To politely decline this week away

[Lovelycupofcoffee]

So five of us have decided to go a cheap week away in April. I only know one of the people going and she’s lovely. I met 2 more this weekend. They are so not my type of people and it sounds awful but I really don’t want to spend a week with them . Am I being really horrible to decline the week away ? The conversation was really strained and it just felt like we have nothing in common.

I try not to judge a book by its cover, it takes time to get to know some people. Was it a complete opposition of views and interests? I've gone away in groups and not known some of them, sometimes none for study trips abroad, and found once I got to know the ones I thought were not my type of person I became enlightened and learnt a lot! Pmve a bond is formed, often purely down to being together, they open up. If you don't enjoy it then you've got your friend, your own space in your room and a whole new environment to explore. X

Yep like the ones who say they're just saying what they think. Well actually there are intelligent and thoughtful ways of phrasing sentences as to not blatantly offend just because you think it's your entitlement to profess your own opinion my dear. Xx

Oh OP... I'm always brutally honest and even I would not have said that! 🤦‍♀️

Being honest can be hurtful. You should have told a little white lie like - no money or all holiday time now booked.

I know someone who is relentlessly honest, lacks tact, can't tell 'white lies' to save her life. She's ND and has no filters. I'm not saying ND people are all rude but it's harder for them to sense the offence caused or put on a front. Foot in mouth on a regular basis!

I'd tell the cleaner that it's unfortunate that she's making this so awkward, and that you like her, but not her mates. That you don't think it would give you the rest or relaxation you need, and your holiday time is limited.

I guess she's making it pretty clear that you made the right choice over the holiday

Are you British? Where I grew up, that would be a totally fine thing to say. Clearly it's not here.
I wouldn't be remotely offended if I was told that, and I certainly wouldn't feel it rude to say that to someone.

It’s quite amusing to see that the thread says ‘am I .. to politely decline the week away’ when you didn’t! That wasn’t polite.or diplomatic or kind or thoughtful. It was quite blunt. It sounds like you were saying they weren’t good enough… I expect the unease was mutual but they knew each other and you would have not felt comfortable. On the other hand perhaps some of your prejudices would have been unfounded. We all live and learn.

.... I don't think the OP was judgey...

There are plenty of people who are perfectly OK people, but I have zero in common with them, or them, me... So i wouldn't want to spend extended time with..

But in no way I am judgey of them, we are. Just too different...

I just wanted to ask why you had to say she's a cleaner? You could've just said you two are working in the same company (if not together). Are you looking down on her?

Her friends will be glad you're not going. Try to be kinder and less snooty in future.

I've been on holiday with a group of friends, but 2 merged groups IYSWIM. It is not something I'd ever repeat, as I ended up doing trips with just one of them as the others were either arguing or huge atmosphere. Don't go.

Sometimes honesty isn't the best policy! You might, if you end up in a similar situation, consider a small fib to spare the other person embarrassment. You say that she thought that you were judging her friends - is there any chance that, as she is a cleaner, she felt that you were looking down on her, particularly as you said that her friends weren't your sort of people? (You might have been thinking it but it's the sort of statement that rarely lands well.)

You told her you didn't like her friends. That will come off a little rude, don't you think. I would have said 'we had an extra expense, so I can't afford to go on this trip sadly. Let's go for a drink when you get back and you can tell me all about it' But it's done now. How awkward that she works with you.
Just leave her to it. I can understand why she was a bit unhappy with your response. You didn't want to go, and she clearly isn't that close to you anyway.

Once you'd had a few drinks on arrival, the laughter would have come along. You didn't give them a chance.

Good For You for being honest