My husband thinks breastfeeding women should be more classy

[marshmallowburn]

He thinks if you are feeding, do not do it in the centre of a food court , try to go to the edges. Choose your seat around the fringe. Preferably near a potted plant. Choose to be discreet. Do not make a spectacle of yourself ( in Parliament),
In a restaurant, don't sit in the middle.
Women should show more discretion and decorum.

I'm not sure they do - I think people didn't know how to vote because op made it clear she doesn't agree with her husband. So people might be unsure if "yabu" vote means your dh is being unreasonable or op is being unreasonable

That's right, I wasn't sure, I voted yanbu because op disagreed with husband. Should I have voted yabu (i.e. husband is being unreasonable)?

Thanks, at least there’s some hope then!

Annoying when what you’re voting for isn’t clear

I just can't understand this terrible difficulty you had in not looking. If I'm in a café with a friend, I'm talking to and looking at my friend, when I'm not looking at my food and drink. I'm not staring at the people sitting opposite us, whatever they're doing. If I need to look elsewhere and it entails my glance passing over the people opposite, then in this situation at most I would register "Breastfeeding mother" and carry on. It would be mad to sit there ignoring my friend, making exaggerated sweeps of my eyes over their heads, and wriggling with embarrassment when no-one else is bothered.

I don’t know if I missed this but why would some mothers get both breasts out to breast feed? Is it easier if you need to switch if baby won’t latch onto first breast/ first attempt?
Or is that some other posters coming up with nonsense?

It's probably a combination of exaggerated hyperbole and the fact that it does, often, require two hands to breastfeed a baby or toddler. If you're using a button up shirt or shirt dress, you open it to access one breast and start feeding, but if the baby/toddler squirms a bit they can kick the other side of the shirt off a bit. It's really not worth letting go with one hand, unlatching, to pull the shirt back over yourself. That can result in the baby screaming and potentially a fountain of breastmilk spurting outwards. [Some pp would froth with even more outrage at that]. So you accept your shirt has fallen open a bit and just quickly finish the feed before shutting it.

And yes, many mums breasrfeed without a bra. Depending on your breast size and shape, bras can be uncomfortable, get in the way, and increase the risk of mastitis. Every woman I've known who's had mastitis was feeding wearing bras.

No, they sat down after we had ordered. Jumpers came up, nursing bras flipped down, both breasts on view

I am wondering what sort of bra flips both cups down at once?

@Yalta I have seen women do this usually they appear to be wearing a regular tshirt bra so both sides go down at the same time.

It doesn't bother me but my then 5 year old son asked me later why because he thought only one breast had milk because that was what he had only seen before. So it did provide a gap in his education I had inadvertently caused .

Marblessolveeverything

It was the particular description nursing bras flipped down that made me wonder what sort of nursing bra this was

Do T shirt bras flip down

I can't remember ever getting both breasts out to feed even at home - too cold as well.
I would think it would be better finding a place in the cafe where the chair is more comfortable and could be at the edge if less distractions
I do remember a man suggesting I go and feed baby in the ladies toilet, I did suggest he went to the gents to have his food (third baby so I was quite outspoken by this stage)

@Yalta, yes I've seen nursing and non nursing version wore. Mind you my friend is a lactation support nurse so I have been in company of a lot of women feeding! It's probably a few years since I saw them they may not be currently around.

It's the one that feel like they have a layer of very soft foam, with pre shaped, sorry I am describing them awfully.
I imagine their softness is very attractive to women breastfeeding 😉

1

I certainly felt more comfortable personally doing all the things suggested in the OP. Certainly sat in a corner or at the side when possible so that no MrTitspervert would get a free boob show. I wouldn't judge anyone else though and can't honestly say that no-one has ever accidentally had a peek of a boob when DD latched off suddenly.

Where even are all these brazen hussies flopping their breasts out at your DH at a whim though? I can't say as I've ever noticed anyone breastfeeding indiscreetly! Not like it's a huge issue is it? Is it a big issue in your DH's life?

I'd say the bigger issue is women not feeling comfortable to breastfeed because a minority, but rather a large minority of men are problematic in one way or another.

Your husband is not BU. I've seen women in public places with both boobs flopped out and nursing like they are demonstrating the process in the middle of a café. I guarantee no stranger saw anything when I was BF, because I have more class and decorum.

@peakygold Did you sneak them out? Shimmy them out maybe? Creep? Or maybe with high levels of decorum and class, sailed them out? Glided? Swept? No, breezed.

God forbid a flop. What would people think?!

‘Classy’is a very odd word to use in this context. Regardless of the argument, presumably he means ‘discreet’.

@peakygold and presumably you had a compliant baby that wouldn't rip away any attempt at a cover randomly, or bob their head away for a good look around. And presumably you weren't hugely sleep deprived to the point where you'd forget to put one side away before swapping over, because you'd breastfed so many times in a 24 hour period that you had become utterly inured to having your breasts uncovered.... and so on and so on.

What any of those things have to do with "class" and "decorum" I have no idea.

Oh are we back to flopping now?

And more judgement as well!

Flip flopping and flapping about

I posted this earlier on the thread but you need this one @peakygold

Shame on this plague of wanton floozies who are disporting themselves in the nation's foodcourts, brazenly displaying their mammary glands, and putting upstanding and right-thinking men off their fast food, all for the sake of gratifying a few mewling infants. Something should be done about it!

I'm with those who are surprised at the 18% being as high a figure as it is. Supporting those who wish to be in a quiet corner is one thing, objecting to a woman breast-feeding their baby is another.

A lot of the time it's not the mums' fault if breastfeeding isn't 'classy', it's the babies'. With their grabby scratchy little hands, loud wailing attracting attention and hooliganish kicking of little legs.

It's useless just focusing on the mums, you need to educate the babies to behave properly as well. Maybe a feeding etiquette class for newborn babies before they're discharged from hospital?

Yes I had one of these, clearly better education was needed, perhaps in utero.

Then we’ve got boob size which comes into how noticeable the feeding is.

I fully support boobs out ‘protest’ feeders, if that’s what they are. I’ve just never been one or seen one

i did see a creepy guy who used to peer through the cafe window to watch.

The bloody Patriarchy is thriving, alive and well and living in a foodcourt near you!