To ask if you have 'hired help'?

[BlackBean2023]

Just that really.

DH and I work full time. Good salaries. 2 children - youngest is 7 - and 1 dog. 3 bed detached house with a decent garden. DH does his bit but tbh we're both too knackered to prioritise housework and spend 4/5 nights and 1 weekend day each week getting DC to various clubs.

I can't keep on top of everything. I've spent 4 days cleaning the house but know it will be back to its usual state by next week. Every couple of months or so we spend a weekend (and an absolute fortune) blitzing the garden, it looks great for a week then back to weeds and untidy

I've costed up getting a cleaner for a couple of hours a week, and a gardener every fortnight and it would cost around £50 a week. We can afford it if we lose our dog walker (not essential as I work hybrid- she just saves me a couple of hours a week which tbh in the spring/summer I like doing myself anyway!).

DM has just made a comment about me being "born to have staff" which has got my back up. AIBU to think that lots of people who have FT jobs engage cleaners/gardeners/other household helpers to help them out??

We have a cleaner/ housekeeper twice a week - she changes bed, irons, does laundry, cleans and organises. I'm thinking about getting a monthly handyman as well to do all the odd jobs that add up.

I'm a sahm and have a cleaner, if you can then throw money at problems ! Makes life easier

‘There’s no prize given out at the end of your life for being a martyr and being tired and stressed needlessly when there are other options.’

This sums it up perfectly. If you can make your life easier, why wouldn’t you? No one bats an eyelid if you hire a painter and decorator, or a babysitter, or pay to have your toes done at the salon, but a cleaner? Who does she think she is!

We have a cleaner, PIL seems to think this means we are up our own arses, go figure.

I have a cleaner and gardener. I also have a multi-skilled tradesman who does all my DIY and I get my car serviced. For some reason it tends only to be the traditionally female roles (cleaning etc) that people stress about paying others to do. Getting tradespeople to DIY and car servicing (traditionally the male role in a household) doesn't cause the same overthinking for some reason. I wonder why!!!!

I’m the help!

My current job is after school childcare, but since they’re very self sufficient kids, I do all sorts around the house. I do kids washing, plus towels, tea towels etc. I sort out the kitchen, dishwasher, wipe the counters. And I feed the kids their dinner. They do have a cleaner for the actual cleaning.

I think everyone should outsource whatever they can afford to.

In the past, I’ve mostly been childcare for infants and toddlers, but those families also employed cleaners, lawn service, dog walkers etc. They wanted their limited free time to be mostly free.

This is 2024 and most young families have 2 parents working long hours.

We don't, but I see no reason in paying people to do stuff if you can afford to do so and it makes your life easier. Nobody is forcing people to work in those roles, so it's win-win as far as I can see - as long as you pay a fair rate.

I said to my DH when up for promotion it came with a cleaner and gardener. He could have my higher salary and he could accept we paid for that, or I’d stay where I was and do it myself. You can’t do it all.

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a cleaner. We have a large garden and have gardener as well. I work freelance and it’s around £50 per hour so just makes sense to pay someone to clean for 3 hours the amount I earn in 1. I still have to clean / tidy every day as like the house to be back to normal ready for the morning but cleaner does proper cleans of bathrooms / kitchen etc. I only work part-time so can’t understand it you work full time and can afford it why you wouldn’t outsource some of the work!

I have no help, two young kids and a full time job.

But.. my house is small, I work from home so can do bits in my lunch breaks, and I don’t like the idea of a cleaner coming in/can’t really afford it anyway. I do work my ass off cleaning and gardening, plus also am permanently redecorating, but I’m a quite high energy person so don’t mind that.

I have a cleaner for years (we all recently went to her daughter's wedding), a dogwalker, and used to have a landscaping service until DH decided he'd rather do it himself (I'd prefer to get someone back occasionally). I feel no guilt whatsoever.

I work part-time and have a cleaner.

I hate cleaning, I'm not great at it and ultimately I'd rather pay someone to do it.

She comes once a fortnight and I love her.

No. We could afford it and don't manage to keep on top of the house really. Almost everyone we know has some hired help as dcs go to private school so it's an affluent circle. Lots of nannies and full housekeepers. But I couldn't stand the intrusion. I'm a very private person and don't encourage visitors into our home. We don't have babysitters either, luckily our garden is low maintenance so no need.

Funny how he seems to think the "hired help" is for you and not him? Is he really doing the same amount of household tasks as you are?

I had a cleaner when my kids were small.

Full time job plus housework plus small kids does not fit.

We got a gardener as well.

This seems like a great thread to ask what people’s thoughts are on a cleaner when you don’t work full time? I only work part time but I am just not someone who wants to clean. I’d rather give up other luxuries to get a cleaner but I feel like I would be judged.

Why is it ok to pay someone to clean your car but not your house?

If you outsource jobs like these it gives others employment as well as saving you from doing things you either don't have time for or don't want to do.

Love my cleaner. I don't want to spend my free time cleaning, so I outsource it. You shouldn't feel guilty. If you have the money for it and you don't enjoy cleaning, why not?!

@windyworriednight my thoughts are that if you can afford it, why not have it. It shouldn’t concern anyone outside of your household what you choose to do with your money.

Yes! Cleaner, she is wonderful.

Engaging cleaners or gardeners (like dog walkers) helps out someone with a small business and frees up your time. I think people who didn't have help at home growing up find it hard to imagine. Both my grandmas actually worked cleaning houses, it's not "hired help" "staff" or "servants" they are people offering a paid service and earning a living like the rest of us. I cringed when friends were talking about their cleaner as a "little woman who does".

DH was reluctant at first as he's very capable but after a few weeks he saw the cleaner as an ally in the fight for a tidy environment.

Of course it's great to do your own cleaning too but everyone has different challenges, standards and choices about what to outsource and what to DIY.

Unfortunately we can't find a cleaner where we live now prepared to work round the dog so chaos reigns again.

Yeah. We have a nanny, cleaner, gardener, pool boy and someone who does the ironing.

Keeps the economy going 🤷‍♀️

We have a cleaner. I've been tempted to get a gardener, and am still considering it as I'm not a natural gardener.

Honestly if you can afford it, why not? You're providing employment for someone, and freeing your time up for other things.

No, we have very good salaries and both work full time but a lot of outgoings that means money is reasonably tight in any case. Most of our road has cleaners but I've always found it more stressful to prep for them and deal with the admin. It means we live in a mess but really it's not that important , and we clean when people come round!

Don’t listen to your DM—you both work full time, you can afford it, it will improve your quality of life.
i remember my Nan used to say that i was terrible at washing the floors and no one would marry me😂. I got a cleaner as soon as I got my first job at 21. I’m now 41 and would rather eat beans on toast than get rid of him.

We have a cleaner and it really does make a big difference.