Performance parents

[Maryquitecontrarymary]

Am I the only one who is irritated like hell around these people?
At airport waiting to board flight. Couple infront with 2 kids who seemed to want everyone to know what fun they are and how much banter they have together as a family. "Oh look at us, look how fun we are, look how great we get on with our kids".
Try to ignore but it's impossible as they are so loud and they are constantly looking around as though to see who is watching and listening, so you have to make sure you don't look their way or make eye contact.
Oh and guess where they happen to be sitting? Yep you guessed it, right behind us. I swear the whole flight could hear them and only them. The woman had a gob like a foghorn and seemed to swing between being performance banter mum and having a go at her husband. Even ear plugs couldn't drown them out.
I'm surprised these people don't exhaust themselves with their performances

irritated like hell

no

amused yes

were you on your way out or back from holiday?

I know just what you mean OP but you’ll get people on here saying that they are just engaging with their children & isn’t it better than ignoring them. When we know there is a difference between engaging with your family normally & doing so in a performative way to cause maximum irritation.

I’d find that extremely annoying! What sort of stuff was the family going with their kids?

I feel your pain. I have relatives who do ‘performance parenting’, sending videos on WhatsApp to show how clever their children are, how well they get on as a family etc. In person with them, it’s not so bad, but it seems relentless on WhatsApp with the videos and photos they send. To be fair, their child is adorable, but it still winds me up!

Well it's hard to say whether YABU or not because you don't say what she was actually doing.

But it's far better than seeing parents ignoring their kids.

I engage with mine all the time but in a quiet way that doesn't involve half the queue/plane/room having to listen in :)

They weren't the family in the On The Beach ad, were they...? 😉

how long ago was this OP?

How dare those people engage with their kids! They MUST be doing it to show off to you. Although it’s much more likely that they want to parent well rather than they’re concerned about what random people think about their parenting.

It wasn't just with the kids. It was mainly with the husband. Just really loud, constant banter which involved looking around like they were performing to a crowd, trying to engage everyone around them.

have you been stewing on this OP since half term OP?!

I think it depends, I once saw a Mumsnet user describe a person telling their very young toddler not to hit as ‘performance parenting’, because the child was too little to understand!

Ah the FFHs - families from hell.

Guaranteed we end up sitting near them on the plane and they'll be our hotel.

and they are constantly looking around as though to see who is watching and listening

how do you know unless you have your eyes peeled on them?! 😂

Still not actual example of what they did/said thought

I know what you mean by people who are performative and yes it can be irritating. However I also think normal/loud/excitable behaviour could be interpreted by some as performative.

some families are just loud and were they really looking around to see who was watching them? I mean they had you engrossed didn't they.

You sound ridiculous.

Here is the pissed off thread Op started…. yesterday

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/ami_being_unreasonable/5011247-parents-who-let-their-kids-stand-on-seats-in-public

You need a holiday OP. You sound very…. pissed off!!

Because I was in a queue behind them so naturally looking forwards and they kept turning round and looking at us, so had to keep trying to look away in a different direction. When they weren't turning looking at us, I could see their eyes darting looking at other people as they made their loud bantery jokes at each other, clearly to see who was listening and who would laugh with them

Yep they definitely were :) Pretty much everyone else I saw just chatted quietly amongst themselves. Yep was pretty pissed off as was subjected to them for a few hours so it became extremely irritating

Maybe they were trying to engage others in conversation to pass the time?

I still think it's hard to say without specific examples (and it seems to have changed from performance parenting to performance couple-bantering?) but it's a shame that people can't just chat and have fun without someone making a Mumsnet thread about them!

Half terms are at different times depending on where you live. Assuming that people are going on holiday in half term that is. People have been known to take kids out of school during term time you know

not everyone Is quiet though .I mean I know you said you were but some parents and their kids are just noisey especially on holiday they are excited, I get it's annoying but it doesn't mean that they were "performing "

I was in Daunt books a few weeks ago, in the children's section. Performative Mummy ostentatiously (and loudly) reading a book to her totally uninterested toddler. Just buy the book, take it home and read it loudly there, if you must.

95% of "performance parenting" on MN is just normal engagement in a way that irritates the OP because they parent differently. This particular case sounds more like people being generally loud and annoying, who because they have children with them are "performance parenting". Sounds like they are just loud irritating people tbh.

so… how long ago was this?