Annoyed by random man incidents

[IfYouLikePinaColadaaa]

Yes it’s not much in the scheme of things but I’m becoming increasingly annoyed by men in public (I’m sure women do these things too but 90% of the time it’s men in my experience).

Only today I was paying at the self service in Tesco, had the baby (in pram) and 4 year old with me. 6 checkouts, every other checkout was free. The second I tapped my card this man barged between me and the checkout I had used and started scanning his shopping, leaving me flustered as I gathered up my shopping and tried to pack it away while moving the pram and my other child away. The way it happened he’d clearly been waiting to do it, although why I have no idea.

Second occasion we were stood in another shop, a very big tall man comes round the corner of the aisle and rather than wait the split second for me to pull DD towards me so he could pass (was already doing this) he barged past her and almost knocked her over shouting ‘SORRY, SORRY’.

Gah. Yes it all sounds a bit petty written out but I’ve got PMT and have had a few of these incidences lately and am fed up.

I am also a very small female primary school teacher and, my god, the number of dads who have tried to intimidate me over the years! They soon learn I am far more intimidating than they could ever hope to be.

They are also very keen to tell me how I should be teaching Maths, until I tell them I have a degree in the subject...

This is completely unacceptable! Everyone's taller than small children but it's not OK to constantly barge into them, is it? You jeez to become more observant, that's why your neck moves - before you injure someone!

I suggest you start to pay more attention to where you're going. That smacks of laziness and a lack of consideration.

It’s called patriarchy chicken- the way that men just walk without moving and the women who step out of the way

My niece has a customer-facing job. She told me recently that in this role her email address is very masculine sounding as it's using a shortened version of her name. So think for example [email protected] .

She said her work has been transformed! No push back if she says no to refunds, people being polite all the time, much more friendly, less entitlement. Her colleague with a more female sounding email address is not having this experience with the same customer base.

Reminded me of the story where 2 professionals swapped email accounts and the man couldn't believe how awkward people were being whilst the woman had a brilliant week.

This is so annoying. I get this with swimming fairly regularly. I now interrupt and ask at what level they competed at as if it's not higher than mine, well I don't need their advice. So many open mouthed at the idea that this 45 year old woman was once a competitive swimmer!

@ThisOldThang had me laughing there, sure you’re on the wind up but you might want to add a lighthearted tag to that!

A very similar ’give way’ incident happened to me. The guy actually rolled down his window to shout at me and was absolutely ENRAGED that I didn’t roll my window down to take a scolding. I just turned my radio up, smiled, and went on my merry way. They hate that 🥰

Yeah, I've seen a version of this too. My daughter rides horses to quite an advanced level and there is a girl in her lessons who has a dad who goes on and on and on at his poor daughter, critiquing her riding. One day I said to him 'oh, are you a riding instructor?' To which he replied 'oh no, I've never even sat on a horse' . Hilarious. I feel very sorry for his child.

Oh behave 😂😂😂😂😂

Unless you were serious, in which case "🙄"

Men online get very goady too - I used to assume it was bots and try to let it go but I've been getting men on instagram insisting that no one listens to their interests so they don't ever share them. When I point out that women find intelligence sexy they immediately go on the offensive about how women just care about hair and nails, before I ask if they have ever tried to date someone who they meet in a setting related to their "interest"...they never have and usually say they've picked women younger who are unlikely to be interested in "building" although one guy insisted no woman was ever interested in "ancient history" . They all said it was women's fault they didn't talk about their interests.

I am 5'4" and size 8, but strong, and I always come off better than the man when I play Patriarchy Chicken because I am much more solid than I look. I have several successful man bounces under my belt!

Recently I had an altercation on the road with a man in a huge van who was completely at fault, but he took exception to my facial expression and stopped, wound down his window and asked me what my problem was. He was clearly expecting me to drive off abashed and was absolutely astounded when I wound my own window down and explained that my problem was that his poor driving had just forced me onto the grass verge... He just wound up his window and drove away. Fragile masculinity in action.

I was thinking about why some men sit next to lone women on public transport when there are plenty of spare seats. I think I know the answer:

• They don't want to have a random man sit next to them when the train starts filling up. If they are seen sat next to another man someone might think they are a couple!

Of course it isn't all men. Only the insecure ones with fragile egos.

Last week, while walking in AONB with DDs aged 10 and 14, our friendly schnauzer toddled over to a man who was walking in the opposite direction, sniffed his foot and toddled off again. As we passed each other I quipped “she’ll have your leg off! Ha!” And he snarled in reply “if she does I’ll kill her”.

i was gobsmacked by his aggression. I wonder whether he would have been so aggressive if I’d been with DH. Used it as a learning experience in - you can never tell who is going to be an utter arsehole - for the girls.

There was a discussion online about cat calling, recently and there were some very aggressive men shouting at me in capitals about how the world is now full of misandry and everyone hates men (poor things). Because I pointed out that it's intimidating for people to do this and that my 20 year old daughter hates it and doesn't see it as a compliment.

Of course they don't, men usually push back much harder he won't want to risk it it's much more fun to try and intimidate a woman.
If anyone tries to talk to me in the middle of a set I completely ignore them, ditto men who sit on a bench and stare at me to try and intimidate me off of the equipment that I'm using.

I think that what is making men aggressive is that there is now a push back against their constant harassment of women and speaking to us like shit. Generation Z also won't take it lying down.

I agree.
It's a backlash, women are increasingly no longer willing to defer to them, they are losing their advantage and they don't like it.
They no longer have the leverage that they used to, they are losing the whip hand.

I did this a couple of years ago. I was pulling out of a small coop car park when a man in a BMW came tearing into the car park and expected me to reverse right in and wait for him to park. There was room to get past me, but he'd decided that he wanted a certain parking spot and I was in his way. I shook my head, turned my engine off and started to play Ludo on my phone. He was aghast and furious. Adult ds was with me and we just shrugged. He eventually pulled to the side and let me out.

I shoved one to the ground once many moons ago.

My mum lived in France and was recovering from breast cancer. Mastectomy, turban, and a permanent compression tube on one of her arms dealing with lymphatic fluid after removal. She was going through checkout and I'd gone to get myself a hair dryer iirc.
Joined the queue to see a guy physically shove her out the way as she was taking her card out to pay so that he could lob his stuff onto the conveyor belt. He'd caught her with the shove on the tubed arm which was sore and hurt her plus nearly knocking her off her feet as she was still pretty weak. She hadn't even been moving slowly or blocking the line but he was in a rush so thought bulldozing a woman who clearly had cancer to anybody with eyes was fair game.
I went down to the front end of the checkout, got between him and her, and in a fit of pure temper shoved him both hands in the chest with enough force to land him on his arse. Was relieved to note that as he sat there with his arms outstretched and looking round appealing for support/witnesses that everybody else looked away and hadn't seen a damned thing.

Im fortunate in that I have the stature and physicality to know that I can do that if pressed, so I dont concede ground to men and take up the same space that they do. But Ive seen them try and barge women so many times it's unreal.

I was in the queue in a Tesco express store, one checkout was open and because the basket was heavy I put it on the floor and was pushing it along with my foot as the queue moved forward. Someone behind me shouted ‘MOVE!’ at the same as I was propelled forward by an old man poking me in the back with his walking stick. I asked what the fuck was he playing at.
Apparently he didn’t think I was moving fast enough. I took my time at the till, packing my shopping.
I’ve had four powerful sports cars and I’ve been tailgated, cut up, undertaken more than I care to remember. Usually by knob heads driving low powered car the size of rollerboot. The looks on their faces when I left them standing was a joy to see.

My first name is not shortened and is an entire name in its own right, but some people do use it as a shortened version of a longer name. A similar example would be Eliza which could be a shortening of Elizabeth, but often isn't.

Anyway, a man was once so adamant that I was lying to him and refusing to tell him my full name that he grabbed a set of keys I was holding and threw them over a wall, while shouting at me that I was lying and should just 'admit' that my name is "Elizabeth".

I had met him that day. I don't know why he thought he had the right to any information about me, or why he was so adamant that my name was really "Elizabeth" and I just didn't want anyone to know.

In hindsight, maybe women pick up on this guys vibe and do avoid telling him their real names. Wouldn't blame them.

Fortunately (ish?) a friend of his saw this happen and went and got the keys back for me but I still can't understand why he was so angry at me about my name and so desperate to believe I was lying to him.

It would be nice to stick a foot out at a right angle when these men barge past you on the pavement.

I've almost had my shoulder taken off by this barging behaviour before. I wonder what's the matter with them. What reason would they give if asked why they do it? I expect they're all wife beaters behind closed doors.

My DP and I were recently driving down a narrow country lane. As we got about 250 yards from the junction, a long van came flying round the corner on the wrong side of the road. Carried on driving towards us, past the passing point, and then demanded we pulled over and pulled our mirrors in so he could get round us. It was pointed out that he needed to reverse to the passing point, as there wasn't room on our side due to the hedges.

Once he reversed and we were able to pass him, he shouted 'you selfish fat slag' and spat through his window at our car.

Oddly, it was my DP (male) driving and I hadn't even opened my mouth...

I was so proud of my 3yo dd yesterday for playing, and winning, patriarchy chicken. We were on the Underground and she was walking along holding on to a bar on the wall (because it was there). Random Man came walking towards us, half concentrating on his phone (not holding the bar at all). He obviously expected her to move out the way but she wouldn't, and I didn't say anything. He looked most surprised at having to move round her. My dd will go far, I feel.