To ask if you have 'hired help'?

[BlackBean2023]

Just that really.

DH and I work full time. Good salaries. 2 children - youngest is 7 - and 1 dog. 3 bed detached house with a decent garden. DH does his bit but tbh we're both too knackered to prioritise housework and spend 4/5 nights and 1 weekend day each week getting DC to various clubs.

I can't keep on top of everything. I've spent 4 days cleaning the house but know it will be back to its usual state by next week. Every couple of months or so we spend a weekend (and an absolute fortune) blitzing the garden, it looks great for a week then back to weeds and untidy

I've costed up getting a cleaner for a couple of hours a week, and a gardener every fortnight and it would cost around £50 a week. We can afford it if we lose our dog walker (not essential as I work hybrid- she just saves me a couple of hours a week which tbh in the spring/summer I like doing myself anyway!).

DM has just made a comment about me being "born to have staff" which has got my back up. AIBU to think that lots of people who have FT jobs engage cleaners/gardeners/other household helpers to help them out??

I have a fortnightly cleaner £120 a month

I also last year added a lady who basically just mows the lawn once a month. I hate doing it and she does it much nicer and quicker. That's £25 a month.

Both are well worth it for the happiness they bring me.

I'm single, live on my own but I have a cleaner, a gardener & my car is currently being valeted. Not the slightest bit guilty

I had a cleaner when I was single with no kids. And I paid a dude to mow the lawn.

We both work full time here, biggish house and 3dc (although one is at uni). We have a cleaner once a week for 4 hours, a gardener who comes once a month in the winter and once a fortnight in the summer, window cleaners once a month, oven cleaner twice a year, food shopping delivered, if I was bothered about ironing I’d outsource that too.
I will literally pay for anything to be done for me 😂
to be fair having the cleaner doesn’t negate the need for daily cleaning, it just means I’m not spending my weekends cleaning bathrooms and hoovering multiple sets of stairs. It means if I don’t get round to steaming the kitchen floor on a Sunday it’s not the end of the world.
Dh does a bit in the garden but the gardener again just takes the pressure off.
window cleaner - well we couldn’t do that ourselves.

We outsource a few things; cleaner weekly for 3 hours, dog walker twice a week, gardener every 3 weeks, window cleaner monthly, our cars are valeted every 3 months.
It takes away the tasks we either don't like or don't have time to do, we prioritise family and social activities.
Don't let your DM make you feel inadequate for having different priorities

We don't. But my DH does half of the housework and not just 'his bit'.

Almost everyone I know has a cleaner where I live ....and lots of them are SAHM. I think I know one other person who doesn't have a cleaner.

It's a reasonably expensive commuter town and lots of people have a cleaner, Gardner, dog walker, car valeted, oven cleaner, etc etc.

I think part of the reason I don't is that I can subconsciously hear my mum saying it's lazy!

Like I said above I’m a stay at home mum, I’ve got one easy going 2.5 half year old (though he’s dropped his nap so I’ve lost my lunchtime break!)- we have a cleaner. I’m sure some people judge me as lazy for that but whatever. So IMO it doesn’t matter how many hours if you work, if you want a cleaner, get one!

Retired... Both of us.

Cleaner weekly

Ironing lady

Gardener every two weeks

We did have a dog walker but he died, the dog that is.

Oven cleaner.

We've had a cleaner for over a decade, when men people ask me why I tell them we have 3DC and work FT, tends to shut them up. We also have a window cleaner who comes every 6 or 8 weeks I think which is fab and not expensive. We have toyed with getting a gardener but haven't yet but it's easier to do the gardening ourselves now the kids are older and I like doing it once I get out.

FWIW with the garden you're probably best doing it little and often rather than leaving it to get overgrown then blitzing it and then ignoring it again. I know people say the same thing about housework but gardening is much more rewarding. Do just 15 minutes Sat and Sun every week and see it slowly improve.

I wouldn't think the majority in FT jobs have weekly help. It's expensive and if you are out at work the house isn't getting dirty. My grandmother has a fortnightly cleaner, but she is 90 and gets attendance allowance.

I have a window cleaner four times a year, they also do the hot water solar panel, and my landlord has paid for some shrubs to be cut back so I can stay on top of them with hand shears now.

We have a cleaner once a week. Really helps us out with two FT jobs and three kids. Really couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks about that. If you want a cleaner and gardener and you can afford it then go for and tell your mum to mind her own!

I couldn't survive without our cleaner.
Me and DH both work long hours, 4 nts/days of hobbies a week. My free time is for my 2 children.

Cleaner comes twice a week, best money we spend. She does the ironing too.

Tell your DM that sadly you weren’t born to have staff but you earn enough money to pay for staff so all is well. She sounds like a dick and the days when women had to take pride in scrubbing their own front step, faute de mieux, are long gone.

We've always had a cleaner even when I was on maternity leave. Still have a cleaner now both DDs are at university and I've pretty much retired. I intend to never clean a bathroom again. We also have a gardener as we both hate gardening and cars are valeted regularly by a mobile company. Our window cleaner also does most of our DIY stuff.

I think it's great that we're pumping money back into the local economy and have zero guilt.

We have a cleaner once a month who does a deep clean - the fridge, ovem, skirting boards etc, then we just keep on top of the rest of it.

DH and I both work Hybrid, but we kept the dogwalker 3 days per week, because it means that the dogs get a consistent mid-day walk if we get caught up in a work crisis.

Eh? If you can afford it, i would outsource as much as possible so you can enjoy quality time with your family. What's the joy in the drudgery of housework? Even gardening is more enjoyable if the garden is already looking nice

My sister works full time and has a cleaner, good on her. One thing though is that she had to remind her children that the cleaner was a cleaner, not someone who tidies their rooms.

As your youngest is 7 I am hoping that both your children tidy up after themselves, clean their rooms, laundry in the laundry baskets, shoes and coats put away etc. Children are very capable and we should introduce more and more responsibility as they get older. After a meal they should take their plates etc to the kitchen, wipe a table and dry it.

Definitely look at ways to make your free time more free, batch cooking, use a food processor to chop onions, grate carrots, grate cheese etc. I used a slow cooker, lots of recipe ideas on youtube for dump and go meals.

But absolutely hire a cleaner and a gardener. Ignore your Mum's comments. My retired FIL once made a comment about our lawn needing to be cut, I told him if it bothered him that much he could mow it for us, he soon shut up. And yes, he had a fucking gardener himself!

We have a weekly cleaner, monthly window cleaner, weekly car valet (perk at work), twice a year oven clean & a monthly gardener!

We also have weekly shopping deliveries and I spend most Sunday afternoons preparing meals for the week. I love cooking so this isn’t a chore and is usually an Autumn/Winter routine.

I also use Amazon subscribe & save for all toiletries, cleaning products, make up etc so we never run out of anything.

Our routine works perfectly for us and I wouldn’t give any of it up.
It means our evening & weekends are for us to do whatever we want.

I found getting a cleaner strange as it was not something I'd ever experienced before but there's no going back. It's the best thing ever.
I was a SAHM when we got ours. 2 kids under 2, I'm so shit at housework, the hours I put in don't seem to get anywhere and the piles mount up. We all have Audhd which definitely doesn't help. Don't hesitate.

I wouldn't like a gardener as I'm quite fussy, encourage some but not all 'weeds', and reckon I'd be a nightmare client. I can keep on top of that anyway.

Yes, I had a weekly cleaner for about ten years but cut it down to once a month about a year ago. I was a cleaner for 4 years during and after uni, my mum was a cleaner. I only have a one bedroom flat, but I really don't like cleaning...

I also had a personal trainer three days a week for a couple of years while I was doing serious weight training, but then I had an accident and had to give it up while I healed which took two years. I've also paid people to do odd jobs for me: the teenaged siblings of friends, students, etc.

We have 4 DCs although two are boarders.
We have a weekly cleaner, a live in housekeeper, nanny and a live out household PA. We run 3 of our own companies and life can get very hectic. We outsource as much as possible.

Weekly cleaner for 4 hours

After school nanny for two days. She is the BEST money I spend.

I’m a single mother, work in a very busy job.

I have a gardener once a fortnight and a cleaner once a week. When the kids were much younger I wanted someone every day but couldn’t afford it then. I could now but I’m trying to train my sons to clean up was rather than create it.

I'm a single parent working FT in an Exec level job, combined with a long commute for the majority of the Monday-Friday week.

I outsource everything possible, so that when I'm home, my DC are the focus of my attention.

I have a Nanny Housekeeper, Gardener and Window Cleaner. It makes my life sooooo much easier!