the petition going round about dads in hospitals

[strawberryswizzler]

just me who is absolutely against this idea? i’ve had 2 c-sections. one emergency, one elective. could barely sit myself up to feed my baby nevermind walk properly etc, i felt so vulnerable. the thought of being in a 4 bed bay separated only by curtains with random men who could be anyone makes me feel ill. anyone else??

If we're funding things to improve maternity care, it needs to be adequate staffing. Not facilitating random men being around all night. If there enough HCPs around, we could all manage just fine for 8 hours without men.

Indeed, so the question is, if anyone thinks men need to sleep on post natal wards (since that's what the petition is), what are they planning to make it bearable for everyone who is affected, mainly other post natal women who don't find anyone else's husband's presence a welcome prospect? Surely the proposal can't be that other women must just tolerate it, regardless?

But there aren’t the resources to help the mothers that can’t help themselves or their babies.
Maternity wards are different,

Perhaps a petition and campaign for more staff and more private rooms would be a better way forward for the safety of all rather than leaving many mothers suffering after a major operation with a baby to look after too.

I can see both sides of this argument.

would women feel safer if a woman companion was allowed instead? It serves the purpose without anyone feeling unsafe

Not everyone has a woman companion
One size doesn’t fit all

Adequate staffing would be a start for sure.

Ideally, like I said, it would be a private room for everyone too because it would then maximise rest for everyone. Babies not waking up other babies, midwives not disturbing other people etc as well as more privacy and fathers staying as an option for the mothers who want it since the private rooms would be en suite.

You didnt notice other people around because your husband was with you, for other women tour and everyone elses husband is a stranger male and are very much of aware and concious to at he is on the ward.

No one is saying you can't have a person to support you. Just not a biological male.

@caringcarer What if the only person the woman feels comfortable with is her husband and/or she doesn't have anyone female in her life that could support her?

That isn't going to work for everyone either. That's the thing, no solution is going to make everyone happy.

I'm not close with my mum or sister and wouldn't want them there. I also wouldn't feel comfortable having a friend there and bleeding/leaking everywhere.

That simply isn't true. Lights are turned off, phones are turned down, women are encouraged to sleep. There's none of the hustle and bustle of visitors, physios, doctors, paeds, bounty, hearing screener etc etc.

This is why women feel more venerable overnight,as has been explained by many posters.

I know it's not for everyone, but home birth solves this issue.

Go private. I had nobody by choice and was sufficiently happy and that is after as I already posted a 39 hour labour with forceps and ventouse which ended in emergency section. We are resiliant creatures us women and not all 'need' men.

Not even comparable..parents on other wards are not unclothed doing skin on skin nursing recovering from a major operation walking around in hospital gown or having examintions of private area etc

why dont you offer to give your next cervical smear in your GPs waiting room,just pull a curtain around,that will guarantee you wont feel uncomfortable

Emergencies don’t give people the option of booking themselves into private facilities
Perhaps separate wards for those who don’t have any post birth problems would be the answer.
Then the wards for those who do can benefit from the extra support another can give and those who need a good nights sleep and help with breastfeeding can have the no father ban and visits only during visiting hours like other wards.

We are talking c sections here,home births have been already ruled out.

I absolutely agree with you that exceptions should be made for those post c section, with disabilities requiring a full time carer, with diagnosed mental health challenges, and these should be accommodated in private rooms.

But the flip side of that is how traumatic I found it to be on a bay with men on it overnight with my first, I was in for 3 nights (after being in labour for 3 days) due to medical complications and got no sleep due to them chatting on their phones to their extended family, often on loudspeaker, coming into the wrong bay, 1 even picked up my baby and went to walk off with it as 'thought it was theirs'. From that moment I had to stay awake all day and night for my babies safety, so that was 6 nights of no sleep, after a traumatic delivery, which I think was a significant contribution to me developing PND to the point I considered suicide as only way out.

So what helps 1 Mum can harm another, and the balance is providing private rooms for those who really need them (rather than want them) for partners to be able to stay, and limiting visiting hours on the bays

Maternity wards have become overly reliant on dads being there. The midwives are so stretched they've no time to care for mums and babies beyond clinical checks etc. I sent my DH home and bitterly regretted it. They couldn't/wouodnt even watch my baby while I went to change my pads etc. No one made sure I had water or food, and I could barely stand by myself so couldn't go by myself. I called him back at 5am, via a 24 hour Tesco for provisions.

I hated all the other dads being on the ward and was desperate to get home. But without the help of midwives, what are you supposed to do?

@Genuineweddingone Because all labouring women can afford private healthcare can't they(?!)

Not at all but if you want the luxury of your husband being there all night then find the money.

@banananas1999 Where possible (and it is possible in some circumstances) reduce the number of C-Section deliveries.

Yes I have experienced this. However I was fit and well, not bleeding heavily,fully dressed, fully mobile etc etc, so I didn't feel vulnerable.

The point is women in maternity are patients and most are at the most vulnerable they have ever been - this is completely different to when they're a visitor on a children's ward.

@Genuineweddingone Yes, it really is that easy(!) Basically what you're saying is...have your partner there if you can afford to.

Assume you mean the ones women who choose to have sections as opposed to those of us who could not have a vaginal birth after a lengthy labour and were told that we had to have a section if ever having another child.

@Genuineweddingone Yes.