Announce husbands cheating in WhatsApp group (other woman is in it and l will name her)

[TruthorDie]

I found out my husband cheated on me before we got married, invited the woman he cheated with to our wedding and she came to our wedding. He’s not especially contrite about it all, is unable (l think it’s unwilling but anyway) why he invited her and why she attended. He claims l suggested he invite her so he did! In reality she’s a friend of his and we invited all of our friends.

To put the boot in she got blind drunk at the wedding, was a total mess, l was pregnant when we got married and then the next day hassled us a lot to return the items she had left at our venue. My husband, the woman he cheated with and myself are all in a WhatsApp group together and lm contemplating announcing we are splitting up and why including naming her. Probably not very dignified but lm guessing quite satisfying. I’m pretty sure some people in the group know about the cheating as they were there when it happened but not everyone does

Hell yes you should announce this in the WhatsApp group chat! Make them look like the assholes they truly are! They ruined your marriage before it even started, why do you have to be the one “acting proper” after what they did! And for him to have done that and then marry you after? He deserves a lot worse than you announcing in the WhatsApp chat but that’s a start for sure. Tear him apart girl! I’m so sorry for the situation you’re in but you will get through it one day at a time and you will be so much happier without the dead weight of him.

Just bloody do it. Similar situation for me and I can’t tell you how much I wish I had! I really should have exposed the pair of them for the lying, rancid pair of cunts they were. I chose dignified silence but I so wish I hadn’t. The narrative they have both created is…..creative 🤦‍♀️ I really and truly hope I’m never in this situation again, but if I am? NUCLEAR will be my choice. Fuck it, it’s on them, not you. Expose them.

My first thought is do it. However you have a young family so I would suggest u get your home and finances sorted first, then see how you feel.

Dignity, at all times. Especially when you discover you made a really stupid mistake. I'm assuming you got married because you were pregnant? How long did you know him before you got pregnant? Did you invite her to the wedding because you were in competition with her and wanted to triumph or tell her to back off? Because you already knew he was sexually involved with her. Sounds like the most sorry, sordid marriage I've ever heard of.

First, I'm so sorry this happened to you, you didn't deserve it and your husband and his "friend" are sh*tty human beings.

This isn't a decision any of us can make for you. For the record I don't think you are unreasonable if you want to let your friend group know the kind of people your husband and his female "friend" are. You might get some satisfaction out of this (making the other woman look trashy), though it will probably be short lived.

But people are right when they say it will upset the balance of that friend group. If you dont mind that and you really want the truth out there, then go for it. You can always get new friends.

However if you really value these friends and peace in your life, you might not want to dredge up things that happened a long time ago. Chances are some people will think you're petty for doing so (I don't, but some of your friends might think so) and they may side with the other woman which might create rifts... ugh drama.

When a similar thing happened to me I immediately stopped talking to the other woman (who was a friend, not a close one) and all the friends that knew about the cheating episode. I cut them out of my life cleanly from one day to the next. They all wondered why but they didn't have the balls to tell me about the cheating, so f*ck those a-holes, they weren't real friends and didnt deserve any explanation from me. I moved countries shortly after and haven't been in contact with them for 15 years. Other people might value peace more and want to keep their friends (even if they feel betrayed by them).

You do whatever is right for you xx

Name and shame

I would absolutely message the group. When you split up everyone will be gossiping about it anyway so I believe they should all have the truth so there is nothing to gossip about. There’s no shame on your part, you are just putting the facts out there! Good luck with your divorce!

I think you’ll regret it in the end and I doubt you’ll get the reaction you expect. A better revenge is to walk away and don’t look back

You really should have bothered to read what she's said before posting. Together years; wedding postponed due to COVID; they chose to go through IVF in order to have a child together - and you call this a sorry, sordid marriage. Shame on you.

Nothing like people without basic comprehension skills posting nonsense!

you are totally not being unreasonable & since the WhatsApp is mainly his pals I would do it. I agree with an earlier poster that you should be factual letting them know you are splitting up because of this affair. Even as follow up do not get dragged into anything that could be perceived as slagging off in the group chat. You don’t want to say anything that portrays you as the ‘crazy ex’ but telling the facts shows him as the scumbag he is.

so has OP announced on WhatsApp or not?

It's reminding me of that subplot in Muriel's Wedding.

Did you just wake up today and decide to be so distastefully judgmental and presumptuous? Or are you just unkind as person? If you’d actually bothered to read what OP has written, you’d see that you’re wrong on every count.

AGREE, my husband chose dignified silence with his ex wife and now the whole world seems to think he had the affair 😂😂😂

Maybe do it as a sorta "intimation" -consequences of actions that were not your own,having discovered you were last to the party re-ex and whasap car crash you are in the unenviable position of sharing the details so there isnt any confusion or awkwardness when group inevitably hears of the split. no snide.just facts.

What flowerfairy wrote in her first paragraph “finding out that someone you love and trust has betrayed you and doesn’t even feel sorry for their behaviour is humiliating and incredibly damaging for your self esteem.” Reword it to suit you because i think this if perfect.

Throughout the Years, This Resolved My Marital Issues .

“Consider it a Gift: Polar Wright’s 365 Days Of Love’ This Book Transformed My Marriage.”

It might lead to unintended consequences. Also there is a perspective about going higher when people go lower. Be the better woman and maybe only add your marriage breakup not naming anyone.

Haven’t read the whole thread so sorry if I’ve missed this but to those saying OP will regret it if she announces in WhatsApp, why will she? If she’s simply stating the facts?

Very sorry you’re going through this OP

I think you should. Clear, simple, factual. Actions have consequences, they are about to find this out.

I agree with this.

I don’t think this will achieve the kick you want it to. But I understand why you Would want to do this.
I saw a video online and a woman was saying to not even tell your partner you know they are cheating. Don’t give them the satisfaction of it. But to break up with them face to face and give a list of reasons. All the reasons being things that they actually like about themselves 😂. Probably pettie and toxic but it made me laugh

You're better off with out him OP.

Do it OP, it'll make you feel better.

…and he waited until you were married, to rid himself of the guilt, whilst hoping you wouldn’t be able to face doing anything about it? What a manipulative shit!