To think you don’t do this when someone is taking you out for a meal…?

[greedyguts18]

DH took his sister out for dinner to celebrate her birthday at the weekend - it was a nice restaurant so he knew it wouldn’t be cheap but his sister ended up ordering the most expensive food items on the menu & had 8 cocktails at £20 a go!!!

The meal ended up costing hundreds and hundreds of pounds - so much so that I’ve had to bail him out so he could get through the rest of the month.

If someone is treating me to a meal, I always make sure I don’t choose the most expensive thing on the menu - surely this is just basic manners ?!

AIBU? Or was she really grabby to do that ?

Very rude of her

Classic Mumsnet, where a restaurant that charges around £18/19 for a starter and maybe 30/65 for a main course is just an average sort of a place 😀

You can definitely spend more than £20 for a cocktail if that’s what you’re after, but you’ve got to make quite the effort to go to the sort of places that most people wouldn’t be taking their sibling to unless they were pretty loaded.

Somewhere like The American Bar at the Savoy would be charging a little over £20. Even a martini at Dukes only gets you to £25 a pop - and they won’t serve you more than a couple in case you go home on a stretcher!

Bet he doesn't take her out next birthday.....

I mean…he could have told her to rein it in. I genuinely don’t get 8 cocktails over the course of one meal though. How long were they there? Surely not more than 2-3 hours? So that’s more than one cocktail every 30 mins. I don’t understand how she wasn’t sick. Cocktails are either extremely potent or full of sugary crap/fruit juice/cream/egg white that fills you up. Did they also have wine? Must be more to this than than meets the eye unless they stayed on after and for whatever reason he also covered that?

1. I don’t understand why he didn’t say something to her
2. I can’t comprehend anyone drinking 8 cocktails and not ending up in hospital

No they're not, they often have say a shot of vodka and a shot of prosecco in, so that's two 'lots' of alcohol plus fruit juice.

The only consolation you can get from this is that she's probably got terrible indigestion and heartburn and will be shitting through the eye of a needle for the next 48 hours

I can drink 8 cocktails. There's usually around 50ml of alcohol in one, so that's 400ml. Less than half a litre bottle of spirit. Not great but not hospital worthy!

Depends what you have. I drink martinis, manhattans or negronis and they are more or less pure alcohol. You’d be pretty drunk after eight. I can do a bottle of wine in an evening and not feel it at all, but eight martinis I’d be struggling to stand.

YANBU. Your DH could have set/suggested a budget. I never choose the most expensive dish or order more than 1 drink. So I would order either one cocktail or glass of wine.

A trick my DD gave us was to ask for water for the table. She’s a waitress and she’s noticed that most people don’t do this and she can sell lots of drinks.

First sensible suggestion...

Either:

A) choose somewhere he can afford
B) set the rules before they start ordering

Why weren’t you at the restaurant with them OP? Were you ill or working? Seems odd your husband took his sister out for her bday without you.

That's what I was saying, they're strong, not just fruit juice as the poster I replied to was implying. I think we're in violent agreement! 🙌🍸🍸🍸

Now that is weird, why shouldn't the two of them just go out together??

The food is absolutely fine, as if you invite people on the basis you are paying you MUST factor they will have the most expensive things, and if they don’t it’s a win😁. However, the cocktails are taking the piss. One is expected but not more than that, then you switch to a shared bottle of wine.

Your DH was also in the wrong for not shutting down the cocktail thing after one. How he sat there and let it get to 8 is absolutely mind-boggling, do he only had himself to blame there.

I think if it really was 8 cocktails they were most likely Champagne Cocktails. That would help explain the high price, and is more like the equivalent of drinking a bottle of Champagne plus a couple of double cognacs on your own. More do-able than 8 martinis (probably about 13 units).

She sounds like an alcoholic.

Because presumably OP has a relationship with her husband’s sister? Why would she not be included? It’s not weird at all.

Taking your sibling for a drink or to a show of a band/comedian you both like but OH doesn’t isn’t odd. But most ppl like restaurants, it’s a social occasion. Birthdays are usually family oriented. I do think it’s weird that OP wasn’t invited or wanted to join them. Why don’t you?

I was waiting to see a comment like yours 😂 I’m sat here wondering why 8 cocktails seems like such a big deal in one sitting lol wouldn’t ever pay £20 for one though and wouldn’t pay for someone else to do that either lol that’s the only outrageous thing about this situation

I often celebrate my birthday with my sister and not my DH, we do a joint family thing too. There's loads of things we like to talk to each other about that my DH wouldn't be interested in, same as OP's relationship with her husbands sister possibly? Maybe they just don't like each other, loads of reasons!

Well, h3 won’t be offering again in a hurry, will he? Can’t understand why he didn’t cut her off after the first couple of cocktails. Cheeky fucker, she is.

I was going to say I could see sisters doing this, maybe brothers, as being the same gender it’s a different dynamic to chatting over food, is that sexist? I’m thinking of nights out with just men or women compared to mixed company. I know brothers and sisters can be extremely close, I am with my own brother, but I can’t imagine either of us being in a long term relationship and not inviting the OH/OH’s along too for a meal. A comedy show or gig, yes as it’s a mutual interest that not everybody would share, but who doesn’t like a meal out?

That’s awful of her but he is a bit of a pushover for enabling her to take the piss! He would have said “food’s on me” and let her pay for her own excessive drinking. Reminds me of my SIL when my husband was passing through London (where she lives) and asked her if she wanted to meet for a quick bite. He booked a table for 2 in a normal pub, she changed the reservation to a pricy place in Mayfair, then turned up with her kids (who were supposed to stay at home with their Dad) and proceeded to order expensive items off the menu plus cocktails knowing my DH would foot the bill. I was annoyed with him for paying not because of the money but because she is a rude, entitled cow who shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it!

8 Cocktails, has she got abit of a drinking issue. Taking the piss ordering so much and it is your husband also who should have said about the cocktails. How could she keep ordering them and expect him to pay for 8 of them as so expensive. You should not have bailed him out as he is a grown man and could have put a halt to the excessive amount of cocktails unless she wanted to pay for them herself.