Announce husbands cheating in WhatsApp group (other woman is in it and l will name her)

[TruthorDie]

I found out my husband cheated on me before we got married, invited the woman he cheated with to our wedding and she came to our wedding. He’s not especially contrite about it all, is unable (l think it’s unwilling but anyway) why he invited her and why she attended. He claims l suggested he invite her so he did! In reality she’s a friend of his and we invited all of our friends.

To put the boot in she got blind drunk at the wedding, was a total mess, l was pregnant when we got married and then the next day hassled us a lot to return the items she had left at our venue. My husband, the woman he cheated with and myself are all in a WhatsApp group together and lm contemplating announcing we are splitting up and why including naming her. Probably not very dignified but lm guessing quite satisfying. I’m pretty sure some people in the group know about the cheating as they were there when it happened but not everyone does

I'd send the message. Fuck it.

I'd guess he confessed because the rest of the group already know and someone was threatening to tell you.

He's an arsehole.

Again, so what if the cheating man gets together with the OW?

I doubt it, if his side piece was prepared to go to his wedding then she's not one who values herself much, and he obviously didn't care that she would be in anyway hurt.

She just sounded like a beg in the background, following him arround for scraps, probably clinging on his every word.

That's why it's why it makes no sense he has told op, unless he was forced into it, or op had her suspicions.

Op, I would get your truth out there.

What does the OP expect to gain by her WhatsApp strategy?

Control of the messaging to the wider group of friends. The removal of the option of the cheating couple to pretend the OPs marriage just didn’t work out and then later the husband and OW decided to start dating once it was all over.

it might not change much, but stops them lying to wider group about her (or at least, if they do, means their mutual friends will take what they say with a pinch of salt unless they are very stupid)

OP ignore any posters on this thread saying you owe someone this or you owe someone that. You owe nothing to anyone. You havent done a single things wrong in this whole situation. Do whatever makes you feel better and to hell with these two disgusting specimens.

I think I would send it with the survey mentioned earlier! That's really funny. Humour is how I cope with everything though so being childish would absolutley be my go to in this situation.

Shame is a powerful tool for oppressors to keep control, it happens in many areas of life, look at the recent PO scandal, shame kept them in line.

Some people behave badly, they don't care, they only care about protecting themselves and their reputation.

It's a win for them if op keeps silent.

This is a really good point.

Before you do it, are you absolutely 100% certain that this cannot cause your child harm or embarrassment, now or in future

Why would it be the fault of op, she hasn't done anything, I can't see this action of talking on whatssapp being any worse than shagging your mutual friend behind your wife's back.

The embarrasment will be on the male and the ow.
Stop gaslighting the op.

I would do it but keep it brief.

I'm asking why did the husband tell the truth randomly...was the OW going to tell the OP.

And the OP gets to gain a bit of satisfaction and control over a situation instead of these people thinking she doesn't know and feeling sorry for her. She doesn't need anyone's sympathy. She sounds like a strong confident woman to me.

I would be proud of my mother had she pulled them up on it and not taken any shit from the pair of them.

I have... questions...
The timings in the post are not clear - How long before the wedding was the cheating? When did you discover it? How long have you been married now? Why are you separating? Who else is in the WhatsApp group - on first reading it, I thought it was just you, hubby and the woman...
If the affair was years ago and you married him aware of it, and you're separating for wholly unrelated reasons, then there is nothing to be gained by posting that. If you've only just found out and this is genuinely the cause of the separation then the catharsis might feel great but there may be longer term consequences in terms of your relationships with the others in the group.

Do it

I was advised to keep the dignified silence so I had the upper hand.

XH then put all over social media how we'd grown apart and faults on both sides.

No dear, you had affairs over 10 years.

I wish I'd stated my truth calmly and simply to all our friends from day 1.

Post on the what's app. And do it with pleasure.

I dont see what the big deal is with announcing over WhatsApp..why shouldn't she?! Its why they split, and they should feel ashamed of themselves..ESPECIALLY as she had the audacity to come to the wedding! To those saying "it's not dignified"...bore off

Not a fan of disgracing myself online with paggro/aggo rants, but a short sweet announcement is fine IMO

Even though you were pregnant with his child ?

Nit a good idea to call her out on it. It takes 2 to cheat. Just leave him or make him leave and forget about it, or it will consume you ( if it already hasnt)

It's not the 1950s. She's not obligated to marry him because she's pregnant with his child.

Get the divorce and if there's no prenup take him for all he has and enjoy the rest of your life my doll! Because you deserve it 🥰
karma will get him so you don't have to 😘

When you say he cheated on you before you were married when had that occurred. Do you mean just once or was he seeing her for months?

No fucking way would I do this. Why generate the drama? You don’t need it in your life.

Bin him off, block her and seek revenge by getting the fuck away from these toxic arseholes and building a happier life without them in it. Definitely a ‘take the high ground’ situation and leave the drama to these two fools.