Announce husbands cheating in WhatsApp group (other woman is in it and l will name her)

[TruthorDie]

I found out my husband cheated on me before we got married, invited the woman he cheated with to our wedding and she came to our wedding. He’s not especially contrite about it all, is unable (l think it’s unwilling but anyway) why he invited her and why she attended. He claims l suggested he invite her so he did! In reality she’s a friend of his and we invited all of our friends.

To put the boot in she got blind drunk at the wedding, was a total mess, l was pregnant when we got married and then the next day hassled us a lot to return the items she had left at our venue. My husband, the woman he cheated with and myself are all in a WhatsApp group together and lm contemplating announcing we are splitting up and why including naming her. Probably not very dignified but lm guessing quite satisfying. I’m pretty sure some people in the group know about the cheating as they were there when it happened but not everyone does

@millymog11

They will think your (soon to be ex) husband is a cheating scumbag but they will think you are a (insert preferred judgmental descriptor) doormat / desperate/clueless whatever to marry him in the first place knowing he was a cheat.

This is why you need to read the whole thread. The OP didn't find out about the cheating until after the wedding.

Thanks. You summarised this better than l could.

Exactly. I can’t read minds. I had no suspicions and l was only told by husband after we married. So lm hardly desperate / clueless / a doormat

This is unwise and has the potential to cause no end of drama and heartache

I would do it regardless, because fuck them

Further info that people have asked about
-it was more than a snog. They have no previous romantic or sexual history l am aware of
-she was single at the time l think? We weren’t “on a break” or any of that nonsense
-l wasn’t pregnant when it happened but we were actively having fertility treatments. Very obviously and clearly pregnant on the wedding day e.g. had to wear a maternity wedding dress

I would. Fuck them. Never mind all that dignity bullshit. You don't need any of them and frankly the more people know what he and she are, the better. And if they all already knew, well shame on them too.

"This is why you need to read the whole thread. The OP didn't find out about the cheating until after the wedding."

That might be the case (that I need to read the whole thread)

Even if OP did find out about the cheating after the wedding I still think that a lot of people do not like being "put on the spot" via a very public announcement, especially one where the technology is so loaded (who has opened it who has read it who has replied to it who has said nothing who might have replied but privately to the sender of the message, who just did not reply to anything who might have blocked OP because of the message - the possibilities are endless)

What do you get out of it and what would you want to achieve? Is the best case scenario that every single recipient of the WA message / attendee at the wedding suddenly turns violently against OP's husband in an avalanche of hate? Even if that is achieved then will it really salve the OP's hurt? I think not.

But who cares if others are 'put on the spot'? What about 'the spot' that the OP has been put on?!

Why shouldn't @TruthorDie tell the story? It's her story to tell! And far better that she gets in first, with the real story, rather than letting him (or the OW) decide what version of events they're going with.

who cares if others are 'put on the spot'?

Those very others, presumably.

How did you find out about the cheating, was it a one off or was it a full blown affair

I wouldn't do it but I wouldn't blame you if you did, and if it was a WhatsApp group I was in I'd probably message you privately to offer support.

'Those very others' can be supportive then, can they not?

Totally do it. Embarrass her. You have nothing to lose and satisfaction to gain ha ha

Makes no difference 😂 he cheated and then had the audacity to ask her to marry him.. I’d bin him and his mushroom dick off

He told me. It was a one off apparently

Sure, but this wouldn't be a private approach for support. It would be an exercise in using them for public shaming. They may react differently to that.

What made him tell you?

wonder why her told you and what outcome he expected? because you mentioned he is not even particularly sorry

Send it, I definitely would 💐 what areseholes x

@TruthorDie

He told me. It was a one off apparently

Why did he tell you this, had you suspicions and you queried him or did he just tell you out of the blue* *

If it was a one off we’re they both drunk?

Hahaha, yes!! This.

I’d do it. It means you get to tell the truth about why you’re separating.
Your H will most probably tell them a pack of lies!

YES!

This, basically

Why does any of that matter, and what business is that of yours or anyone else on this thread?

The OP has been cheated on, and she is splitting up with her husband. That's all we need to know.

Are you trying to make excuses for the husband/OW here?