Wanting to get some opinions on a situation that happened this week.
I had to go away to work on Monday & Tuesday. Really long days and fairly stressful job. However I had to leave my DP at home with our 6 children - which I fully accept is just as (if not more) stressful!
Importantly for this situation Tuesday was Pancake Day and pancakes are my absolute FAVOURITE.
On the Tuesday night I arrived back to my usual place of work in the evening and my DP was also there, along with 2 of our kids and my mum (we run a family business together). Ideally I was supposed to be going home at the same time as my DP but my mum was really stressed out when I arrived - nearly in tears, so I offered to stay and help her out. One of our daughters asked to stay with me as she had missed me - which I checked with my DP and we both agreed she can stay with me whilst DP would take the other child home and leave work.
My DPs point of view is I arrived back from being away and after hugging the kids and my mum I didn’t hug my DP and didn’t seem like I had missed them. From my point of view I hugged the kids and then my mum and realised how stressed she was which then became my focus - however I acknowledge that generally I am not affectionate enough and this is something that my DP needs, and I need to do better at.
Meanwhile another person at work had some pancakes and I asked if I could have one - it was fairly late into the evening by then and I had not seen a pancake all day. I was pretty delighted that I was still getting a pancake despite having to stay at work!
When I got home my DP was less than excited to see me and I could sense that I had done something to upset them. We went to bed on a bit of an atmosphere. The next day we had a chat and DP explained being upset I hadn’t given them a hug and didn’t seem to have missed her at all. I apologised and we cleared the air and all was fine.
As it turns out DP had planned to do pancakes when I got home from work and had prepared chocolate and strawberry’s etc. However when I chose to eat the other persons pancake and stay at work DP decided to go ahead and eat all the pancakes with the children at home, clear away and not celebrate Pancake day with me at all. When I got home there was not a trace of pancake paraphernalia to be seen.
AIBU to feel that DP had an over reaction and that having gone to the effort to prepare pancake day celebrations knowing how much I love them it was a little hurtful to them exclude me from them (even if I didn’t know it had been planned originally)