To think you don’t do this when someone is taking you out for a meal…?

[greedyguts18]

DH took his sister out for dinner to celebrate her birthday at the weekend - it was a nice restaurant so he knew it wouldn’t be cheap but his sister ended up ordering the most expensive food items on the menu & had 8 cocktails at £20 a go!!!

The meal ended up costing hundreds and hundreds of pounds - so much so that I’ve had to bail him out so he could get through the rest of the month.

If someone is treating me to a meal, I always make sure I don’t choose the most expensive thing on the menu - surely this is just basic manners ?!

AIBU? Or was she really grabby to do that ?

If the cocktails were £20 each I imagine we aren't talking Spoons prices for the beer either.

I presume she has always been like this and her taking the piss with other people’s generosity hasn’t come as a massive shock to you/him?

Knowing that, I’m not sure why your husband chose such an expensive restaurant?

I would have questioned if this was a good idea with him beforehand. and said I don’t want to bail him out if it left him short!

I tend to think don’t take someone out for dinner if you can’t afford it, or take them somewhere you can afford.
To add - for my birthdays we (friends) just split the bill and I don’t expect to be paid for. But thinking if I was to offer to take someone out, I wouldn’t restrict what they ordered.

I think it’s the cocktails that’s annoyed me the most as surely anyone drinking that much isnt going to be enjoying the food?!

So cheeky.

im curious about the people who’ve voted YABU.

you don’t take advantage of someone’s good nature and rip the arse out of it.

Porn star martinis aren't very big and I probably could do 8 in a good session but not with a load of rich food as well! 🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸

She was really rude but I don't understand why he didn't just say "ease up on the cocktails, I'm treating you but I didn't win the lotto".

He should deliver her a McDonald's Happy Meal next year for her birthday and tell her she's blew the birthday treat budget last time.

8 cocktails over one meal is exceptionally rude and greedy, regardless of price.

At £20 a cocktail, that's beyond rude!

Your OH did need to be a little more assertive though. Perhaps commenting that if she was drinking more than a couple of cocktails she would need to pay for them!

How much more expensive was the dish she chose compared with the average on the menu?

How many drinks did he have?

I once got taken on a date to a fancyish restaurant where the guy insisted he was treating me but said he could only afford for us to have 1 glass of wine each. I ordered a bottle and said I'd pay for it. I'd rather he'd treated me somewhere he could afford to buy meal and drinks.

Going to go against the grain, but if you invite someone for a celebration you either say 'It's on me' and be prepared to pay, or you give a budget at the outset; or at worst you intervene along the way if something crazily expensive is being ordered. If he didn't do any of those, YABU.

Would you not feel like they took advantage of your generosity by maximising their spend knowing it was being paid for by you?

Bloody hell - that’s rude! I’ve discussed this topic before with a good friend of mine who does a lot of entertaining; between us, we’ve decided the rules go like this:

• The person being treated should stick to the middle of the menu - ie not feel obliged to pick the cheapest thing, but definitely not go for the most expensive thing either.
• The person hosting should “open up the menu” if s/he is genuinely happy for more expensive things to be ordered (eg “the fillet steak here is really good” or “I’d highly recommend the lobster if you like it”). Similarly - “let’s have a glass of champagne” (as not okay to order that on someone else’s tab unless explicitly asked!).

I think that’s quite a good way to look at it. If you’re taking someone out, you want them to enjoy themselves and it’s irritating to think they’re ordering tomato pasta and tap water just to be polite. But equally, you don’t take the piss with numerous cocktails at £20 a pop unless explicitly encouraged to order them!

She was taking the piss but he was pretty stupid to let her put all those cocktails on the bill. My sil has form for always choosing the most expensive item on the menu if she is being treated, but even she would draw the line at 8 cocktails.

No because I would be doing this for someone who wouldn’t do that to me 😄

Basically I think it’s scroogey/cheap to invite someone out for dinner if you don’t really mean it. You don’t HAVE to invite someone out for dinner, so why do it if you’re not actually willing to pay? Choose somewhere cheaper or don’t invite them.

He should have said something about the cocktails, surely he saw the menu and prices before the end of the night. He needs to pay you back next month as it's both of their faults. She's rude but he's an idiot!

Agree with other posters, I don’t think there’s really anything massively wrong with her ordering food that was expensive. Whenever I take someone for a meal to celebrate I expect them to order whatever they’d like to eat from the menu whether that’s the £8 pasta or the £80 steak, I don’t want them to choose something they like less just because of the price, if I’ve invited them then I accept whatever their food costs. HOWEVER I think £160 worth of cocktails is 10000% taking the piss.

It's definitely rude, but I've had similar when treating a family member in the past. In my case it was my SIL who saw DH and I as well off and acted like somehow we owed it to her and her DC to spend as much as possible whenever we offered a gift/treat etc. If ever I had to say no, or explain we couldn't afford what she asked for she acted confused and pointed out things we had that they didn't (nothing flash, things like having bought a new washing machine/holiday etc). It was really obvious- for example if we went to buy an icecream when we were out she would discuss what they were having then as soon as I said I would pay she'd ask the server to make theirs double cones/add toppings etc. Families are weird. It's a shame, because we ended up just not offering them anything.

Jesus wept why didn't he say he had a budget and couldn't spend more than xyz!

She was rude af though

With food, if you're taking someone somewhere, you should be prepared for the upper end of the menu if that's what they would like.

But he should have said something after cocktail number 2. I'm not sure why he let her chug her way through that much.

I'd happily order something expensive. I'd never order 8 cocktails, that's taking the piss.

8 cocktails with dinner???
Either DPs sister is a phenomenal drinker or he is being economical with the actualité.

Hugely grabby and really bad form. Any etiquette guide would tell you to take note of what the host orders and tailor your own accordingly.
Also, £20 a cocktail?! Where did he take her?!

What a piss taker!

Well I love a cocktail but seriously, was it really 8?? I'd be in Casualty by about number 6.

Also where was it that they were £20 each? I've been to some really nice places but never paid more than about £14 for one cocktail. Is there a bit of exaggeration going on here possibly?

PS He only went along with it because he knew you'd bail him out OP
Make it very clear to him that there won't be a second time or you'll be paying for every boozy night out forever