My husband thinks breastfeeding women should be more classy

[marshmallowburn]

He thinks if you are feeding, do not do it in the centre of a food court , try to go to the edges. Choose your seat around the fringe. Preferably near a potted plant. Choose to be discreet. Do not make a spectacle of yourself ( in Parliament),
In a restaurant, don't sit in the middle.
Women should show more discretion and decorum.

I bf'd for 2 years, staunch bf advocate and supporter. I kinda agree with your dp.

Hear me out -

I hope I was discrete. I did tend to sit facing away from folk, at first I was nervous, then when my milk came in it was a very messy job, all the way through. And I didn't need to expose any more of my skin that was necessary - get kid latched on, rearrange top, enjoy my own one-handed drink/meal. Add in a toddler who'd rather be looking around the room and I was flashing everywhere.

And then there are your performance bf-ers. Boobs out, everything on display, quite exhibition-ist in a 'look how amazing I am at nourishing my dc' or 'its legal for me to do this in public so I'll make a scene if I am so inclined'. I had a few friends in either and both categories. That sort of behaviour is frankly bad manners.

I wouldn't want to eat my lunch around anyone who was eating messily, or being a tit (pun intended) about their food, or the environment or showing off. Bf is fine, crack on, anyone who's uncomfortable can look away or leave the room. But if you are intentionally drawing attention to yourself then you're a tit and should go somewhere where the rest of us don't need to be around your performance feeding.

Does he also think that bottle feeding babies should be banished so that nobody can see them receiving nourishment?

No. Didn't think so.

Your husband is a walloper

I've breastfed 4 ( the youngest is my new husbands ). Never had a problem. I was genuinely shocked that he thought women should try to hide. He never said a word to me in the 6 months I fed our boy. Maybe I am just naturally discreet, but IME, you just find somewhere to sit, pick up bub , move your top and bra and plonk baby on. There;s not much to it. I am so confused . He genunely is a lovely man. He has stormed off now and is angry I have posted his words. This is going to go well.

And then there are your performance bf-ers. Boobs out, everything on display, quite exhibition-ist in a 'look how amazing I am at nourishing my dc' or 'its legal for me to do this in public so I'll make a scene if I am so inclined'. I had a few friends in either and both categories. That sort of behaviour is frankly bad manners.
I have never seen this. And I've been around many breastfeeding mothers. A couple wore those apron things (that personally I think look silly and draw loads more attention but there you go). But everyone else just got on with it. Despite differences in clothing, fussiness and age of baby etc there was never any exhibitionism or statement making.

I'm always sceptical about claims of seeing this attitude on multiple occasions.

I think your husband should know better than to share his opinion on this topic.

Having said that, I saw a woman breastfeeding in a public swimming pool very recently and thought that was a bit much, not least because of hygiene because she didn't have a cloth to wipe up any dribbly bits.

I was breastfeeding my children anywhere and everywhere 22 years ago and your husband expressed that opinion anywhere I could hear it I’d tell him in no uncertain terms to FUCK OFF

it isn’t women who made breast sexual, it’s men and if a woman wants to wop out her tit to feed her baby in the most natural way then she can do it anywhere she pleases.

breastfeeding women do not need his approval or permission to feed their babies.

please take your husband back to the dark ages where he belongs.

I guess I'm slightly in the middle here. Only slightly mind...

Breastfeed anywhere (I did) but like with anything else in life, I try to act in a vaguely considerate way, and rightly or wrongly (mostly wrongly) no one should really care about seeing a bit of tit.

In a food court, if there was space I'd likely favour a quiet spot and avoid sitting next to a table full of teenage boys. If it was the only table I wouldn't care.

I didn't ever use a cover, but like most breastfeeding mums I didn't exactly want to be flashing a lot in public either, so chose clothes carefully. But equally, I'm not going to get upset because someone caught a second of nipple.

I was very happy breastfeeding round friends, but would often (not always) excuse myself and pop upstairs around my dad because I know he found it awkward.

But this isn't a breastfeeding thing, its just being considerate, and didn't ever stop me feeding. I fed on theme park rides, planes, buses, wherever.

In the same way, I often won't something very obviously meaty (like chicken on a bone, orna rare steak,) or ethically questionable (veal maybe) around someone who is veggie for animal welfare reasons.

If going round the home of someone who is a devout Muslim, I'll choose an outfit that's modest enough that no one will feel uncomfortable. I won't be covered from head to toe, but a long sleeved top and trousers rather than low cut top and mini skirt.

If someone is struggling with a diet I won't choose to eat cake in front of them.

None of these are 'required' of me, but if I can be considerate to others, and its not to my detriment, I will.

The OP, your husband is an idiot thought. Any 'consideration' is a gift from the person and should not be expected or demanded.

It might be a special part of bonding but it's also a very ordinary, repetitive, practical, functional thing ... That needs done.

Agree. It becomes very functional quickly when you’re doing it many times a day. Baby hungry, nurse baby, wait til they latch off, done. Majority of the time, most see the tops of babies’ head and it looks like baby is just cuddling mum. It’s more evident imo when there’s a nursing cover.

I was waiting for a "performance feeder" comment and lo, one appears. In all my time breastfeeding around other mums breastfeeding, I have never seen anyone making a massive show of it as a deliberate action. (Unless it was at a specific breastfeeding protest sit-in when it was being done precisely as a political statement.)

Even if one woman wanted to make a show of it, so what? Just look away and don't pay attention. Crisis over. Making women feel that they are doing something disgusting, embarrassing, indiscrete, low-class or whatever negative description floats your boat, is wrong. Absolutely and without any qualification.

I've never seen women with their boobs out either. He is telling me he and his mates have! I spend more time shopping than they do so I called that out as absolute crap. Sad way to end a kiddyfree night!

Your husband needs planting in one of those pots!

Stupid man

Nothing wrong with breasteeding in the most natural way and sitting where they like but wopping out your tit just coz I can is bad manners.

I've never seen women with their boobs out either. He is telling me he and his mates have!

I’m sure they have seen women with their boobs out. Just not necessarily breastfeeding mothers

Sounds to me like he doesn't want an uninvited throbber when he's tucking into his Whopper

Arsehole

Nobody’s wopping out their tit just coz they can, they’re wopping it out to feed their baby.

DOn't worry , I live on acreage ,and have lots of large pots: although sadly I already have a rather large patio!

I think your husband should be more classy and discreet with his opinions.

It's not bonding. It's feeding a baby.

Would you say the same thing about woman giving cow tit milk from a bottle?

I am still feeding my 4.5yo. She only feeds at night before bed now for comfort but you can guarantee that when she was younger and needed feeding when we were out, I couldn't give a shiny shit if it made someone embarrassed, gave them the heave or someone's husband thought I should be more classy. I was feeding my baby.

This is true. I am truly sad - about his weird new opinions

Nobody’s wopping out their tit just coz they can, they’re wopping it out to feed their baby.

No, the word wopping was used specifically. Again, breastfeeding indiscreetly out of necessity is different to 'wopping'.

When it comes to a public swimming pool, dribbly bits would be the lowest on the list of things in the water that I would think about in concerns of hygiene.

I think he should stop sexualising women’s breasts. They’re simply feeding their baby

I think you should get rid of the misogynistic twat. Sorry you procreated with that

I can assure you I've had 3 friends with these attitudes, hence why I posted.

Very much performance bf-ers. With those exact attitudes. One to the point I was embarrassed for the folk around us (I was bf dc at the same time) as she was making such a song and dance, whereas I'd just cracked on and got feeding.

Anyone that fusses so much about anything I have zero time for. And the 'its legal so I'll make a big a fuss as I like' is a bit wanky, I'd rather they just get on with it. I wouldn't tolerate anyone being like that when I'm eating my lunch any other time (and I'd be thinking 'twat'), why should my opinion be different just because they're also feeding their dc?

As I said, I bf'd for 2 years and hugely support bf. We have insanely low bf rates in England, I wonder if women see ONLY this sort of bf in public and are put off - instead of realizing that the majority of bf women just get on with it more discretely (whether that be in a cafe, on a plane, in church or Parliament?)