Annoyed by random man incidents

[IfYouLikePinaColadaaa]

Yes it’s not much in the scheme of things but I’m becoming increasingly annoyed by men in public (I’m sure women do these things too but 90% of the time it’s men in my experience).

Only today I was paying at the self service in Tesco, had the baby (in pram) and 4 year old with me. 6 checkouts, every other checkout was free. The second I tapped my card this man barged between me and the checkout I had used and started scanning his shopping, leaving me flustered as I gathered up my shopping and tried to pack it away while moving the pram and my other child away. The way it happened he’d clearly been waiting to do it, although why I have no idea.

Second occasion we were stood in another shop, a very big tall man comes round the corner of the aisle and rather than wait the split second for me to pull DD towards me so he could pass (was already doing this) he barged past her and almost knocked her over shouting ‘SORRY, SORRY’.

Gah. Yes it all sounds a bit petty written out but I’ve got PMT and have had a few of these incidences lately and am fed up.

I’ve had my fair share of cat calling and sexual stuff when young and aggressiveness from men now I’m older.

I wonder if years ago when the patriarchy was stronger and as a society women deferred to men, that public politeness to women by men (holding doors open etc) was because men had the choice to bestow it on women as a gift. Therefore, in their eyes, becoming a ‘true gentleman’.

But is no longer their ‘gift’, it is a woman’s right.

Now with an older generation of women who don’t want to take that shit no more, and a younger generation of women expecting far more equality with men, there’s a subsection of men feeling the need to assert their masculinity at any time they feel women are infringing their ‘natural’ rights.

Just another thought. Perhaps most men live in an instinctive hierarchy with other men. Bigger, richer, older/younger men feel superior to other men just as they go about their business from day to day. The smaller/poorer men often feel their lesser status with other men. But all these men can feel superior to women in most cases. or it’s payback to women for these men having less status from other men.

Im not saying that’s it’s all deliberate, but that men get used to living in a more hierarchical and competitive world with other men, and that gets transferred onto women when they interact with women in public places.

Anyway, it’s just a thought. But if true, that definitely is a case of toxic masculinity and does neither sex a service.

Thought I’d add this - random bloke tells female PGA professional how to do her golf swing. She was unbelievably polite!

x.com/EmiliaRxse/status/1760335913593225602?s=20

What a dipshit this man is! 😆 If the (female) golfer had been around 45 or older, she'd have told him to fuck off. Middle aged women/Generation X don't tolerate mansplaining.

He was not just 'helping' as he would never had done this to a man. Only if said man asked for the help. Why was she so polite?!

Perhaps most men live in an instinctive hierarchy with other men. Bigger, richer, older/younger men feel superior to other men just as they go about their business from day to day. The smaller/poorer men often feel their lesser status with other men. But all these men can feel superior to women in most cases
@Iamnotawinp
I agree with this. Previously even the most lowly man was secure in the knowledge that all women were beneath him, but now women are no longer prepared to automatically defer to men and so the men at the bottom are truly at the bottom . . .and they are very angry about it.

Just a couple of weeks ago I was stewarding at an event. My job was to check a particular piece of sports equipment for every competitor to make sure that it was compliant with the rules. Competitors are given a time for their event, and asked to register to the check 15 minutes before time, so there's plenty of time to check properly, and gives time to sort out a replacement if it fails.
As always, had a few awkward people, arguing despite the rules being very clear, and printed out next to me. One particular man rocked up at his start time (rather than the 15 minutes before) and tried to push past the check area. I called him over, explaining that he couldn't compete until it had been checked. He did the usual "Well it's compliant, I've used it before at x competition etc, you're going to make me late." When I insisted (knowing that he'd not be able to compete without, and it would hold up subsequent competitors) he got right up in my face, pointy finger and all, really aggressively and started shouting about how he'd been too busy to be earlier. Made a bit of a tit of himself in front of a bunch of other competitors, who all seemed rather bemused by it all. The worst thing is, it's someone who I know, and who coaches children in a different sport.
He's only about 5'5" tall, not sure if this has any bearing - I've had as bad from tall men too, TBH. I'm short.

I don't need random men to treat me like a precious metal. Just basic human decency will do.

TRUE! Even my own (mostly decent) DH gets a little bit sniffy and very slightly butthurt, if I think of a good idea, (that he didn't think of first,) and if he does congratulate me he does it through gritted teeth. 😁Over the years I have found ways to make him think he thought of stuff, or said a man I know suggested it. 'Oh Dave at work said THIS would be a good idea to do with our flowerbeds and lawn.' Because a MAN suggested it, he goes with it.

I don't do it now, I just spill out my good ideas, and if he doesn't like or compliment them, I don't give a shiny shite. If I like something, or think something is a good idea, that's enough for me. He if doesn't approve IDGAF. I don't need his approval for ANYthing. I don't need ANYone's approval actually.

I am better at a lot of things than DH is, and it has made him gloomy and arsey sometimes in the past, but this past decade or so, he doesn't care quite as much. A BIT but not much. He even acknowledges occasionally that I am cleverer than him (academically.) He's right.

They're probably just sick of being held up by some women faffing about constantly. I know I am.

Is it still half term?

Must be with inane and laughable remarks like that @Vegemiteandhoneyontoast

Swim lanes are the worst! I swam competitively as a teenager and still regularly plough up and down my local pool for fitness. So many times I have been subjected to d**kish behaviour by men - and, I'm sorry, it is nearly always men - because their fragile egos cannot accept that a woman might be a stronger, faster swimmer than them.

An example - I had the rare luxury of having a lane completely to myself. So was a bit agog when a man joined it barely a body length in front of me. Why, just why? Would it have killed him to join the lane when I was at the opposite side so we each had plenty of space? Fortunately, I was soon able to overtake him. Several times.

So many times, in a busy lane it is obvious that I am right on the heels of the swimmer in front. Women tend to be more aware and pause at the lane end to allow me to pass: men rarely do.

Perfect Karma!

There is an article about this by LBC on Facebook. The comments section is mostly men acting hurt and missing the point.

I have one to add although not related to driving or walking.

Several years ago I was at a music festival with DH and DC who were primary age. I have a disability and use a mobility scooter. The festival was quite a small one with a folky vibe and there was a band that I had been really looking forward to.

Unfortunately the viewing platform for wheelchairs was full and a very nice steward helped me find a position which would give me a good view.

Just before the band started some random twat in his boden polo shirt came and stood directly in front of me so I couldn't see a bloody thing. I couldn't manoeuvre so as to speak to him and DH had taken the kids off to some activity. Anyway, the very kind steward went to ask him if he would mind moving a few feet to one side so that I could see. Apparently he said "no, I have paid for my ticket and I can stand wherever I want to". The steward told me this because she felt bad and wanted to let me know that she had asked on my behalf. I said that I appreciated her efforts but not to upset herself over it. Am sad to say that when you're in a mobility scooter you get used feeling invisible.

I still enjoyed the concert but it was more galling that after it finished I heard him on his mobile telling someone that he'd never heard of said band but they had sounded "alright". F*ing knob!

I really regret not accidentally running over his feet with my scooter and tbh it spoiled the next, and last day of the festival because I was still pissed off, and also constantly looking for him so I could get my revenge!!

Would you mind linking?

I remember driving down a quiet through road with my daughter. Walking along the road, instead of the perfectly safe and useable path, was a group of older male teenagers. When I got close to them, I beeped and smiled so that I was appropriately letting them know that they needed to move (but wasn't being aggressive etc.). They turned and looked at me and carried on walking. I beeped again and they did the same thing.

When I finally managed to turn into the car park I was heading to, I parked up and spotted them all sitting down on a wall. I went over (wasn't thinking, was just cross) and asked them if they had not seen me and whether they were confused about how roads and pavements worked. They mumbled some nonsense, I told them that had I been a man, they would have moved out of the way so yes, we were all very impressed at how very manly they were. Told them that they were pathetic and walked off.

I was so mad but I absolutely knew full well that they would have moved had it been my husband driving the car.

@chiwwy www.facebook.com/share/VHr77tEukXsL4eSV/?mibextid=WC7FNe

I'm not sure if that will just take you to the article itself so you may not be able to read the comments. Search LBC on Facebook and it is at the top for now.

Oh yeah, back in the day when men could legally rape and beat their wives, when we weren’t allowed credit or employment rights, when we were oppressed and second class, men treated us so much better…
🙄

Examples

This is BS, in any kind of sport or physical activity PEOPLE offer PEOPLE unsolicited advice.

I’ve watched pro athletes get such advice from comparative amateurs in the gym, and while it’s tedious it’s nothing to do with gender, or the sexism that some of you are determined to read into everything 🥱

More on grateful than stunned I'd say.....(think he means ungrateful... why would she be grateful?)

So she’s a golf pro doesn’t mean her game is flawless, if you watch you tube channels loads of pros that get advice from a different perspective. Other pros/non-pros see things that we don’t know what’s going on.

So it worked , he gave her some tips and she hit a perfect shot afterwards

So, he went out of his way to try and help her. She could have thanked him and explained she was a golf pro. But of course, the video then wouldn't have been any use in the gender war.

If she was a pro-golfer she wouldn't have been doing it wrong.

A person that isn't able to accept advice is not a smart person at all, humility is a big part of knowledge. Accepting advice from others is how we grow as a society

Thank you, it links right to the thread! Lots of butt hurt men

The one that stands out in my mind is a few years ago, waiting to cross a road I crossed at least 6 times every week day. I knew the traffic light rotation like the back of my hand. I was stood at the kerb waiting for the lights to changing, watching them out of the corner of my eye whilst also looking at my phone. Some Lycra clad cyclist obviously spotted me waiting and became annoyed that I was looking at my phone, he was clearly so distracted by his rage, he wasn’t paying attention to the lights, so hadn’t noticed that they’d turned red. I had and looked up to double check the road and start crossing only to have him almost smash straight into me yelling at me to watch where I was going, clearly wanting to ‘teach me a lesson’.
I yelled after him that he was the one running a red light, and could see him look up and see the light was red as he zoomed past it, I hope he felt like the absolute knob he was in that moment.

My dd is 20 and has been driving 2 years...she has been followed twice in that time by aggressive men...one in a van and one in a car...she assures me both times she did nothing wrong and im inclined to believe her.
One man forced her to drive onto a grass verge as she took a little bit of time to pull out of a junction....it makes me so sad for her...no way would they do that to another man.

Omg the driving thing , other half infuriates me, crawls along when should be doing faster, then when someone gets in front of him, hes up their arse 🙄🙄 and then moans at me for going too fast or slow (within speed limits)
Not had any men barge into me, but felt they can make a comment, like the old; cheer up might never happen 🙄

I always find men to be super helpful and kind when I'm out with my kids. I'd say more so than women tbh.

I had one in work today. I work in a shop, I was happily going about my duties when a random man looked at me, smirked and said: "I thought it was halloween for a minute" I gave him a stinking look and said oh I have never heard THAT one before. I'm a 43 year old, 4foot 10inch woman, but I always wear brightly coloured eye shadow, todays choice is bright purple and gold. And I also have half violet&half neon green dreadlocks that are down to my arse, which I wear in a loose high bun, so i'm used to nonsense like this, but it did anboy me today!