we would just live in a sty without her

We had a cleaner until Covid hit and can't quite afford it anymore. Our new tactic is to invite someone over every few weeks. Nothing motivates me more than the threat of guests descending on the house and seeing the state we're prepared to live in.

I'm childfree and single and WFH 4 days a week. On the day I work outside of the home I have someone who comes to see to the dog-they also pick up poo from the garden, do my vacuuming and any other housework jobs I ask for. If I had two salaries and children to think of I'd have a cleaner for definite! And I'd probably pay people to sort out the garden too.

I have a cleaner and someone to tidy the garden for a day a few times a year. Single parent to a teen, full time work and a PhD on the top of my job.

We’ve got loads of storage and are fairly clean and tidy but it’s nice to have someone clean the house every week. I’d rather do something else with those three hours a week.

No guilt here!

Weekly cleaner who also does ironing. I don’t have a garden big enough for a gardener but I do have a “patio lady” who comes a few times a year to sort out my patio pots and front garden.

We have no hired help. I work between 3 and 5 days a week, term time only. DH is full time. I have done 5 day a week stints for months at a time and find keeping on top of everything difficult then. We have 2 DC, 4 and 6. We have grandparents help with after school care 2 days a week and use breakfast and after school club the other days. I really value my 1-2 days off most weeks to enable me to keep on top of everything at home as Dh doesn't do much housework tbh. He cooks around 4 nights a week, empties the bins and sometimes does the dishwasher. That's about it. The weeks where I do 5 days a week, the house does get neglected but since it isn't every week, it doesn't bother us too much! A cleaner or gardener is a luxury we unfortunately can't afford.

Sahm of 4 weekly lady comes in to help 3 hours £50 a week and a god send

I am on sickness benefits so can't afford much but do get a cleaner to come once a fortnight for one hour as I just can't keep on top of things otherwise which then makes my health worse. I'd have her come more if I could afford it. I would hire this help if I was in your situation absolutely

I live outside Europe where help is much cheaper and it is normal for most households at all income levels to have full time help for cleaning and/or helping with kids. Both myself and DH work FT. When DC were infants/toddlers we had a whole team working 5 days a week FT: housekeeper/cleaner, day nanny, night nanny and chef. We lived in a compound with a full time gardener who’d look after all the gardens and communal areas. Now the DC are older we have a live-in nanny, driver and housekeeper, all work 5 days per week FT. We have a dog walker who comes in 5 or 6 days a week. Having hired help is not frowned upon/stigmatized here, it’s considered completely normal however much money you make.

I have a cleaner who comes in every two weeks. I would love her to come weekly
Though.
My dp said we don't need a cleaner However still wants to keep a gardener in the garden so he don't have to do it 🤣

I'm doing it!

My DM definitely meant it as a dig but that's not uncommon and sometimes I think it's jealousy that she perceives my life to be easier than hers at the same stage (financially I am much better off than my parents ever have been but my mum was. SAHM so didn't have work pressures- and doesn't understand them).

Thanks MN for being the voice of reason

I send my ironing out but live in a small cottage that I can keep on top of cleaning wise.

I have cleaners twice a week, a gardener for the big jobs and ongoing maintenance. (We have a large house and garden). I also have back issues so would struggle.

I don’t see them as any different to employing my PA. They help me out and that means I can focus on running my business which is more than full-time.

Edit. Cleaners also do ironing.

I have a cleaner once a week for three hours - and I don’t work - I have had a cleaner since my DD was born (DD is an adult now) it just makes life easier, especially when you work full time. Recently we moved and have a large garden - so we are considering a gardener.

We have cleaners in every week, dog walker on days have to be in office, and gardeners as and when they can be bothered to turn up. Both work full time and can afford it. But they would probably be the first to go if taxes went up or something like that

I’ve always prioritised a cleaner and sent my ironing out since my oldest was born. Over the years, I’ve added cook and driver (not in the U.K. any more)

We have a cleaner about once a fortnight, she’s amazing. We had a team of gardeners who came once last autumn, I loved it but it was quite expensive and DP was a bit stroppy about it. I know loads of people with cleaners, it’s a must have for us!

We have had a cleaner since DH and I first moved in together, aged 28.

We now have a cleaner/ housekeeper 2dats a week who does laundry, ironing, bed changes etc. And a gardener/ handyman 3 hours a week. Dog walker comes three times a week.

I work part time (4 days, school hours) and would much rather spend my spare time with my kids and DH, and don’t want to have arguments or play ‘who’s the tiredest?’ Re. Chores.

We have a gardner, and a window cleaner.
We did have a cleaner but we found they didn't really do an awful lot.
We use service washes at the laundrette when the washing pile becomes unmanageable.

We have a cleaner once a week and I take the ironing to an ironing place. No regular gardener but we do have a man who comes once a year to cut the hedges.

I don’t but definitely would have a cleaner if we could afford one!

When my parents did not have loads of disposable income my mum taught various musical instruments out of hours to pay a cleaner.

Her argument was she lived teaching and hated cleaning.

I also once knew someone working in hospitality on minimum wage who worked an extra 5 hour shift so she could outsource cleaning and ironing of 3 hours per week. She loved her job but hated household chores.

Two full time jobs, child, dog and all your downtime becomes household chores. If you can afford it do it, it’s no more of a luxury than a holiday.

Never had anything apart from paid childcare, even when the DC were young. We just managed. They're at uni now and I work pt so I don't feel it's needed as I've loads of spare time. Am also a bit of a control freak. Would rather do stuff myself and spend the money elsewhere.

When I worked full time, teen kids at home I had a cleaner a couple of times a week. Was lovely to come home knackered to a clean house.
Later on, in a smaller house on my own but still working long hours I’d have a cleaner in occasionally who’d blitz the house for me.

I’d say any help you can pay for is money well spent. A gardener may also give you advice on lowering the maintenance.

I second this. 3 hours a fortnight doing what it would take me a week to do. It also encourages us to be tidier - clear surfaces etc as I don't want stuff in her way while she's cleaning. That and a robot hoover/mop who also works very hard.