To think you don’t do this when someone is taking you out for a meal…?

[greedyguts18]

DH took his sister out for dinner to celebrate her birthday at the weekend - it was a nice restaurant so he knew it wouldn’t be cheap but his sister ended up ordering the most expensive food items on the menu & had 8 cocktails at £20 a go!!!

The meal ended up costing hundreds and hundreds of pounds - so much so that I’ve had to bail him out so he could get through the rest of the month.

If someone is treating me to a meal, I always make sure I don’t choose the most expensive thing on the menu - surely this is just basic manners ?!

AIBU? Or was she really grabby to do that ?

I wouldn't personally behave that way; but if this place is out of his affordability ordering what a person wants on the menu; why would you go? Surely just go somewhere you can eat and drink as you wish and feel comfortable with the bill. 8 cocktails on your birthday; is not unusual if your young and don't have 4 day hangovers like me 🙈. I would be mad with the boyfriend, not her. His wallet and treat...his responsibility to manage 🤷

8 cocktails!

You all need to communicate better. If DH starts the night by taking Sis to flash restaurant, she's going to assume he has the cash to flash for this treat. And neither you nor DH reset that expectation. You're trying to pretend you're that wealthy, while secretly hoping Sis will skimp on herself. Just be up front honest about your entertainment budget with your family. Pick somewhere within budget or do a set menu meal or do an activity that is pre-paid. But it is sad and stressfull for everyone, when people try to impress, but don't have the funds.

Unbelievably rude and grabby. I'm embarrassed for her.

I had a friend do this to me. She had done me a favour telling me about a job opportunity in her uncle's company. I got the job and said I would take her out to dinner as a thank you on payday. She is very wealthy and never stops telling me this. Payday came but there was a problem processing mine. The dinner was booked and she had cleared her schedule so I borrowed some money to tide me over from a family member. So I arrived to the restaurant with a sum of cash and no access to any other money. I didn't want to tell her about my problems with getting paid and ruin the atmosphere of thanking her. She proceeded to order cocktail after cocktail. I was really turned off her as a friend. Even if money was no issue I thought it was so crass. We usually drink wine or beer. Every time she waved her empty glass at the waiter I did some mental arithmetic to see if I'd have enough money on me. I ended up eating and drinking very little as a result.

That is pure greed; her brother was daft to allow it.

I still think 8 cocktails is greedy, drinks shoot the bill up. He will know next time ! Take her Pizza Express and at the start say, "I've got problems with my card, so it will have to be cash and I only have x amount on me".

Communication problems from both of them.

If my sister took me out to an expensive dinner, I would comment on the price and make sure it was OK.
I would also expect my sibbiling to say something if what I wanted was too much.

They both seem irresponsible!

Is 6 of one and half a dozen of another really isn't it?

I think it's greedy to order 8 £20 cocktails if someone else is paying, but also I would expect someone to be able to afford the restaurant we were at. I would generally order most dishes on the menu unless there's one extortionate one compared to the rest

Was she calling the waiter over and ordering or was he offering another round? I would expect a sibling to be able to say "this is too much". You have no idea how the ordering went down.

And again a place that does £20 cocktails is expensive. That's always going to be £200+ quid, if you have to be bailed out if you go over that then you really can't afford that restaurant. It's poor boundaries and financial planning on his part and greediness on hers

Like going to a restaurant that serves £20 cocktails with less than £400 to your name doesn't scream sensible with money. He may have been flashing the cash

@Petlover9 So it's better to lie than communicate? Wow!
He could of just said after the second coctail "it's a bit pricey here, let's go somewhere else for more drinks after dinner".
I don't think anyone would order 8 cocktails without hesitation unless it's been offered- I guess he also wasn't just sipping one drink throughout the whole dinner.

I don't understand how someone can't talk to their sibling. I'd say to my brother, steady on bro, I can't afford that.

Very, very rude and greedy of your SIL but your husband should have said something after the first couple of cocktails. I would have been wishing the mother of all headaches on the selfish madam.

I wouldn’t take the piss if I was in this situation and wouldn’t expect anyone to either.

i was out celebrating a friends birthday at the weekend, knew her husband would insist on paying , so I had a main and a soft drink. Friend cajoled me into having a dessert too. However there were some people who had starter, main, dessert and 3 or 4 drinks. I just couldn’t.

I think you just have to live and learn. It is done now, having spent so much on the night it would be a terrible shame to spoil it in retrospect. Just think you have been earning brownie points and have some favours in the bank :)

It's very rude. If and when you're invited you check with your host if they take a starter? How many courses? A bottle or each a glass of wine? Dessert, coffee? And you absolutely don't order anything more expensive than your host does. Yes, even if he's your brother.

Very grabby and rude!

I would never expect a dinner for 2 to come to £400 ! That should be ample enough money.

8 cocktails at £20 each is far too much, but he should have said something. "I can stretch to 2 cocktails with dinner, but if you want to get rat-arsed, we can leave here and go to wetherspoons for a few more once we've finished eating."

if he treated her to a meal then I think it’s fair to pick anything off the menu. But 8 cocktails! That is taking advantage

Rude! Even when my partner is taking me out (we keep finances relatively separate which I know some people find weird) I will have 2 drinks max and choose something cheap. She sounds like an entitled brat, I would never do this to my sister. I know some people who would though and they are kept at arms length!

It's rude, but also why take her to a hugely expensive restaurant if its out of his budget?

Mickey Ds for her next year lol

I wouldnt personally do it if I was being paid for. I'd of also said something if I was paying. They are both equally at fault. You don't know what the conversation was, could she of asked and he said yes? Did he offer her another? Did she assume he was paying and he picked up the tab, I would speak to him and say its not acceptable to do that unless you're in a position to do so, and even then it's very frivolous... the drinks alone were a ridiculous price. He essentially has allowed it to happen. He should of stopped it, said something. Anything. He's a grown man. She could of even offered to pay for her own. Althou 8 cocktails she's not going to be in a good state to do anything much. Sure she'd of been pretty plastered. Sounds more to this. I'd be speaking to the hubby x

Where I am being treated (which doesn't seem to happen very often!) I always wait to see what the person paying orders and then choose accordingly. For instance, if they were having a pasta dish in an Italian, I wouldn't then order the most expensive fillet steak on the menu. I'm not a big drinker so it's rare for me to having anything more than one glass of wine but £160 of cocktails, wow, that is some hangover she'd have the next day. Hard to believe that your DH wouldn't have drawn the line after just one cocktail at £20 a throw.

Who are the 8% that think this is okay?

I hope someone speeds your money on a shit ton of cocktails and see if you're happy with it!

I wouldn't have let her order that much anyway in the first place but besides the point!