Announce husbands cheating in WhatsApp group (other woman is in it and l will name her)

[TruthorDie]

I found out my husband cheated on me before we got married, invited the woman he cheated with to our wedding and she came to our wedding. He’s not especially contrite about it all, is unable (l think it’s unwilling but anyway) why he invited her and why she attended. He claims l suggested he invite her so he did! In reality she’s a friend of his and we invited all of our friends.

To put the boot in she got blind drunk at the wedding, was a total mess, l was pregnant when we got married and then the next day hassled us a lot to return the items she had left at our venue. My husband, the woman he cheated with and myself are all in a WhatsApp group together and lm contemplating announcing we are splitting up and why including naming her. Probably not very dignified but lm guessing quite satisfying. I’m pretty sure some people in the group know about the cheating as they were there when it happened but not everyone does

Actually I think you will find there is a certain type of poster here who holds the bonds of the marital relationship as deeply distinct to those of other relationships.

Particuarly on the love/limerance threads, there is a view that you can't love somebody unless you have been in a long-term, cohabiting, ideally marital relationship with somebody.

You also get it from women who's husbands have strayed. It is a real sticking point for some that their husband chose to have sex with an unmarried woman, when that woman couldn't possibly hold a light to the wife, due to her single status. While I get these women are hurt the internalised misogyny is eye-bleeding.

But yes, the flip side of this logic suggests they would be happy to give a groom-to-be a blowie in the car on the way to the church/register office to marry his pregnant fiancee, as apparently, that wouldn't count?

Ok I think one thing is very important here - you need to leave the chat when you do it.

Otherwise you just look pathetic and like you're waiting for a reaction. Everybody will feel uncomfortable and there will be a mass exodus.

But I would definitely definitely do it.

Feel uncomfortable? Mass exodus? Speak for yourself

Everybody will feel uncomfortable

That's the point!

I think the opposite, I'd be firmly staying on the chat. Perhaps the ex and the OW should leave...
Or perhaps your post would be the final one that fittingly kills the group because it can never be again in its current membership.

I’d do it in a heartbeat. Fuck dignity, pair of sneaky bastards. Why do you have to have dignity? Name and shame then leave the group.

Do it. Do it. Do it.

seriously though, they only benefit from you taking the high ground. Call them the heck out.

Does he know you want a divorce? If I were you I’d make him think you might be willing to reconcile and ask to get a post-nup written and agreed.

Once you decide to leave it can get really messy. A post-nup is likely to be a lot less traumatic as he’s more likely to be reasonable at this stage.

Andcl what exactly is going to come out of all that? Think ! Move on. Deal with your relationship and how it is now.

Interesting if they do stay together and she ends up being your child's stepmother. Have you considered this?

I would.Cold hard facts, no emotion. Get your side out, show your disgust and move on. But only if you are never gonna get back with him, and if you are cutting these people out who probably knew anyway

You were pregnant - does that mean you have a child together?

I think divorces are hard on kids and you might want to have an amicable split if possible. If you can be civil with each other, the child would be better off. Calling him out on the WhatsApp group won’t help you achieve that. You are moving on and ending this relationship - this is the important part. Doing all this won’t help you move on and will be worse rather than helpful for your mental health.

This. Keep dignified silence and don’t air your dirty laundry in public. You will be glad you did in the long run

I Would 100% do It, you’ll only get this one chance, and better to regret doing it (why?) than keeping schtum, which is highly convenient for them. In all honesty I’d go further and say your husband had the cheek to try and mitigate by saying she’s had flings with one or 2 others, put in brackets that they know who they are, to cause everyone else to steer clear of them, and cause some pain for the 2 of them.

Im so sorry this has happened to you

I think the only problem will be the inevitable backlash from people that will insist it is not true and that you are just being petty in a divorce. So, proof would be a good thing to post with it.

What are you thinking now, @TruthorDie?

I think it's fine to put it in the group and it gives you control of the narrative. Keeping it simple is good. You could literally say I'm leaving x due to the cheating with a mutual friend. Onwards and upwards! Good riddance to bad rubbish!

I’m not sure I would put it in a WhatsApp, that can be screen shot… but I might do a group WhatsApp call, tell everyone at the same time and then hang up and watch the car crash unfold. Nothing in writing, and it’s unlikely anyone would be recording the call ;)

So… did you do it? 😂

Sorry but as soon as you make a relationship exclusive you have made a commitment. This comment is ridiculous.

Yes ....never thought of it like that before but you are exactly right !!

I think you'll feel better having not done it. Most people probably know and they are the 2 who look really bad already.

I would.

announce it…. Announce the divorce

Add a mic drop meme

exit the group

You have a DC with this creep? You need to think about the future because, unless he's one of those men who disappear out of your life and your DC's life, you will have to deal with him in the future. I'd say dignity is pretty important at this point. Make it plain how badly he has behaved, to your close friends but don't broadcast it unless he starts claiming non of it is his fault. They do that.