To think you don’t do this when someone is taking you out for a meal…?

[greedyguts18]

DH took his sister out for dinner to celebrate her birthday at the weekend - it was a nice restaurant so he knew it wouldn’t be cheap but his sister ended up ordering the most expensive food items on the menu & had 8 cocktails at £20 a go!!!

The meal ended up costing hundreds and hundreds of pounds - so much so that I’ve had to bail him out so he could get through the rest of the month.

If someone is treating me to a meal, I always make sure I don’t choose the most expensive thing on the menu - surely this is just basic manners ?!

AIBU? Or was she really grabby to do that ?

Your SIL is a greedy piggy

As a basically t-totaler, except at Christmas and holiday, I can confirm I could also easily smash out 8 cocktails and be perfectly fine. They are mostly fruit juice anyway.

Blimey - 8 cocktails?! Yes, she's really really rude - it sounds like she went out of her way to rack up a huge bill. Well, I guess she'll only get the chance once. Nando's next time (or a gift voucher)!

This is disgraceful!

If you want to order something really expensive, you say to the person who is paying - oh I really fancy the [caviar?], it's more expensive than the other food so I'll give you the difference.

Or if you want to drink 8 cocktails, you say oh, I really want to drink loads of cocktails, I appreciate you paying for the first 1 or 2 for my bday, but I'll give you the cash for the others.

does his sister hate him? I can't imagine burning £200 or so of my sibling's money, in addition to the lets say £50 they might have been willing to spend.

I agree with you, but would say that some people would feel a bit embarrassed saying that, or feel that they couldn't phrase it without seeming rude.

Either way sister is CF

The food - no problem at all. It's actually really silly to not choose something just because it's the most expensive thing on the menu. If you're going to treat someone, be willing to treat them generously.
The drink - 8 cocktails is ridiculous whoever is paying. She should have more respect for her own health and well as her brother's generosity.

I agree, why did he take her somewhere that he couldn't afford?
If one (albeit very expensive) meal out, meant that he had no money at all until pay day, he could not afford that restaurant. He should have picked somewhere in his price range. DH problem not DSIL.

I can imagine that it might be a thing at a very expensive restaurant, if it's made with an expensive tequila or bourbon or something.

I mean since she is so grabby, what's stopping him sending her a message saying:

dear sister, lovely dinner we had the other night. the bill shocked me at £400 and I am now desperately short of money. Can you give me £100 of it back? The 8 cocktails were £160 altogether so I'd have paid for 3 for you and you could cover the other 5.

I mean why worry about being cheeky after what she's done?

She’s a big character so no one ever says no to her

More fool them

Unless there's some kind of backstory to this then it was very ugly behaviour, but I'm another wondering if there's more to this than you've been told - and if not, at least he knows not to make that mistake again

Assuming the above happened the way your DH said it did, I can understand why he didn't want to stop ordering cocktails.

If you've committed to taking someone out for a meal, then it can be awkward to say half-way through that you're not going to pay for everything. Telling her he wasn't going to pay for any more cocktails could also be interpreted by her as him saying she was drinking too much etc. Being told that can really put a dampener on an evening. To be honest, in his situation, I'd have probably paid for them too, and made a firm note never to take that person out again.

The SiL definitely took advantage though, whenever someone is paying for me, I always take the lead from what they order. So if they order wine, I'll ask for a glass of the same, and if they order sparkling water, then that's what I'll ask for too.

He'd want to have a very clear plan about how he'd make sure something like that wouldn't happen again, or at best, get a credit card that he'll put it on himself and pay off, rather than turning to you again.

I went to a restaurant, on a set menu for £20. The restaurant was quite posh and it was clear that they were making £££££ from very fancy drinks.

Speaking with my HR Business Partner hat on, your Brother is a dreadful manager . Totally unfair to not give him (what may have been a well deserved pay rise) because of a poor menu choice. Bad management and it should have been picked up on.

DH & I have been to the restaurant before & it cost us just under £200. When he went with his sister it was double that.

God I could totally smash 8 cocktails 😂

Interesting you ask if she hates him as they used to be really close but have drifted over the years - thought they were back on track though .

I do feel like she went out her way to spend as much of his money as she could tbh

She sounds pretty gross tbh...super tacky to take the piss when someone takes you out for dinner. Also agree that you can't really appreciate food if you're chucking back cocktails... Maybe wine pairing or something would be less annoying, especially if he drank it too, but 8 x cocktails while he had beer is rude as hell

Nothing you can do about it now really, but I think I'd just do vouchers for birthdays in future.

I was going to say… hope her brother is careful who he tells that to. 😬

@UnderTheMidnightMoon yes I totally agree - wine pairing would have been fair enough. Sugary cocktails don’t enhance the meal.

Ive said he can take her to McDonald’s next year 😂

At £20 for a cocktail the place was never going to be cheap. If you're treating someone, then surely you take them somewhere you can actually afford?
8 cocktails does sound excessive but if he was unhappy with her ordering them he should have said something at the time. Presumably he could see the prices!
There are also people who would consider those normal prices too and wouldn't think twice about it (I'm not in that group but I do know people who would pay that just for a standard evening out).

If the cocktails are £20 then it was somewhere he couldn't afford

He should have taken her somewhere in budget so even if she wanted the most expensive item (because its her birthday and she wants a treat) it wouldn't leave him short going forward

I think you've been drinking in the wrong places! Cocktails are not mostly fruit juice, they are mostly spirits. Some have a bit of fruit juice. Others have none.

He's the author of his own misfortune. He should have put the brakes on after cocktail number one

8 cocktails could easily be close to half a litre of spirits!

If I had to drink a cocktail, it would be a fruity funky coloured one, they usually have a lot of fruit juice. They wouldn't my drink of choice though as they are massively overpriced.