Announce husbands cheating in WhatsApp group (other woman is in it and l will name her)

[TruthorDie]

I found out my husband cheated on me before we got married, invited the woman he cheated with to our wedding and she came to our wedding. He’s not especially contrite about it all, is unable (l think it’s unwilling but anyway) why he invited her and why she attended. He claims l suggested he invite her so he did! In reality she’s a friend of his and we invited all of our friends.

To put the boot in she got blind drunk at the wedding, was a total mess, l was pregnant when we got married and then the next day hassled us a lot to return the items she had left at our venue. My husband, the woman he cheated with and myself are all in a WhatsApp group together and lm contemplating announcing we are splitting up and why including naming her. Probably not very dignified but lm guessing quite satisfying. I’m pretty sure some people in the group know about the cheating as they were there when it happened but not everyone does

@BIWI

I didn’t ask you

Do it!

Id do it. Im fed up of worrying other people’s family.
let them both suffer the consequences

I would do it so everyone knows to avoid the shitbags. Plus, you’ll feel much better.

Way back when I'd probably agree with the 'dignified silence' approach.

With more life experience now, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Speak your truth. If these friends already knew or take their side they weren't your friends anyway. I hope your new single life brings you truth and freedom in abundance.

thats what I was thinking!

It must have still been going on when you got married, no? For her to come along like it was a game. She seriously sat and watched him marry you, yikes. He's the main fucker to blame though remember. He lied through those vows. I'm guessing he felt like he had to go through with it as you were having a baby. What a mess. It will get better op. You deserve much more.

If you decide to do it, I think you should be very clear about the facts so that people don't presume it's an affair after you married or something you knew about before the wedding. Something like: "I am divorcing (name) due to him cheating on me with (name) when we were engaged. This is something I have only recently been made aware of."

I like this

You do know this is a discussion site, don't you?

Resist the temptation and don’t do it.

IME you never do yourself any favours by badmouthing others, doesn’t matter if they have done you wrong.

@TruthorDie
Wow!! What an absolute pair of cunts!
He invited her to your wedding, while you were pregnant, and she attended...... Fuckin hell!!

I am so sorry for you ( not in a patronising way - but what they did was absolutely outrageous!!)

Obviously, he shoulders the responsibility, but obviously she's an absolute twat too.

Yep, I absolutely would want to put it on wotsapp , but do as pp said and keep it dignified and short. You don't need to put that he's a moral-less cunt, and she's an arsehole - it should be obvious to all.......

You'll certainly learn who your friends are in this period - and see it as a positive x

Wishing you all the best x

I think you should keep your children out of this. They didn't get to choose their dad, you did.

She doesn't need to badmouth them, she can just state the fact. It's their mutual friendship group so not mentioning why those key relationships are fractured (which affects that group) would be an odd omission

Tontonmacoute, so the whole #metoo movement would never have happened

@BIWI

You do know this is a discussion site, don't you?

No shit sherlock

Do it! Fuck them both!

Don't get why he randomly told you what did he hope to gain?!

Was she maybe threatening to do it herself??

I'd post it.

I kept a dignified silence when I split from the ex and tbh I regret it.

Just tell what happened and walk away. Like you I didn't care what others would have said in response. I just wanted the facts out there of who and when, and why we were splitting.

How disgusting of him to cheat during fertility treatment. 😡

I wonder what the motivation was for telling you now? Was he worried someone else would blurt it out?? Regardless, sounds like you will be better off without him and without his friendship group.

@Only4nomore I wondered the same

Yeah seen this happen before.
I've also been on an email group where one person sent us all an email saying her husband had cheated. they are still together with more children born since.

I find it odd that so many people are suggesting they wouldn't want to know any details of a friend's divorce.

We had a couple we were close to (used to go on holiday with etc) go quiet on us when we had a baby. We assumed they just weren't interested in us any more due to the baby/our limitations.

Turned out she had started shagging her PT around the time our baby was born after months (and arguably years) of marital problems. We heard from him six months later, and he told us the facts, no bad mouthing and no slagging off, but quite clear that the affair was the nail in the coffin and the eventual reason they split up.

He also let us know that she didn't want him to tell people about the affair, and wanted him to tell people the split was due to differences of opinions over other life plans. He refused.

I am grateful we were told the truth, 1. the issue wasn't us and 2. while I didn't see it as a reason to end my friendship with her (and nor did her ex-husband), she clearly did, as she never fessed up to the affair to her other friends and claims to this day they met on Tinder. I don't think she wants somebody who knows the truth anywhere near her current social group. Again, its not personal, and it was nice to know that.

I would do it then leave the group.
Sorry you’ve had to endure such toxic, sociopathic, nasty individuals & their actions x

Again, so what if the cheating man gets together with the OW?

This isn't about anyone else but the OP.

It's about putting the unvarnished truth out there before any bullshit narratives are spun. It's not badmouthing anyone - just stating the truth.

THIS!!!!!!!

dignity: shut your mouth woman. 🙄 typically advised by other women..

I would also do the same

I’d add in ‘and X, your bags will be packed you are no longer welcome at the house’