Announce husbands cheating in WhatsApp group (other woman is in it and l will name her)

[TruthorDie]

I found out my husband cheated on me before we got married, invited the woman he cheated with to our wedding and she came to our wedding. He’s not especially contrite about it all, is unable (l think it’s unwilling but anyway) why he invited her and why she attended. He claims l suggested he invite her so he did! In reality she’s a friend of his and we invited all of our friends.

To put the boot in she got blind drunk at the wedding, was a total mess, l was pregnant when we got married and then the next day hassled us a lot to return the items she had left at our venue. My husband, the woman he cheated with and myself are all in a WhatsApp group together and lm contemplating announcing we are splitting up and why including naming her. Probably not very dignified but lm guessing quite satisfying. I’m pretty sure some people in the group know about the cheating as they were there when it happened but not everyone does

Yeah, apparently people like you, who think it’s fine to cheat on your partner as long as you’re not married….

FFS 🙄

I vote don’t do it and get your ducks in a row. Cool, calm and collected as best you can and get yourself as financially secure as you can. Gather your true friends and family around you and make plans for a life without him.

Chances are people in the WhatsApp group know so who cares about telling them. If it’s to shame them both I doubt they’ll be shamed.

Having been through something very similar I am so so sorry for you but you have an exciting future ahead, I promise.

I'm not sure I've understood. Do you mean you've literally just found out about something that happened before you married? How did you find out? Were you and your DH already together when it happened? How come he seems so relaxed about it? Perhaps he feels it's all in the past? Do you now have a child together? Is this the only reason you want to leave him? Is he a good father?
It just seems that you're very angry and looking to have a maximum impact but I'm not at all sure what this would achieve and I really agree with others that it rips apart your dignity.

l was pregnant when we got married

Honestly, pages and pages of drama.

Hope you kicked them both to the curb and are making a fabulous life for you and your child.

Wait so we can do whatever the fuck we want before we get married. Once the certificate is signed, then you're committed and having sex with others is a no-no?

I honestly don't know why people are saying don't do it, stay dignified. There is nothing dignified about staying quiet about it, as far as I m concerned. It is far more dignified to say something about it to your friends group. If any of them don't already know, they should get a heads up to the kind of people your husband and his "friend" are. Take the high ground by telling them straight!!

Bad idea! The Jeremy Kyle show comes to mind….

Do it, the least they deserve!! she probably won't mind, sounds like she is a heartless pyscho any way!

I say DO IT! What have you got to lose? Presumably, your marriage is now over. Why not announce the truth to people. You didn't do anything wrong. Finding out you have been cheated on is embarrassing & humiliating, which is why your ex will be banking on you saying nothing. By saying nothing, he gets to control the narrative & spin his bullshit.

I completely understand your feelings OP, finding out that someone you love and trust has betrayed you and doesn’t even feel sorry for their behaviour is humiliating and incredibly damaging for your self esteem. The feelings of incandescent rage are overwhelming, I wanted to murder my ex husband when I found out he’d been seeing someone behind my back especially when he wouldn’t admit it and told everyone I’d left him and taken our son! However, I knew I loved my son more than I hated his dad and so I sucked it up and was civil and went and had counselling to deal with the rage and eventually it got better and my son is healthier for it. Even though it was incredibly difficult to sit next to my ex at school concerts etc I did it so my son would never have to be stuck in the middle. He was 4 when we split and he’s 11 now and he knows why we split up as my ex and his now partner are still together. I can genuinely say now that I got the much better deal, I’m not bending myself in knots to try and keep someone happy who always looked for where the grass was greener and I’m not dealing with his issues of which there are many and I have a close relationship with my son. If you can bear it and I know it’s hard - be the bigger person for your child. Be civil - by all means say everything you hate about him to others outside of your child’s presence but remember how much more you love your child than you hate your ex and don’t put them in the middle. As they get older they work out for themselves who the problem parent is. Sending you lots of support and strength. He never deserved you xx

Out them OP!! I would absolutely do this and be very happy with myself for doing it, regardless of what other people in the group decided to do.

If any of them are real friends they will stand by you OP

I would also apologise to those who were not aware but tough shit to the ones that did know and kept it away from you - what else are they keeping from you?!

Rooting for you OP, stay strong 💕

Are they still in a relationship? Then most def break up with him and make a big announcement about it. If they split up, look at how your relationship is now and decide then what to do.

Absolutely, yes do it.

Yes this because she is not your friend.

What’s your support like outside the WA group? Who will be there for you and your child through the divorce? Helping you to care of yourself and little one.

I'm betting the 'you weren't even married' lot have their own history of infidelity pre-wedding. Absolute nonsense. Send the message then throw the phone at his head I say 😂😆

Have you done it yet OP?

A friend of mine announced her divorce on Facebook by tagging her then husband and the OW 😬

The amount of support she got was tremendous. I would go for it

If there is ANY chance of reconciling (you have a small child together so not seeing him again isn't an option) Ask yourself if he crawled back and promised you the earth would you give him a chance (personally think you're better without him. And if this is recent allow yourself time to cool down before deciding.
How long after the wedding did you find out? Did he confess or was he caught out?
If you do put it on the group I would be tempted to say you're divorcing dur to him being unfaithful with someone who knew he was about to be married to his pregnatnt partner but don't mention her, not to protect her but you will be able to tell from the responses who already knows, those who don't know will have no idea it's someone in the group and will respond with how terrible it is that he has done that with a homewrecker, they wont choose their words as they wont realise theyre in the middle at that point, that way she will get the backlash of her actions from others and will see the support you have and feel incredibly uncomfortable and you won't look like the woman scorned!

Fair point!

Exactly . I hope I’d reply - ‘thanks for letting me know. Let me know if you need any support.’

Hard if OW is someone you thought was a decent person and you like.

Not hard if you had your suspicions.

Assuming that he is the father of your child, it sounds like you may have to see him sometimes for at least the next 17 years. Although you are understandably angry now, it may not help in the long run. Do you really need to cut of everyone else in the What's app group and start again? Perhaps mention that you are separating but not why. If anyone asks, you could always PM them if you felt they needed to know. They will eventually all find out why this way but at least it doesn't leave you looking like the bad one.

Some of the comments on here have blown my mind.

You do you hun, drop that bomb then walk away with your head held high and heal.

Jesus Christ @Ariana12 at least read the OP's posts if you cba reading everyone elses

If they didn't already know it will be a huge source for gossip. How about saying you know he cheated but don't know who, make her squirm? Delete DH from group, hey do any of you friends know? Sorry, probably wouldn't do it but a little part of me would be tempted to.

What is with the "you weren't even married" posts? So everyone who isn't married in a long term relationship should expect less from their partners than those who are married? Then if they do get married any indiscretion in the years before should be forgotten about? Such an odd mindset.