Ungrateful MIL - absolutely LIVID

[Lipbalmstrawberry]

It’s MIL’s birthday today and we went out for a meal at lunchtime. I gave her her gift which was a blouse from River Island and when she opened it she just was like “Eugh, I don’t think this will suit me. It probably won’t fit me either.” “Have you got the receipt? I’ll go in and change it when go into town on Friday. If not you can keep it I don’t like that.” all with a scowl on her face. I was completely aghast and fuming so I just lied and said I don’t have the receipt and put it back in my bag. Not a word of thanks! I felt even a bit humiliated to be honest.

The rest of the lunch was completely normal and she was talking to me as though nothing happened but inside I was absolutely seething and I still am to be honest. I wished I’d have told her to not be so rude! And she never even said thank you for the cake either!

WIBU to not bother with a cake and present next year? I’m thinking of not bothering after that reaction.

She was ungrateful. But you really shouldn't buy clothes as gifts for other people. I thought River island was for 13 year olds.

She was rude, just like some posters on this thread. Rude and ungrateful.
Buy her a ten pound voucher next time.
I wasn’t as rude as her when my FIL gave me a second hand stained cardigan he’d got from a Charity shop.

I see despite the many posters who have come along to tell you it was clear that OP has the receipt, you have chosen to ignore and not apologise.

Must be the MIL

I also find it an odd gift, and clearly it’s not in a style she would wear, she also felt it was far too small. Nevertheless, she should have just said thanks and donated to charity,

Your mother in law was incredibly rude and ungrateful! Please don't let het make you feel bad. She is the one with the problem. I'm gobsmacked that people actually behave that way!

Get your money back and buy yourself something nice with it. And don't even bother with a card, let alone a present, next year.

I adore my mil but in the many years I have been married, I’ve never once bought her birthday or Christmas gifts. It would be equally weird if my husband bought my mum presents.

She was rude, but don’t put yourself in that position again.

yes she was rude but honest! I’ve never understood the need to be polite about presents you don’t like.

This is what I wondered. Disinhibition can be a sign of cognitive problems. What’s she like normally, OP? Any changes in her behaviour?

It doesn't matter what you bought ir where you bought and whether it was a good choice or not.

She was unnecessarily rude & there's no justification for that.

DH handles her gifts from now on.

This 💯

How old is your MIL? I haven't been in River Island in about 15 years because I think most of the stuff is hideous! Genuinely don't know if I've ever bought anything in it.

She was rude yes. But lying to your face, and sticking the blouse in a bag for the charity shop might be seen as a different kind of rude.

Lesson learned. Don't buy her clothes anymore.

Edit: just see she's 68. I don't think River Island is aimed at 68 years olds 🤣

Yes it is a very rude response. My mum said similar at Christmas to my sister when she bought her a jumper. One reason I only buy my mum flowers or chocolates or nothing. If it was my MIL she would get nothing from now on. Leave it to your DH. We have stopped buying personal presents for anyone of that generation now as they all say they don't need anything or are very ungrateful for anything.

My late MIL was always buying me gifts of clothes at Christmas...and they were never my style. She'd usually get the size wrong, too. Drove me mad. But I'd accept them with a polite thank you and never asked for the receipt...luckily she usually bought from shops which would exchange without one.

I don't like anyone buying clothes for me, even my partner (unless he's with me at the time). No need for your MIL to be so fucking rude about it though. I'd tell your DH it's his mother, so he buys her presents going forward. I'd also be cutting the amount of contact I have with the rude old bitch.

Very rude. She could have simply thanked you at the table - and later advised it didn't suit at which point she could have asked for the receipt to return.
Basic manners really.

I've had seriously odd gifts in my time. The best one was given by my sons girlfriend, had absolutely no idea what it was but still managed to thank her.

Well from now on just leave it to DH to sort. Tell him you won't be spending your time at the shops for her again after this stunt, or getting involved with anything (cake included). What a spoiled brat she is, even children know to be more polite and grateful!

Totally agree. Some people enjoy mistreating people, there is absolutely no need for that!

How rude and ungrateful, I would not be happy.

That is so rude! We’ve all been bought things we don’t love and you just say thanks and smile. I would say to my DH I wasn’t being involved in the present buying and present giving process again and he can deal with it.

As has been said, a crap present should be recieved with as much appreciation as a fabulous one. "Oh how lovely! Thank you, I cant wait to try it on!"

Then a few days later "I tried on the lovely blouse you bought but it pulls a bit across the front/is a bit loose around the waist/whatever.....if you have the receipt I would like to exchange it, or get a credit note if you dont mind"

There are ways of doing these things. This wasnt it.

She was very rude
but
buying clothes for anyone other than young children is always risky

stick to candles, flowers, etc. ie easy stuff in future.

Your MIL was rude but I do think buying clothes for someone else is a risky business. I'd just let your DH get her presents from now on!

Op your MIL was very very rude and childishly ungrateful. @HarrogateHouseSale and @SushiMayo are possibly even more rude. Shoplifting my ass. It sounds like a lovely gift something she specifically asked for. I give clothing as a gift all the time! Every birthday and Christmas has some clothing gifts. I even bought a lovely silken nightgown and robe for a 40th birthday for a neighbor ( can you get more personal than that) and she LOVED it. Next year give MIL a card and a voucher to a grocery store. That’s bland and generic enough or perhaps the mythical MN chocolate orange. If you enjoy buying or making and eating cakes do that too and that’s it!! For every year grocery voucher and card/cake. People say stupid shit…an ex BF said he wanted white t shirts for birthday. I bought 12 white t shirts nice ones .. honestly they were expensive and he made fun of them in front of my children. I can still feel my shock and embarrassment. Grocery voucher and the woman can buy some radishes and hummus to celebrate her birthday.

Why is everyone banging on about what the gift was and whether it’s something they’d like to receive? 🙄

Unless the OP had handed MIL a 10 inch vein-covered dildo over the lunch table, it doesn’t matter what the gift is - the only appropriate response is to say thank you. Whether or not you like it is irrelevant. Most people with any kind of social awareness and basic manners understand this.

I honestly don’t understand how people can’t grasp this.

OP your MIL was incredibly rude, there’s no two ways about it. Reminds me of waitressing at a drinks party as a student, and the hostess squinted at a bottle someone had brought before saying ‘oh no, that’s not the kind of thing we drink’ and handing it back with a mumsnet tinkly laugh. I still can’t get over how incredibly crass it was.

Humm this was a gift for you ! You never have to bother buying a gift again for the rude woman