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Original poster

Announce husbands cheating in WhatsApp group (other woman is in it and l will name her)

855 replies

TruthorDie · 22/02/2024 08:47

I found out my husband cheated on me before we got married, invited the woman he cheated with to our wedding and she came to our wedding. He’s not especially contrite about it all, is unable (l think it’s unwilling but anyway) why he invited her and why she attended. He claims l suggested he invite her so he did! In reality she’s a friend of his and we invited all of our friends.

To put the boot in she got blind drunk at the wedding, was a total mess, l was pregnant when we got married and then the next day hassled us a lot to return the items she had left at our venue. My husband, the woman he cheated with and myself are all in a WhatsApp group together and lm contemplating announcing we are splitting up and why including naming her. Probably not very dignified but lm guessing quite satisfying. I’m pretty sure some people in the group know about the cheating as they were there when it happened but not everyone does

OP posts:
SpringleDingle · 22/02/2024 14:57

Burn that shit to the ground! They should be ashamed of themselves not you.

BetsyBobbins · 22/02/2024 14:59

QueenCamilla · 22/02/2024 14:51

I don't think it's "the bomb" that you expect it to be, OP.

I'd actually feel weird as a friend of yours, to be dragged into the ins/outs of where your husband's dick has been in an anticipation of me being some baying spectator in the crowd.
It really ain't THAT interesting.
Having said that, it would eek out a two minute topic in front of my TV dinner...

Given your nickname your post is hardly surprising, eh?

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 22/02/2024 15:00

I like this🖕👆🖕🖕

Everythinggreen · 22/02/2024 15:00

ttcat37 · 22/02/2024 14:02

“Just to let you all know, I’m divorcing my husband because he shagged someone else. The someone else was fully aware that he was engaged to me and even had the audacity to come to our wedding”

Leave it a moment or two…

”In fact, the other woman is in this whatsapp group!”

I’d then do a poll called “who slept with my husband?”, and make all options her name.

Love this 🤣🤣

Throwawayme · 22/02/2024 15:01

I'm sorry this happened to you! What a pair of fucking dick heads they are. Too right I'd out them in the groups. I'd not regret it at all!! Take care of yourself ❤️

Epidote · 22/02/2024 15:01

makeupme · 22/02/2024 09:04

Why on earth would they side with a woman and man who cheated on OP and she caused a scene at their wedding? Of course they aren't.

Because OP was pregnant and they can play de card of they were some much in love but he married OP because she was pregnant an all the bullshit that the can made up to make OP look a unstable person. In fact if OP say something in the chat they will be using it against her anyway.

Normal people is reluctant to believe the amount of crap cheaters can made up, but believe me, at least I know a cheater how is very good selling shit.

OP is navigating dangerous waters with those two. I would be inclined to say nothing.

neilyoungismyhero · 22/02/2024 15:02

If you really feel the need just say you're separating and you expect they already know why.

Lotsofsnacks · 22/02/2024 15:02

So the OW doesn’t know, you know? And all this time she’s has been acting all pally with you on the chat group? Barefaced shame of your husband staying in a WhatsApp group with this wife, and old mistress!! This is weird, as you would think it would be extremely awkward for both, given their past, and they would want to avoid this to not cause suspicion and come up with an excuse to leave. So nothing has happened between them since you got married?

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 22/02/2024 15:04

Personally I wouldn't. If people separate or get divorced its usually complicated, I don't think saying 'we are getting divorced because of x' is a good idea in any circumstances. I absolutely do not mean this to protect the pair of them, but for your own sake. Mutual friends will see this as a declaration of war, there might be those with torn loyalties and who knows, you might be the one who ends up being left out. He is still the father of your child and this could affect your co-parenting relationship. I don't think you should keep it a secret if you don't want to, tell whoever you like in person. That's what I would do but I am very much in favour of 'never air your dirty laundry in public'. I'm sorry you are going through this, it sounds awful.

Aubree17 · 22/02/2024 15:04

Absolutely not, you'll regret it when the emotion settles. Keep your dignity.

Strokethefurrywall · 22/02/2024 15:06

💯 behind you. Scorched earth - I don't believe in "dignified silence" when it allows the wrong doers to believe their actions had no consequences. And frankly, there's nothing dignified about rolling over and taking the brunt of their shitty actions.

Name names, proudly and openly and then you can hold your head up in and opt for dignified silence if you want.

BaublesAndGlitter · 22/02/2024 15:06

I like Colouring Pencils suggestion, but just to annoy them I'd change it to 'me and DH are splitting up due to his affairs, including with a mutual friend.'
Then the ones who know will know it's her, and she will be left wondering who else he cheated with.

Nanny0gg · 22/02/2024 15:11

Lampslights · 22/02/2024 11:22

Also, if I was the ow, and I hasten to add I have never cheated or been with a married or engaged man. I would respond and say something like “im sorry to hear it’s over, hope you all heal. Obviously I was aware the relationship was in real trouble when George and I got together, and was concerned when the marriage went ahead, and felt he should habe been honest with you about his feelings. Good luck.

'And as your friend I should never have gone there, whatever the state of your relationship...'

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 22/02/2024 15:11

Another thing to consider OP (and I know you don't want to) is that he may end up with her? And way down the road she is stepmother to your child. Its horrible but it happens. What you say about her now will not be forgotten by others when you are handing over a backpack at the school gates and making polite small talk in 10 years time.

ilovesooty · 22/02/2024 15:11

GremlinsTwo12 · 22/02/2024 09:07

There's a difference between addressing the people who have harmed you and engaging in a public 'shaming' spectacle which involves people who weren't involved at all.

That's what's undignified and it has nothing to do with women being 'silenced' but everything to do with the toxicity of social media being used for people to create a public drama.

Show quote history

That's expressed exactly what I would say. I really don't see why it's necessary to involve other people.

Nanny0gg · 22/02/2024 15:12

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 22/02/2024 14:43

The object of,your ire should be the DH Skank, not the woman. He was making vows to you, not this woman

Show quote history

She was supposedly her friend...

menopause59 · 22/02/2024 15:12

Absolutely name and shame the cheeky twats

Fuck being dignified you do whatever you want to you have done nothing wrong.

kkloo · 22/02/2024 15:13

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 22/02/2024 15:11

Another thing to consider OP (and I know you don't want to) is that he may end up with her? And way down the road she is stepmother to your child. Its horrible but it happens. What you say about her now will not be forgotten by others when you are handing over a backpack at the school gates and making polite small talk in 10 years time.

So what if other people don't forget?

I'm really not sure what you're getting at.

Original poster
TruthorDie · 22/02/2024 15:13

Lotsofsnacks · 22/02/2024 15:02

So the OW doesn’t know, you know? And all this time she’s has been acting all pally with you on the chat group? Barefaced shame of your husband staying in a WhatsApp group with this wife, and old mistress!! This is weird, as you would think it would be extremely awkward for both, given their past, and they would want to avoid this to not cause suspicion and come up with an excuse to leave. So nothing has happened between them since you got married?

Apparently she doesn’t know l know. I last saw her face to face the day after our wedding. She was super sheepish but l attributed that to how wasted she was the night before and leaving her worldly belongings -coat, door keys etc at the venue. Which we then had to deliver to her house -which was the last thing l wanted to do after a loooong day the day before and was made worse by being pregnant

OP posts:
Illpickthatup · 22/02/2024 15:13

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 22/02/2024 15:11

Another thing to consider OP (and I know you don't want to) is that he may end up with her? And way down the road she is stepmother to your child. Its horrible but it happens. What you say about her now will not be forgotten by others when you are handing over a backpack at the school gates and making polite small talk in 10 years time.

I very much doubt there will be polite small talk in the future. And who cares if people remember? So they should.

Original poster
TruthorDie · 22/02/2024 15:14

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 22/02/2024 15:11

Another thing to consider OP (and I know you don't want to) is that he may end up with her? And way down the road she is stepmother to your child. Its horrible but it happens. What you say about her now will not be forgotten by others when you are handing over a backpack at the school gates and making polite small talk in 10 years time.

And? If they end up together so be it. She never sticks at anything ever and l doubt he will be any exception

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthorDie · 22/02/2024 15:15

@Lotsofsnacks apparently nothing has happened since we got married

OP posts:
Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 22/02/2024 15:16

If they are co-parenting and she is with DH long term, of course there will be small talk moments, its inevitable. Avoiding at all costs would be detrimental to the child when it grows up. I just don't think OP should do anything now that she might regret later, that's all.

HarrietStyles · 22/02/2024 15:22

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 22/02/2024 15:11

Another thing to consider OP (and I know you don't want to) is that he may end up with her? And way down the road she is stepmother to your child. Its horrible but it happens. What you say about her now will not be forgotten by others when you are handing over a backpack at the school gates and making polite small talk in 10 years time.

I think it’s much more highly likely that the small talk will be about the dick cheating on his pregnant wife and that his new missus slept with him when he had a pregnant fiancé and attended their wedding. I doubt the small talk 10 years later will be about the victim sending one text stating the above facts.

Andylion · 22/02/2024 15:22

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 22/02/2024 15:11

Another thing to consider OP (and I know you don't want to) is that he may end up with her? And way down the road she is stepmother to your child. Its horrible but it happens. What you say about her now will not be forgotten by others when you are handing over a backpack at the school gates and making polite small talk in 10 years time.

But OP suspects that some of the other friends already know, so they will be gossiping about her. A simple, factually post is the way to go.