My husband thinks breastfeeding women should be more classy

[marshmallowburn]

He thinks if you are feeding, do not do it in the centre of a food court , try to go to the edges. Choose your seat around the fringe. Preferably near a potted plant. Choose to be discreet. Do not make a spectacle of yourself ( in Parliament),
In a restaurant, don't sit in the middle.
Women should show more discretion and decorum.

Sure , but it’s not happening. Wopping out a breast other than to feed a baby is a complete figment of the imagination and doubtless it would be bad manners if anyone did it, but they don’t.

You're husband is a dickhead. How can you bear to have sex with him?

Sure , but it’s not happening. Wopping out a breast other than to feed a baby is a complete figment of the imagination and doubtless it would be bad manners if anyone did it, but they don’t.

Yeah, I'm just responding to whoever said that it's fine to 'wop' - I disagree, that 'Wopping' on purpose is polite or considerate. I don't know if it happens or not.

Ugh. That's a very unattractive viewpoint. Doesn't he know how to control his eyes though?

I'm more interested in his feelings on seeing it, is he disgusted at the sight of boobs? Scared? Aroused? Why does he feel they should be hidden?

My partner is the opposite "lop it out wherever and feed our baby, I've got your back."

Ok…

*I have never seen this. And I've been around many breastfeeding mothers. A couple wore those apron things (that personally I think look silly and draw loads more attention but there you go). But everyone else just got on with it. Despite differences in clothing, fussiness and age of baby etc there was never any exhibitionism or statement making.

I'm always sceptical about claims of seeing this attitude on multiple occasions.*

Me neither.

Men walk around topless all the time. So, no.

What a weirdo. Why would they put tables in the middle of the room if they didn't want people to eat at them! Does HE hide behind foliage when he eats? Or does he eat and drink where he likes then blame the glass or plate for their lack of decorum for flaunting their (table)wares?

He really is a lovely man though. That is why I am so confused and posted. Never been a hint of this before , and I breastfed our son for 6 months. Super positive, would never have thought to ask me to cover up ( though I had friends that had that metal circle with fabric hanging down). Just never been an issue. Totally flumoxed. Thanks for the replies that were thoughtful.

He genunely is a lovely man.
He isn't though, is he? He's just shown you that. Not just a misogynist but a particularly judgy one at that. To say it makes him feel uncomfortable would be one thing, and I'd tell him to get over himself as a babies right to eat trumps him feeling uncomfortable seeing a boob put to good use. But to call someone unclassy for doing so reveals a whole other level of rank sexism.

IME there are only 3 times when people might see a lot of boob

1. boob protests (really not my kind of thing) where is done to make a point. I find these a bit excruciating tbh, but each to their own.

2. brand new mums/babies who are still trying to get to grips with bf, but faffing with clothes and latch takes longer. Good on them for making it out, and frankly most don't want to be showing any more boob than they have to buy have bigger priorities right now.

3. older babies/toddlers who will pop off and try to have a look around not caring that they've left you exposed 😂. At that sort of stage I'd tend to be a bit more choosy in where I'd feed if possible, but for my own sake as much as anyone else's.

I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone just get them out and leave them out for no reason!

How is he lovely if he makes you do all the childcare, work around the house and has to be nagged incessantly to do a bit of gardening work?

And games instead of doing the above.

At 53 yrs old.

Completely agree with this. I have never seen anyone performance-breastfeeding either. Feeding your baby is a completely natural thing to do, and suggesting that anyone needs to be discrete implies it is something abnormal and unsavoury which is totally wrong.

Yeah, course the low breastfeeding rates are down to all the performance breastfeeding women that there are, just making a big old show of it everywhere. Not.

Before I had babies, I barely noticed a single woman breastfeeding anywhere. Just didn't hit my radar at all. When I was the one doing it out and about, I noticed other women doing the same because I was more zoned it to it. When I see it now I feel empathy for the mother and silently wish her solidarity.

I wonder why your DH is so enraged by this. I don't get what's upsetting or enraging about seeing a woman breastfeeding in a parliamentary sitting. Especially when I know that ordinary MPs don't get any maternity leave or any cover of any kind.

Maybe he should be more classy than to have you do all the work around him and have to nag him to do a bit of outside work, while he games (??)

Would someone bottle feeding give you "the heave". Or someone winding a baby!!!

Ridiculous thing to say

He might well have lovely traits, but his views on strange women's breasts and what they should do with them isn't one of them. It sounds like he's not only got some challenging views on womens' bodies, and also regarding your roles in the relationship, but that's for you to decide.

On a side note, I'll not sure I buy the 'you simply can't tell most of the time'. It's pretty obvious because of the way the baby's head is facing. I see loads of women breastfeeding when it and about and rarely see even a slither of nipple.

Though why it matters the vast majority of the time is beyond me.

I went to the loo in a shopping centre and in one of the cubicles (the door was open) was a young woman breastfeeding her baby. How sad that she felt she had to hide in the loos. Is this what your DH would prefer?
I am old. I used to feed my twins discreetly, sitting in a cafe in the corner facing the wall. I doubt anyone clocked what I was doing. This was early 90s. There is still the option to behave like this, to save some people from - what? Accidentally seeing a nipple? Seeing a breast being used for its intended purpose rather than as a man's plaything? So long as you're not semi-naked in public, displaying, then I think the mother's and baby's needs come first and the rest of the public need to get used to it. There might be a minority who display as they do in other areas of parenting (Loudly in Waitrose: "Hugo! Organic hummus, don't forget!"). I do think that things have improved since my time and the public mindset is getting more used to bf in public, though there will always be idiots who object. Ignore them!

You did not ask for opinions. You just wrote what your shit man said.
You still seem really focused on his thoughts rather than if this is all you want from life, which is depressing.
Your posts don’t seem to make sense, you said the man is ‘lovely’, but swears all the time and does next to no domestic labour or parenting?

A. breastfeeding isn't taboo.
B. The sexualising of breasts is cultural. They are an organ for feeding babies; nothing more than organic milk bottles.
C. Feeding mothers do not have to hide. They are protected in carrying out this very pedestrian, everyday activity by law.
D. 'Bonding' with a baby isn't a private activity like necking with a lover. This attitude is seriously peculiar.
E. No one else is affected by a mother feeding her baby. Nor is anyone inviting an audience, or public opinion.
F. (is for fuck [off]). Husband is a judgmental ignoramus, and a weapons-grade arse to boot.

This must be a wind-up post! 🤣🤣🤣 Babies can and will eat wherever they please. This is protected by law, and rightly so. If he's got a weird aversion to babies eating and mothers minding their own business in public, he should definitely stay at home.

My friend's husband doesn't think women should have tattoos or drink from pint glasses. He thinks your husband is great.

Your husband is a twat 🤷‍♀️