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Original poster

Annoyed by random man incidents

361 replies

IfYouLikePinaColadaaa · 19/02/2024 15:00

Yes it’s not much in the scheme of things but I’m becoming increasingly annoyed by men in public (I’m sure women do these things too but 90% of the time it’s men in my experience).

Only today I was paying at the self service in Tesco, had the baby (in pram) and 4 year old with me. 6 checkouts, every other checkout was free. The second I tapped my card this man barged between me and the checkout I had used and started scanning his shopping, leaving me flustered as I gathered up my shopping and tried to pack it away while moving the pram and my other child away. The way it happened he’d clearly been waiting to do it, although why I have no idea.

Second occasion we were stood in another shop, a very big tall man comes round the corner of the aisle and rather than wait the split second for me to pull DD towards me so he could pass (was already doing this) he barged past her and almost knocked her over shouting ‘SORRY, SORRY’.

Gah. Yes it all sounds a bit petty written out but I’ve got PMT and have had a few of these incidences lately and am fed up.

OP posts:
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6
HippyChickMama · 23/02/2024 10:04

When I was in my early twenties, now dh and I were in the car waiting at a busy junction, I was driving and there was a stream of traffic passing the junction and I was waiting for a gap to pull out. A man got out of his car, which was way back in the queue behind us, and came to stand next to my open car window and hurl abuse at me for not pulling out of the junction and holding him up. I took great pleasure in making eye contact with him while closing my window.
And another one that's very outing. I am a nurse by background and taught advanced life support as part of my job. I gave backslaps to someone in a restaurant who was choking while out for lunch and was successful in removing the food from their airway. I was getting a drink afterwards and a man approached me to congratulate me for acting quickly and said it was brave, I thanked him but explained that I'm a nurse, and I just see it as part of my job. He continued to stand there staring at me and then said 'well, it's admirable that you had a go, but shouldn't you have done the Heimlech manoeuvre?'
Not aggressive in this instance but a classic example of man knows best!

Scully01 · 23/02/2024 10:55

Goldbar · 20/02/2024 20:45

I had an incident recently which left me feeling slightly shaken (and I'm not easily shaken). Someone came by our house selling stuff and wanting us to sign up for a particular subscription service. It was 7pm so I was bathing my 1 year old with the older one about to jump in the bath. I'd agreed to take an important package for neighbours that day, so I removed the baby, grabbed a towel and hurried to the door, wrapping them on the way, in case it was the package. It was a cold night so baby wasn't very happy about being removed from the bath and in the freezing doorway. When I realised what this man wanted, I said politely "I'm sorry, this is not a good time, we were in the middle of bath time so I can't chat unfortunately." I received an earful of swearing and vitriol in return, about how I 'couldn't be fuckin' bothered to hear him out' and similar. All in earshot of my kids. It's the first time anything of that sort has ever happened to me at our house and I found it quite scary. I don't think a woman would ever feel entitled to behave in that way.

I had similar happen a while ago where I politely tried to close the door on a man working for a cancer charity, who wanted me to sign up for direct debit. "He ended with I hope you're never affected by cancer!" Jeezo. Now I would complain to the specific charity about the incident, did you try doing that? So many arseholes out there.

Biddie191 · 23/02/2024 16:27

Saddlesore · 22/02/2024 14:44

Swim lanes are the worst! I swam competitively as a teenager and still regularly plough up and down my local pool for fitness. So many times I have been subjected to d**kish behaviour by men - and, I'm sorry, it is nearly always men - because their fragile egos cannot accept that a woman might be a stronger, faster swimmer than them.

An example - I had the rare luxury of having a lane completely to myself. So was a bit agog when a man joined it barely a body length in front of me. Why, just why? Would it have killed him to join the lane when I was at the opposite side so we each had plenty of space? Fortunately, I was soon able to overtake him. Several times.

So many times, in a busy lane it is obvious that I am right on the heels of the swimmer in front. Women tend to be more aware and pause at the lane end to allow me to pass: men rarely do.

Show quote history

Absolutely this - why join right o the toes of the girl in front, or right in front of her? Purely about intimidation.
Many's the time my daughter would initially be patronised when she got in the pool, asked if she could cope with the speed, distance etc by men, but once they realised she was fitter and quicker, some would go out of their way to be aggressive, cut her up, swim over her etc. She was 16, looked 13 at the oldest. So very fragile

Ifulikepinacoladas · 23/02/2024 16:37

Scully01 · 23/02/2024 15:16

Oh wow... I know she says why she didn't set him straight in the article, but how frustrating?! A missed opportunity really. He'll have gone off really happy that he had imparted some of his wisdom and skills...

hellsBells246 · 23/02/2024 16:49

Come on @ThisOldThang - Maybe you were below his field of vision? I'm 6'1” and sometimes find myself bumping into short people (e.g. 5 foot).

🙄🙄 You must spend your entire life bumping into children, toddlers etc. That's just stupid. Most people know to look down and around when they're walking.

FictionalCharacter · 23/02/2024 16:58

Yanbu and please don’t blame your PMS for you disliking bad behaviour from strange men.
What they are doing is an assertion of dominance over women.

TeabySea · 23/02/2024 20:18

sumayyah · 22/02/2024 10:22

I work out with my daughter at the gym, she has physical disabilities along with autism and other conditions
We were on the chest press and I was talking away to her while she tried to push 10kg and this absolute bell end came up to us clapping in my face while shouting "more working, less talking" which instantly shut my daughter down and she started with her motor tics

Daft thing is the idiot had been standing chatting to the trainer who knows us both very well so clearly should take his own "advice"
He then blocked another woman who was trying to head into the weights area until she walked off back to the cardio zone

Thankfully he's definitely the minority in our gym, the rest of the lifters for the most part don't give two hoots what women are doing

I'd have clapped right in his face and said, "Less interrupting, more minding your own business"

PawsisShady · 23/02/2024 20:19

I live in an apartment and the elderly guy upstairs seemed to have a real issue with women, particularly the fact I lived alone

He started complaining about cooking smells - I cook fairly standard food like pasta bake, cottage pie etc. My dad was always "he's elderly, be nice" Hmm

One day I was making a casserole, my dad was here and commented it looked nice. Next thing there is this hammering on my door, I open it and it's upstairs screaming at me "your fucking cooking smells... blah blah"
I open the door a bit further, he sees my dad and his face just dropped. My dad went out and basically said "you ever fucking touch that door again and I will tell her to ring the police" he was horrified he had told me to be nice and he hadn't realised how awful he was being

Upstairs also told the house a few doors down she needed to take her washing in as it was letting the road down. Her husband stuck his head out the window and asked if he could help and upstairs scuttled off again

MyopicBunny · 23/02/2024 21:58

NewYearNewPyjamas · 22/02/2024 20:21

I never put this down to my sex at the time but actually, this thread has made me think differently. Maybe 15 years ago there was a junction on a busy road that led to the town centre. A man in a van pulled out on me and I beeped with a pissed off look on my face while slamming my brakes on. It was incredibly close. He stopped and shouted at me through the window and as a non shrinking violet, I shouted back equally. I would have been 21ish and he was at least 40. I drove off and he was behind me. There was parking on the side of the road a little distance later so I stopped to parallel park, this was opposite a bus stop with loads of people watching. He actively sped up and went into the back of me. I saw him in my mirror desperately trying to put it back into first gear and move forward. Then got out the van screaming at me etc. said things that made it seem like he'd got one up on me because it would be seen as my fault. I saw the cogs turn when I said it was his fault as I saw him speed up and it was him that went into the back of me. A lady came over from the bus stop to help me.

He made it all very dramatic, called the police etc. he then came in my face screaming that I needed to move the car as we were blocking the road. I said I wasn't moving until I received a call from the police as what was the point in them coming if the scene no longer remained. He said he was on the phone to the police. He did allow me to use his phone to speak to the person and I asked how was I to know that she wasn't his mate. She told me to look up at a camera and she could see me there. Described the scene, so we moved.

He then told his insurance it was my fault as I slammed on my brakes so they wanted 50/50. I remembered the camera footage and they said he was at fault. Would he have done that to a man?

I thought a driver going into the back of you is always their fault? That's what I was told by my insurance company.

NewYearNewPyjamas · 23/02/2024 22:21

@MyopicBunny not if the driver at the front slams their brakes on. It used to be always the driver at the back until essentially too many claims occurred where people were slamming their brakes on knowing it would cause an accident but wouldn't be their fault. The "If not but for" rule. Yes they should have been keeping a better distance but they are trying to cause a crash. It's been like that a long time. I later worked in car insurance

CharDee · 25/02/2024 13:28

I was at the cinema with DS and a man behind me was with a boy around 4 or 5. The man was on his phone, as in making and answering calls. He was not making an effort to speak quietly, in fact he was talking louder because of the noise of the film, so it was very distracting and just rude. I turned around and asked "Would you please mind taking that outside to talk or just end your call? I can't hear the film." He replied "Shut the fuck up and turn around you fat slag." I did turn back around because I was with DS, it was a child's film so there were loads of kids in there and I didn't want to make a big scene. My plan was to go and get someone but in the 5 seconds from me turning round he had ended his call with a "Fucks sake, I'll have to call you back later."

About 10 minutes pass and his phone rings again, it was not on silent. He answers and starts talking again. Before I have a chance, a man sat on my row turns around and says "Mate, were trying to watch this. Get off your phone." This man was not called a fat slag or told to fuck off and he didn't talk on his phone again but I did hear it ding a few times.

At the end of the film, we left and walked out. He stops me in the foyer and gets right up in my face and says "Don't you ever fucking speak to me like that again you stupid bitch." I just laughed in his face and said "I am so embarrassed for you." He didn't like this very much and his face literally went red with how angry he was, I went to walk away and he stepped to the side to block me and did this again when I tried to move.

I said "I'm trying to get past, so you need to move out of my way please." He then said "You're not going anywhere, you're going to apologise to me."

Now it's a big foyer so I can quite easily get around him but I genuinely think he would have chased me round like we were playing tag or something to stop me from moving because he was clearly unhinged. So I went to walk around him and he stepped in front of me again. Another man walked past and saw and looked at me and asked if I was ok. I said "No, this man seems to be upset with me and apparently isn't going to let me leave." He then said "You're ok love, you can walk away and he won't stop you this time." So I did and unsurprisingly the other man didn't stop me. But he did shout after me
"Yeah walk away you stupid bitch."

I feel so sorry for the boy he was with if that's the example set for him. DS said afterwards that he was scared the man was going to hit me and asked me if I was scared. I definitely was but don't think I

CharDee · 25/02/2024 13:30

Showed it as much as I could have!

OhamIreally · 25/02/2024 14:08

@CharDee gosh that's so awful I can imagine how much your heart must have been pounding.

Obviously a horrible aggressive man. Pity the mother of that child.

I think many men have no idea how often this type of thing happens to women and how much we moderate our behaviour in anticipation of it potentially occurring.

As many of the posts show as soon as another man pops up the aggression is curtailed so men don't understand how prevalent this is.

2mummies1baby · 25/02/2024 17:10

OhamIreally · 25/02/2024 14:08

@CharDee gosh that's so awful I can imagine how much your heart must have been pounding.

Obviously a horrible aggressive man. Pity the mother of that child.

I think many men have no idea how often this type of thing happens to women and how much we moderate our behaviour in anticipation of it potentially occurring.

As many of the posts show as soon as another man pops up the aggression is curtailed so men don't understand how prevalent this is.

"As many of the posts show as soon as another man pops up the aggression is curtailed so men don't understand how prevalent this is."

That is such a good point! Had never occurred to me before, but you're absolutely right.

makeupme · 25/02/2024 18:45

@CharDee It's scary they think they can get away with that in a public place, seemingly increasingly. Luckily the guy saw and actually did something. I always regret not intervening when I saw a man pulling a woman along the pavement by her hair calling her a "fucking bitch" etc etc. I was with toddler DD at the time and he was right outside the police station. Other pedestrians turned to see it all too and no one stopped him while we were in sight. So horrific and still plagues me.

makeupme · 25/02/2024 18:46

To be clear, if I hadn't been alone with DD I like to think I would have acted differently.

MyopicBunny · 25/02/2024 20:52

CharDee · 25/02/2024 13:28

I was at the cinema with DS and a man behind me was with a boy around 4 or 5. The man was on his phone, as in making and answering calls. He was not making an effort to speak quietly, in fact he was talking louder because of the noise of the film, so it was very distracting and just rude. I turned around and asked "Would you please mind taking that outside to talk or just end your call? I can't hear the film." He replied "Shut the fuck up and turn around you fat slag." I did turn back around because I was with DS, it was a child's film so there were loads of kids in there and I didn't want to make a big scene. My plan was to go and get someone but in the 5 seconds from me turning round he had ended his call with a "Fucks sake, I'll have to call you back later."

About 10 minutes pass and his phone rings again, it was not on silent. He answers and starts talking again. Before I have a chance, a man sat on my row turns around and says "Mate, were trying to watch this. Get off your phone." This man was not called a fat slag or told to fuck off and he didn't talk on his phone again but I did hear it ding a few times.

At the end of the film, we left and walked out. He stops me in the foyer and gets right up in my face and says "Don't you ever fucking speak to me like that again you stupid bitch." I just laughed in his face and said "I am so embarrassed for you." He didn't like this very much and his face literally went red with how angry he was, I went to walk away and he stepped to the side to block me and did this again when I tried to move.

I said "I'm trying to get past, so you need to move out of my way please." He then said "You're not going anywhere, you're going to apologise to me."

Now it's a big foyer so I can quite easily get around him but I genuinely think he would have chased me round like we were playing tag or something to stop me from moving because he was clearly unhinged. So I went to walk around him and he stepped in front of me again. Another man walked past and saw and looked at me and asked if I was ok. I said "No, this man seems to be upset with me and apparently isn't going to let me leave." He then said "You're ok love, you can walk away and he won't stop you this time." So I did and unsurprisingly the other man didn't stop me. But he did shout after me
"Yeah walk away you stupid bitch."

I feel so sorry for the boy he was with if that's the example set for him. DS said afterwards that he was scared the man was going to hit me and asked me if I was scared. I definitely was but don't think I

I would have threatened to call the police - what a nasty piece of work. Sorry that happened to you.

chiwwy · 25/02/2024 21:01

CharDee · 25/02/2024 13:28

I was at the cinema with DS and a man behind me was with a boy around 4 or 5. The man was on his phone, as in making and answering calls. He was not making an effort to speak quietly, in fact he was talking louder because of the noise of the film, so it was very distracting and just rude. I turned around and asked "Would you please mind taking that outside to talk or just end your call? I can't hear the film." He replied "Shut the fuck up and turn around you fat slag." I did turn back around because I was with DS, it was a child's film so there were loads of kids in there and I didn't want to make a big scene. My plan was to go and get someone but in the 5 seconds from me turning round he had ended his call with a "Fucks sake, I'll have to call you back later."

About 10 minutes pass and his phone rings again, it was not on silent. He answers and starts talking again. Before I have a chance, a man sat on my row turns around and says "Mate, were trying to watch this. Get off your phone." This man was not called a fat slag or told to fuck off and he didn't talk on his phone again but I did hear it ding a few times.

At the end of the film, we left and walked out. He stops me in the foyer and gets right up in my face and says "Don't you ever fucking speak to me like that again you stupid bitch." I just laughed in his face and said "I am so embarrassed for you." He didn't like this very much and his face literally went red with how angry he was, I went to walk away and he stepped to the side to block me and did this again when I tried to move.

I said "I'm trying to get past, so you need to move out of my way please." He then said "You're not going anywhere, you're going to apologise to me."

Now it's a big foyer so I can quite easily get around him but I genuinely think he would have chased me round like we were playing tag or something to stop me from moving because he was clearly unhinged. So I went to walk around him and he stepped in front of me again. Another man walked past and saw and looked at me and asked if I was ok. I said "No, this man seems to be upset with me and apparently isn't going to let me leave." He then said "You're ok love, you can walk away and he won't stop you this time." So I did and unsurprisingly the other man didn't stop me. But he did shout after me
"Yeah walk away you stupid bitch."

I feel so sorry for the boy he was with if that's the example set for him. DS said afterwards that he was scared the man was going to hit me and asked me if I was scared. I definitely was but don't think I

What a dickhead he was. You did brilliantly.

If it’s any comfort, the coward will think twice before trying the same on another woman.

Moonlightdust · 25/02/2024 21:08

CharDee · 25/02/2024 13:28

I was at the cinema with DS and a man behind me was with a boy around 4 or 5. The man was on his phone, as in making and answering calls. He was not making an effort to speak quietly, in fact he was talking louder because of the noise of the film, so it was very distracting and just rude. I turned around and asked "Would you please mind taking that outside to talk or just end your call? I can't hear the film." He replied "Shut the fuck up and turn around you fat slag." I did turn back around because I was with DS, it was a child's film so there were loads of kids in there and I didn't want to make a big scene. My plan was to go and get someone but in the 5 seconds from me turning round he had ended his call with a "Fucks sake, I'll have to call you back later."

About 10 minutes pass and his phone rings again, it was not on silent. He answers and starts talking again. Before I have a chance, a man sat on my row turns around and says "Mate, were trying to watch this. Get off your phone." This man was not called a fat slag or told to fuck off and he didn't talk on his phone again but I did hear it ding a few times.

At the end of the film, we left and walked out. He stops me in the foyer and gets right up in my face and says "Don't you ever fucking speak to me like that again you stupid bitch." I just laughed in his face and said "I am so embarrassed for you." He didn't like this very much and his face literally went red with how angry he was, I went to walk away and he stepped to the side to block me and did this again when I tried to move.

I said "I'm trying to get past, so you need to move out of my way please." He then said "You're not going anywhere, you're going to apologise to me."

Now it's a big foyer so I can quite easily get around him but I genuinely think he would have chased me round like we were playing tag or something to stop me from moving because he was clearly unhinged. So I went to walk around him and he stepped in front of me again. Another man walked past and saw and looked at me and asked if I was ok. I said "No, this man seems to be upset with me and apparently isn't going to let me leave." He then said "You're ok love, you can walk away and he won't stop you this time." So I did and unsurprisingly the other man didn't stop me. But he did shout after me
"Yeah walk away you stupid bitch."

I feel so sorry for the boy he was with if that's the example set for him. DS said afterwards that he was scared the man was going to hit me and asked me if I was scared. I definitely was but don't think I

What a horrible disgusting man who clearly had an issue with a female addressing his rude behaviour.

SweetBirdsong · 26/02/2024 10:21

hellsBells246 · 23/02/2024 16:49

Come on @ThisOldThang - Maybe you were below his field of vision? I'm 6'1” and sometimes find myself bumping into short people (e.g. 5 foot).

🙄🙄 You must spend your entire life bumping into children, toddlers etc. That's just stupid. Most people know to look down and around when they're walking.

Yeah this. ^ How bizarre to say if you're 6 foot 1 that you constantly bump into short people because you can't see them!!! PMSL! 😆😂

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 26/02/2024 11:17

Swim lanes are the worst!

Oh god, yes. I got into a shouting match with a man at the pool because he tried to push in front of me - he literally just swam across from his lane into mine, knocking me out the way. He was even more incensed that I'd stood up to him in front of everyone. Then there was the man who used to plough up and down in a snorkel and flippers, giving the sort of water displacement you'd associate with a drowning babboon, and woe betide anyone who got in his way.

Someone I used to know actually had a man swim over the top of her.

Being able to swim faster than a man really seems to push their buttons. Sadly, holding them under the water until the bubbles stop isn't accepted pool etiquette.

Gloriosaford · 26/02/2024 12:06

He was even more incensed that I'd stood up to him in front of everyone
That's the one isn't it, he's happy to humiliate you but he can't cope if you turn the tables.
It can be a dangerous move, some men are likely to snap if you make them look stupid in front of other people.
(I'm not saying they don't richly deserve it, but safety first)

Dearg · 26/02/2024 12:28

Sadly, holding them under the water until the bubbles stop…

😂oh I wish ,

shearwater2 · 26/02/2024 12:43

Where do you all live? Can't say I've experienced being punished out of the way or felt flustered by someone being too close. Perhaps people where I live are just nicer or perhaps I'm so old they feel sorry for me.

Well, MN readership is global though I'd guess mostly in the UK. I think it's safe to say that people on this thread do not live in the same town particularly full of boorish men and that unfortunately these men are everywhere.

Oddly the worst supermarket for men being rude is Waitrose, for me. I have had no issue in Tesco, Lidl, Aldi or Sainsbury's whatsoever. I don't even shop in there very often but three or four times a man pushing a trolley has tried to shunt me along with the trolley in the till queue. Perhaps it's the same man and he does it every time he's there, the Phantom Trolley Shunter of Old Waitrose Town, but I doubt it.