Annoyed by random man incidents

[IfYouLikePinaColadaaa]

Yes it’s not much in the scheme of things but I’m becoming increasingly annoyed by men in public (I’m sure women do these things too but 90% of the time it’s men in my experience).

Only today I was paying at the self service in Tesco, had the baby (in pram) and 4 year old with me. 6 checkouts, every other checkout was free. The second I tapped my card this man barged between me and the checkout I had used and started scanning his shopping, leaving me flustered as I gathered up my shopping and tried to pack it away while moving the pram and my other child away. The way it happened he’d clearly been waiting to do it, although why I have no idea.

Second occasion we were stood in another shop, a very big tall man comes round the corner of the aisle and rather than wait the split second for me to pull DD towards me so he could pass (was already doing this) he barged past her and almost knocked her over shouting ‘SORRY, SORRY’.

Gah. Yes it all sounds a bit petty written out but I’ve got PMT and have had a few of these incidences lately and am fed up.

What I can't understand is how do they simultaneously love themselves and believe they're the centre of the universe and have such fragile egos to the point where they're assaulting random women whilst out and about That's some messed up attitude. They need to get a grip.

I was once driving along a bog standard road at thirty mph when a man suddenly pulled out from a parking space on the side of the road right in front of me and I beeped him so he didn't hit me. Clearly enraged (not quite sure at what when he had almost driven into me) he wound his window down and started mouthing off at me when we ended up alongside each other at the next red light. What he hadn't anticipated was the fact that I was on my way home from the hospital after a tough day and having been the recipient of some bad news. I feel I should say I'd normally not respond in any way but I absolutely lost my shit at him and screamed back that it was his fault and basically went nuts myself. Totally out of character for me but my god was it not what he was expecting. His face fell and he quickly shut up, wound his window up and looked straight ahead until the lights changed. I was shaking afterwards, couldn't believe what I had said and how I had behaved but I hope it made him think twice the next time he tried to bully a lone woman driving at night. Twat

What lane were you in?

That's so weird. I'm surprised they went that way. I've only ever had the opposite. I had a man come up to me in a pub saying he didn't think I could control my dog properly. I looked perplexed as my dog was sat next to me perfectly and said he's well trained. It's not a concern for you. He said yeah but if something happened, you wouldn't be able to control him. He's well trained and I have had to control defend him from all the offlead dogs many a time. He is an American Akita at 50 plus kg. I was 80kg at the time, not exactly small. I wish I could make him growl on command.

I just stop and won't move.
I'm five foot nothing but I refuse to be treated so badly.

Some huge burly bloke tried it last week. Walking on a narrow footpath (you can pass people if you keep to the side) and he was striding along the middle. I just stopped walking when it became clear he wasn't moving over. He looked most affronted.

and this is how we do it, we face them down, bit by bit
(even so, please dont put yourself at risk!)

All you women saying you play Patriarchy Chicken, you're wrong, a man says you're wrong, despite describing why he walks into you not why you have decided to stop stepping aside for men so very clearly something completely different.

Why all the men being cunts?

I just make sure I take as long as I possibly fucking can to take my stuff off the scales if they do this to me. I'll let my 4yr old 'help' too which makes it take even longer.

But we still need to exist in a world dominated by men. You don't have to date them to experience this regular aggression from strangers.

@VampireWeekday that is true. But I gave up dating a long time ago because of all the rude, entitled men I can't be bothered to sift through any more.

A man once overtook and pulled up in front of dh's car on a narrow road where dh couldn't overtake, after he had inadvertently done some minor thing that annoyed the other driver. The bloke got out of his car and started approaching dh's. Dh was actually driving a very small car at the time, and we're certain the other guy made the sexist assumption that a woman must have been driving. Anyway, as he approached the car, dh got out of his car too. Road-rage guy was obviously not expecting to see my 6 foot six, rugby-player husband. He took one look, turned on his heel, and scarpered back to his own car.

Sometimes it's entitlement and sometimes it's a deliberate display of dominance. My husband used to regularly plough into me in our home, and act like I was insane for being outraged. His excuse was "you're always in the way" or "you should see me coming and move". To be clear he wouldn't ask or say excuse me, he'd just walk into me. I fucking hated it, it felt like being assaulted. It hurts, but more importantly, it's degrading because it reveals that they think you're so beneath them that you need to scuttle out of their way or deserve to be injured. He's also grab my rucksack handle when it was on my back if I was going the wrong way.

I've had men tread on my feet on purpose, jostle me in queues and on trains, square up to me when at work. I've just never had a woman thinking it's acceptable to put her hands on my like that.

Did you not notice it was masculinely re-named Attention Dominance? As in, they are paying more attention and it just happens to be dominant to women? Not their fault at all merely that they are naturally blessed with higher levels of focus, clearly

I had an incident recently which left me feeling slightly shaken (and I'm not easily shaken). Someone came by our house selling stuff and wanting us to sign up for a particular subscription service. It was 7pm so I was bathing my 1 year old with the older one about to jump in the bath. I'd agreed to take an important package for neighbours that day, so I removed the baby, grabbed a towel and hurried to the door, wrapping them on the way, in case it was the package. It was a cold night so baby wasn't very happy about being removed from the bath and in the freezing doorway. When I realised what this man wanted, I said politely "I'm sorry, this is not a good time, we were in the middle of bath time so I can't chat unfortunately." I received an earful of swearing and vitriol in return, about how I 'couldn't be fuckin' bothered to hear him out' and similar. All in earshot of my kids. It's the first time anything of that sort has ever happened to me at our house and I found it quite scary. I don't think a woman would ever feel entitled to behave in that way.

Yes but people doing those things aren't being deliberately aggressive and obnoxious. These men know what they're doing. It's deliberate.

I hope he's an ex husband or he's had a complete personality transplant?

I aggree with @PleasePleaseTellMeNow , he sounds sinister & V unpleasant @VampireWeekday

Please say he's an ex husband?

This thing about tall people tripping over small people and children…I’m 5’3” and surrounded by tall people. My husband is 6’2”, same as his brother, our son in law and his brother are both 6’3”.
One of our daughter’s is 6’, late MIL was 6’. None of them barge into people or trip over small kids. I’ve never noticed a trail people left behind, scattered like felled trees on footpaths when we’ve been out. The opposite in fact, DH notices obstacles ahead better than me, when out walking due to the height difference.

I had a recent road rage incident with the man who was driving the ACCESS bus in town.
So he had dropped his vulnerable and elderly passengers at our local shopping centre and I thought he was parked up. But no it turned out he was trying to reverse and there were some roadworks so half the road was blocked and other cars were struggling to park round the corner - which for some reason being that it was round a corner I couldn't see.
So when I got near the bus he randomly started shouting and doing 'wanker' signs at me! Which I found a bit dim me being a woman! Husband and young grand children in the car too.
Husband shot out of the car and asked him his name the driver continued effing and jeffing thinking the bloke would understand why he had to shout and gesticulate at his wife
I was bloody enraged and rang Dave's company and explained what their driver of vulnerable adults had been doing. The man on the other end of the phone said ok ok calm down love.
I said isn't that what you should be saying to your vile driver who has instigated a road rage incident.
No fucks given basically until my husband spoke as we were in the car and apologies started coming.
The best part was when we left town a few minutes later the bus was parked up with delightful Dave sat on his phone - so him already being blocked in and me making his agony last seconds longer was all because he was missing out on his phone time obviously.

🤣

I pulled up alongside a moron drive in his 20s tooting and racing after the car infront of him
As I pulled alongside I told him he should learn to drive.
Moron turned into my lane as I did a left turn and tooted tailgater me.
I was supposed to be threatened.
I wonder how long before he is sorted out legally or illegally.
Selfish, impatient attitudes.
Another was a man walking down the footpath while I was at traffic lights.
He picked up a e scooter and threw it into the shrubs.
It was hilarious...they park them in the way in my city or playgrounds, middle of footpaths.

I read all of these while waiting for my son's sport to finish. While leaving the car park a man drove in front of me, gesturing rudely that I was taking too long (son was looking for water bottle and climbing round car so I was distracted).

I was so worked up I wound down window about to give him a mouthful when my son said, "please don't mum, that's my teammate in the car!"

I did stop myself for my son's sake. But what an Busy and Important dick (and son decided to climb around car to find water bottle after I'd started driving, so there wasn't much I could do except drive slowly)

Sorry to tell you it’s not your “right of way”. It’s your “priority” and if the other driver doesn’t allow you that priority they can just keep going, it’s rude but no law against it.

Also the etiquette when driving is, if the car is on your side and you get there first you wait. The same as 2 people reaching a door at the same time. The one who gets their first usually politely opens for the other, they don’t just barge through because they got there first.