Do I just give up? Am I just destined to be fat

[Sianholby]

Just coming in here as I’m just feeling down at the moment. I’m perimenopausal, just started HRT and hate the way I look.
I swim and go on our home cross trainer twice a week. I work full time and have three kids. We eat relatively healthily and I’m trying to cut down my carbs.

i just look like a whale, my belly sticks out further than my breasts. I can just can’t shift this weight.
iVe attached a photo of me currently, I want to lose the belly and the fat below my breasts that sticks out. Any tips as exercising three times a week around work and children and walking almost everywhere just isn’t doing it

You can do it !

Just decide what day you’re going to do it and commit. Write yourself a long list of why and all the things you want for yourself.

then, pause on exercise for now. What you need is a significant calorie deficit. Exercise alone won’t help you lose weight, but will be key when you come to maintaining your new weight later. Obv there are lots of other longer term benefits too, but for now, your focus should be on shifting the weight.

If you did fast 800 youd fall into ketosis and not even feel hunger. You’d lose weight extremely fast which can be very motivating. It’s also excellent for you in terms of reducing cancer risk / inflammation etc. I don’t find longer term ‘trying to cut calories’ works because it’s too slow burn so one can give up because the results don’t seem worth it quickly enough. Lighter life is great if you prefer to take ‘food’ off the table for a bit. Any 800 cal a day diet whether Michael Moseley or lighter life you can expect to lose a stone a month.

You are doing a decent amount of exercise

what? are you taking the piss?

a swim and 2 go's on a cross trainer a week?

My son's walk to school on one day is more exercise than that.

Come on people - you all need to massively rethink what you think is a 'decent amount of exercise' . It's peanuts. Someone needs to call it out

pause on exercise for now

for the love of geoff, do not take this absolute shite advice

Any 800 cal a day diet whether Michael Moseley or lighter life you can expect to lose a stone a month.

I imagine it does drop off you when it’s so low. Is this even enough calories for certain bodily functions like ovulation? My periods go out of whack if I restrict/exercise too much and I suspect I have anovulatory cycles when I do. It’s a genuine question if anyone can share any insight. I am more inclined to go on a slightly stricter diet to get the weight off faster too but I do worry about what this does to my body.

@specialsauce there's a big difference between eating everything you want, and being able to enjoy food socially. Restricting food to 1200 calories a day is very, very limiting. Panicking because you've got no wiggle room in your TDEE to ever eat out, buy food on the go, or enjoy food with friends is not a good way to live and for some leads to disordered eating.

I mentioned up thread that I am the same height as the OP and do fine on 1800, because I've built my metabolism up through exercise. The majority of what I eat is nutritious food, but it is far easier to live life, share meals with my partner, socialise etc on 1800 than it is on 1400 or 1200.

The Maintenance Phase podcast is worth a listen.

https://www.maintenancephase.com/

xx

go away with your 'don't exercise, don't eat instead' advice.

Crock of shit.

Are you ok @specialsauce? You seem to be very angry with people!

I've built my metabolism up through exercise @Toopolitetoask

this is great advice.

I'm just angry that so many people are on the 'starve yourself so you can eat cake at your friends birthday' brigade.

It's bullshit.

Where has the 'treat yourself with a burger' mantra come from? Fucking mcdonalds that's where. And now people feel deprived cause they can't eat shit.

Sorry but you’re incredibly rude. I’ve just lost 3 stone doing fast 800 after finding exercise alone wasn’t doing anything. I am now back to exercising and feeling incredible. Are you sat calling other peoples genuine attempts to help OP shite whilst admiring your six pack. I highly doubt it, and if you are, you probably don’t know how desperate it feels to be stuck overweight and struggling to shift it.

@BIWI thanks for asking.

Yes I am quite livid this evening. Purely because I've been working out how to lose 2 stone and get fit and there are so many ridiculous diet/starve yourself/do this/do that advice and it's all absolute crap. It becomes like word salad after a while. I'm pretty sure we all know that if we ate healthily and did lots of walking about and active stuff we wouldn't be in this mess.

Everyone wants a quick fix but it DOESNT EXIST.

It definitely is restrictive socially at first but most of the time people who are overweight tend to be so miserable they’re not enjoying socialising that much anyway. 8 weeks focusing on losing weight would be worth the slight restriction in the long run. And it doesn’t mean no socialising, can still go out and enjoy a drink without it needing to be alcoholic or go to the cinema or for a walk. I’d be asking myself why good as so required to have a good time. Ultimately I agree it’s limiting to do a low cal diet but I’d got to a place where I felt so crap whenever I went out, nothing to wear as so overweight etc that it wasn’t enjoyable whereas now I feel so much better and more likely to accept invites to things

but if you stop doing any exercise you must realise that you are losing muscle which is going to make you ill in the long run?

You know this right?

I don't have a six pack hahahahah. I wouldn't want one. I have loads to lose but I sure as fuck aint gonna sit in a chair and eat nothing for six months hoping to waste away.

Is it though? I understand if you don’t believe me. I’m just a stranger on the internet and ultimately what works for me might not work for you. But lots of doctors will tell you the same thing. Have you read Michael moseleys fast 800? It’s a great place to start.

The thing is, @specialsauce, different things work for different people. And people on these threads are only trying to help.

I'm pretty sure we all know that if we ate healthily and did lots of walking about and active stuff we wouldn't be in this mess.

Trouble is, define 'healthily'?! It depends entirely on which approach you believe in is better. I will always argue that low carb is healthier than low fat. The low fat advocates will disagree.

And arguing that people should be more active to lose weight is very much the cornerstone of the whole 'eat less, move more' approach, which many would also argue is faulty.

I hope you manage to find a way that works for you - but don't knock approaches that others might have found works for them and/or are advocating for others.

Sounds like you’re going to remain over weight with your current attitude if you can be that negative and dismissive of someone else’s experience.

Recent studies suggest you don’t lose muscle on a low cal diet no. although I only recently read that. I had assumed the same as you previously but my recent fasting hasn’t affected my muscle (although realistically I doubt many people who are significantly over weight have much muscle to preserve anyway 🤣)

Also the slight impact on health of limiting exercise to lighter exercise only for a few weeks, like walking or swimming, would be vastly out weighed by the health benefits of being a healthy weight. Exercise is just easier when you’re not over weight too, so you’re more likely to want to do it and stick to it.

I suspect scoffing at well meaning strangers on the internet isn’t going to make you feel good about yourself really . If you were coming from a place with an alternative suggestion that had worked for you , that’s different, but if you’re just being unpleasant because you disagree with the approach I followed then I’d suggest there are better ways to engage in that dialogue?

Yeah - he's making loads of money out of that little nugget isn't he. Initially that was for people who were pre-diabetic - now he's selling it as weight loss. He'll sell it for wherever the next money maker is. He's sold himself out. He's not even qualified to be advising the nation on their health. He's got no medical qualifications. He's literally a journalist.

Not sure on impact on conception so would speak to doctor about that but I certainly wouldn’t have whilst pregnant or breast feeding either. I guess only consideration is that it’s healthier to conceive when a healthy bmi so arguably losing weight before doing so might help to conceive and lead to a healthier pregnancy. But this I deffo would speak to an expert about. I’d probably be focusing on nutrition and reducing stress if I was looking to conceive as the starting point.

Michael Moseley is a qualified doctor.

I think, @specialsauce, you need to step away from the computer/your phone for a while. You're not really doing yourself any favours and, to be honest, you're sounding a bit deranged.

Being rude to other posters really isn't a good look.

He is a doctor? You’re right he is currently a journalist but he has medical qualifications so you’re quite mistaken. Look, if it’s not for you, it’s not for you. I’ve seen people have great success with it, and I have too. I hope you find something you can feel positive about.

(although realistically I doubt many people who are significantly over weight have much muscle to preserve anyway 🤣)

Well that's quite rude and also untrue. There you are - laughing at people carrying more weight. How fucking dare you.

People carrying weight have pretty well developed muscle sets as they need them to carry the extra weight. They are usually very strong. This puts them at a great advantage to use this as an aid to exercise and burn the fat calories that are holding them back.

Hence my anger at people being advised on this, and other threads, to 'stop exercising and fast'. It's terrible advice. Exercise should never be given up and replaced with not eating. It's irresponsible and could seriously impact the health of many people.

I started last January with walking 10000 steps a day. I joined slimming world and did a weekly clubbercise class. Previously if I exercised I found I didn't watch what I ate because 'I've exercised so it's fine'. Once I started losing the weight I moved onto couch 2 5k then I joined the gym. The weeks I track what I eat and stay on plan I lose, the weeks I don't but exercise I don't. I don't think starving yourself or fasting is sustainable but I know it works for some. Slimming world doesn't work for everyone but ultimately it's the food which makes you put on the weight and reducing the junk is what will make you lose it. The exercise will make you feel good, tone you up and motivate you

What medical qualifications does he have?

He studied at the Royal Free in London and qualified as a doctor.

(Although I'm sure you could have googled that yourself )

What medical qualification does he have please?