the petition going round about dads in hospitals

[strawberryswizzler]

just me who is absolutely against this idea? i’ve had 2 c-sections. one emergency, one elective. could barely sit myself up to feed my baby nevermind walk properly etc, i felt so vulnerable. the thought of being in a 4 bed bay separated only by curtains with random men who could be anyone makes me feel ill. anyone else??

Really? I had my second DC in January last year. There were six women on my ward, five of them had a male partner stay the night.

No.

They provide enough trained and qualified staff.

God no, absolutely not. I can't think of anything worse than having a ward full of random blokes at all hors of the day and night

To look after the babies? Their babies.

I can totally understand why women who have just given birth and feel very vulnerable wouldn't want men around the wards. On the other hand, my husband's support was invaluable during the whole process (before and after) so I'm really torn on this.
It was one of the many, many reasons I opted for a home birth; I knew that it was so important for us personally as a couple that my husband was there to be around for the labour and birth of his first and only child, and to share those precious first hours subsequently with me.

Well they didn't die did they? Which is what will happen if we continue to prop up appalling levels of care with random men

We could actually get around this by allowing women in to help the new Mum but not allowing men in. I think everybody would be more comfortable with that if it was kept single sex and men came in at visiting times.

I had to have two emergency c sections, and have very severe anxiety and panic disorder.

I would not have coped mentally in hospital without my husband there. The thought of a hospital stay on my own makes me feel
like I can’t breath.

I think women should have a choice of what company they have when they are at their most vulnerable.

I absolutely didn’t give one rats ass about the woman’s husband opposite us either, or the new dad on the other side of the very thin curtain next to us. They’re all there for their partners and their babies.

Exactly this. These random men are going to want a piss and a shit and a shower. Who the fuck wants some woman's random bloke shuffling around in the corridors in his slippers, undies, and pyjamas, rattling off farts, pissing on the toilet floor, and stinking the place out with his morning shit. All within striking distance of your new born baby. (And manspreading everywhere and giving his UNWANTED opinions.) LOL! no fuck that!

It was the norm on my ward too. DS turned 1 in December.

I CouId see the case for women’s mums and sisters being allowed to stay over if the NHS is on its knees. But I would be going straight home after the birth if there were men in the ward other than medical staff.

They can look after the baby

Random male helpers let loose on maternity wards are not the answer. When did this insane solution to staff shortages become the norm.

I think this is the obvious solution. There's clearly women who really want their partners with them and women who really want no men there, and this way everyone can get what they want.

Good luck with that. I tried multiple times to leave I could barely move. When I could a few days later I was in absolutely no mental state to do so and I have no idea what would have happened if I'd managed.

I didn’t cope. After not having slept for my 96 hour labour and being completely out of it then left alone with a newborn I cried for pretty much all of the three days I was in postnatal. I also got barely any sleep for those three days so basically didn’t sleep for a week.

I had nightmares about it for a very long time afterwards and needed psychiatric help. Of course we need to make spaces for those who are uncomfortable having men around if they are alone and vulnerable but we should also have spaces for those who need the help that partners can provide.

They aren't random. They are there with their partners who if the men are random are also random women.

What difference does it make the men being able to stay all day versus being able to stay all night?

I hope you have healed from that time.

What’s with the ‘I could barely walk’ nonsense! Two C sections here - up out of bed as soon as spinal wore off. Looked after babies alone no hubbies allowed then and midwives would have laughed if you buzzed them to lift your baby for you! Not sure I would have wanted him there 24/7 but think it’s up to each individual

I'm hoping that we can aim for more than ''well they didn't die''. Again, it comes across as very dismissive.

It's really rude to try and invalidate my experience just because it differed from yours.

Again dismissing the valid experiences of those who yes..didn't die, but perhaps came fairly close.

Thank you.

I'm not being dismissive at all. It is what will happen if we don't improve maternity care.