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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you have 'hired help'?

144 replies

BlackBean2023 · 22/02/2024 16:16

Just that really.

DH and I work full time. Good salaries. 2 children - youngest is 7 - and 1 dog. 3 bed detached house with a decent garden. DH does his bit but tbh we're both too knackered to prioritise housework and spend 4/5 nights and 1 weekend day each week getting DC to various clubs.

I can't keep on top of everything. I've spent 4 days cleaning the house but know it will be back to its usual state by next week. Every couple of months or so we spend a weekend (and an absolute fortune) blitzing the garden, it looks great for a week then back to weeds and untidy Blush

I've costed up getting a cleaner for a couple of hours a week, and a gardener every fortnight and it would cost around £50 a week. We can afford it if we lose our dog walker (not essential as I work hybrid- she just saves me a couple of hours a week which tbh in the spring/summer I like doing myself anyway!).

DM has just made a comment about me being "born to have staff" which has got my back up. AIBU to think that lots of people who have FT jobs engage cleaners/gardeners/other household helpers to help them out??

OP posts:
nokidshere · 22/02/2024 18:49

We are both retired now but our cleaner has been coming once a week for almost 20yrs! She's worth her weight in gold, I'll be gutted if she ever gives it up.

When the boys were smaller (2 of them) it really helped that on Thursday nights we had tidy up time, all those things that get put down during the week but not away, so the cleaner could clean properly and we still do that all these years later so there is never more than a weeks worth of 'stuff' hanging about.

Skykidsspy · 22/02/2024 18:51

Just don’t tell your mum. We have one fortnightly and it’s amazing, I don’t have to dust or properly clean bathrooms in between.

Just don’t tell your mum!

nottojog · 22/02/2024 18:52

Wouldn't be offended by that. What's wrong with the suggestion that you're born to have staff? It's like saying you were born to drive a Ferrari. She may have meant it as a dig but I'd take it as a compliment. Successful, hard working family able to get people in to lighten the load - something to be proud of, I'd say.

Ignore her.

IggOrEgg · 22/02/2024 18:54

We currently have a gardener who comes every 2-3 weeks. We’ve a large garden and just not enough time to keep it fully in check! I’m looking at getting a cleaner too, we have a toddler, run our own business, husband works all the hours god sends and we’ve a farm too so I am finding keeping up with everything a bit of a push at the moment!

PS my ma says that sort of thing about me… she doesn’t mean it in an offensive way (I don’t think!) so maybe she’s not meaning to offend yiu?

OhMyChickenDinner · 22/02/2024 18:54

If you both work full time and have spare money, I can’t think of a better way to spend it than buying time back from jobs you don’t want to do.

TheFlis · 22/02/2024 18:56

We have a dog walker, a regular window cleaner and a guy who keeps the lawn in good condition in summer. We used to have a cleaner and I will be looking for a new one when we finish the work we are doing on the house. No shame on it at all, it keeps people in flexible jobs! Every cleaner and dog walker I have ever had worked around their kids school hours and it suited them perfectly.

Yazo · 22/02/2024 18:56

We both work FT but clean our own house and do our own gardening and lawn mowing. Each to their own but I don't like the idea of paying someone to clean up after me.

Jingleballs2 · 22/02/2024 18:57

I have been debating a cleaner for some time. Mainly because I really hate cleaning 🤣 when people say they have someone for a couple hours a week or fortnightly even.. what sort of jobs do you have them do?

CCLCECSC · 22/02/2024 18:57

We have both. It's not cheap but I like to see it as time well spent, and time I get back to do more fun things.

Chanxex · 22/02/2024 18:57

I have a cleaner 6 hours a week who also does my ironing and a gardener every 2 weeks. I’ve also got a dog walker once a week and a handy man as and when I need him. I get my oven and carpets cleaned once a year and a window cleaner once a month

CCLCECSC · 22/02/2024 18:59

Jingleballs2 · 22/02/2024 18:57

I have been debating a cleaner for some time. Mainly because I really hate cleaning 🤣 when people say they have someone for a couple hours a week or fortnightly even.. what sort of jobs do you have them do?

Hoovering, mopping, dusting, cleaning all surfaces in kitchen and bathrooms.

windyworriednight · 22/02/2024 18:59

It does seem so expensive these days. I understand self employment of course but it’s no longer ‘cut out a takeaway’ and afford a cleaner.

Beezknees · 22/02/2024 18:59

Nope. Completely lone parent, work full time and never had hired help, do my own cleaning cooking and everything.

Do what you like, it's your money! I didn't find it particularly hard so never felt the need but I wouldn't judge anyone that did. Why not.

Mindlesspuzzles · 22/02/2024 19:01

We have a gardener every 2 to 3 weeks , with a gap in winter. Mainly to mow the lawn and blow the leaves out. Its a reasonable sized garden and I reckon its worth it when I think of the cost of buying a decent mower (we'd need a powerful one .

laclochette · 22/02/2024 19:04

If you can afford help round the house why wouldn't you? I pay people to do my accounting, to fix the car, to cut my hair, why not get them to do the cleaning if you have the budget, is my attitude. I work hard and I have no desire to spend my time out of work doing more housework when I could pay a professional to do it.

Wakeywake · 22/02/2024 19:04

We've had a cleaner even before having kids, it's money well spent. We had a gardener for a while but I actually missed gardening so that didn't last long - but our garden isn't huge.

Ithinkitstimeforbed · 22/02/2024 19:04

CCLCECSC · 22/02/2024 18:59

Hoovering, mopping, dusting, cleaning all surfaces in kitchen and bathrooms.

Show quote history

All of this. I still vacuum, do the kitchen surfaces and cupboards, bathroom sinks and loos daily and any other cleaning that’s needed, the cleaner cleans the bathroom thoroughly, mops, dusts everywhere, changes the bedding for us… basically she does the deep clean and we just keep on top of it.

laclochette · 22/02/2024 19:11

@CCLCECSC Hoovering, mopping, dusting all surfaces (she even does the top of the picture frames!), cleans loo/bathroom and kitchen, occasionally does the fridge, changes the beds, whatever ironing is there that day (I do little bits throughout the week but it reduces that need a lot).

JustMarriedBecca · 22/02/2024 19:11

Cleaner
I don't buy clothes that require ironing
Window cleaner
Odd jobs man
Gardener

Both work full time.

I've had a cleaner since I graduated University to be honest. I keep things tidy. The cleaner then cleans.

I'd rather get divorced and sell both kids on ebay than lose the cleaner.

SnapdragonToadflax · 22/02/2024 19:23

We have a cleaner every other week. It's £37 and she's amazing, she can get done in two hours what would take me five hours. And she does it better than I ever could.

It means the house is always in a reasonable state if someone comes over without warning, and leaves me time to do other stuff like decluttering which otherwise never gets done (both work full time and have a five year old).

I would rather do without a lot than lose the cleaner. Gardening is my main hobby so I don't need help with that, in fact the cleaner allows me more precious gardening time 😂

Shetlands · 22/02/2024 19:23

Good grief, have a cleaner if you want one and can afford it! Anyone else's opinion doesn't matter (even if it's your mother!). When I worked long hours and ran a busy house with children at home I had a twice weekly cleaner, a weekly ironer & laundry help, a monthly gardener and during the week we ate ready meals from M&S, Waitrose or the local Deli because I loathe cooking.

Obviously that reduced the disposable income but I prioritised my sanity and cut down on other 'luxury' things so we didn't go into debt. Give yourself a break!

loopyloolou · 22/02/2024 19:23

We both work full time but not in high paid jobs as public sector, but having a cleaner come in for 2 hours a week is a godsend. A lot less stress and now no petty arguing about who is doing what !

LBOCS2 · 22/02/2024 19:27

We both work full time. We have a cleaner who comes 3 hours weekly, a gardener who comes fortnightly, an annual oven and carpet clean, and I'm on the hunt for a window cleaner.

We had a cleaner when I was part time too. I hate cleaning, and didn't want to spend my time off doing it. I grew up with working parents and had a nanny/housekeeper when we were young then an au pair & cleaner when we were older. 100% outsource it.

SnapdragonToadflax · 22/02/2024 19:27

What our cleaner does: thorough clean of bathroom and kitchen; hoovers everywhere including bedrooms; mops floors downstairs and bathroom; dusts living room and stairs, and then does other bits if I let her know they need doing - things like windows, fridge, inside cupboards. She often manages to leave five or ten minutes early too - she's amazing.

I do usually have to do a tidy up the night before, if the house has descended into its usual chaos.

C1N1C · 22/02/2024 19:28

Weekly cleaner. The price of her frees up a day, free time is valuable.