Do I just give up? Am I just destined to be fat

[Sianholby]

Just coming in here as I’m just feeling down at the moment. I’m perimenopausal, just started HRT and hate the way I look.
I swim and go on our home cross trainer twice a week. I work full time and have three kids. We eat relatively healthily and I’m trying to cut down my carbs.

i just look like a whale, my belly sticks out further than my breasts. I can just can’t shift this weight.
iVe attached a photo of me currently, I want to lose the belly and the fat below my breasts that sticks out. Any tips as exercising three times a week around work and children and walking almost everywhere just isn’t doing it

I’m five feet one and ate around 1100 calories a day of low carb, good quality protein and about 7 of my 5 a day and it worked a treat. Easiest diet I’ve ever done, lots of eggs, salmon, prawns, salad, high protein yogurts, fruit, fish and veg. I didn’t eat at any particular time so it was flexible if I was going out for a meal etc. although my calorie intake was low I didn’t feel hungry as the protein filled me up.
Think veggie omelettes with a salad, fish with veg and salad, roast chicken dinner without potatoes.

I'm surprised as MFP puts me on 1200 to lose and 1400 to maintain at 5' and overweight- 9.5 stone.

It is possible, but not easy. No sugar, low carb, no eating in the evenings. Green tea and water throughout the day.

Do you put in that you have a sedentary lifestyle because if you work in an office or sat around that it is a sedentary one that's not much exercise to counteract IYSWIM

I didn’t put sedentary as I am on the cross trainer, swim, walk 2 miles a day on the school run and try and walk most places locally

You are focusing on the exercise you need to forget counting that, it'll be making no difference to weight loss. Do it because it makes you feel better or you like it.

Weight loss is about consistence calorie/energy deficit. At your height 1500 is too much. If you want to see good loss go Mediterranean at 1000. No treats, no slips.

It's brutal but it will work.

It's not the exercise (influences your shape by 20%). It's the diet. You need to be in calorie deficit so that your body starts going into reserves you have built up. You haven't done that yet.

The amount of weight you lose through exercise is negligible. That doesn’t mean don’t do it, but only a calorie deficit will make you lose weight.
i find the calorie suggestions on MFP too high for me, and I need to go lower to lose weight.

Treat yourself to a dexa scan, I'll bet you have hidden Visceral fat inside. Your legs look normal size, you're just a bit round in the middle, classic apple shape.

I'd also recommend a weight training program instead of all out cardio. Then you'll be end to eat more too.

Weight loss is 80% calories, 20% exercise. My menopause specialist told me that in menopause your metabolism slows down so
you need to increase your exercise to maintain your weight. To lose it, she said you have to eat less. A friend is trying to lose 2 stone at the moment and was told her maximum calorie intake was 1200 - and the dietitian said that is a limit, not a target.

You need to pick a strategy and stick with it.

Low carb or no carb is my preferred method. Other people like the 16:8 method:
do whatever works for you, but you need to drastically reduce your intake. You are probably eating more than you think - I know I was.

You are doing lot's of cardio which will burn calories but won't build muscle. You may be burning muscle away which in turn means you'll burn less fat.
Muscle keeps your metabolic rate higher throughout the day.
Try replacing half your cardio with resistance training or weights. If you build and maintain your muscular strength you'll find that fat burns away more easily and quickly.

Your legs do look fab op! That's why I reckon it's mostly the way you hold your tummy that exaggerates its shape

I second this. Such an easy WOE, totally sustainable and you never need to be hungry or count calories or anything like that.

You certainly don't look 'obese". My belly looks like that half the time! 1300 sounds about right to lose weight. I love the x-trainer. I wish I had one! I guess you could do more time on there, the one I used at the gym used to great for burning calories, I got up to 900 in 45 mins! I hope you will have one nice treat each week, not like a whole day, but like a 300 cal snack that you love.

I'm a similar shape to you and I've lost 2 stone in 8 weeks with Fast800 intermittent fasting. I fast for at least 16 hours between dinner and breakfast/lunch the next day, and aim for 800 calories a day (although it's usually closer to 1000 or 1200). I'm doing that for 12 weeks then switching to the 5:2 diet, so just doing it 2 days a week.
It's fairly low carb and my shape has completely changed.

Presumably, at least a mile of your daily two miles is at a child’s pace? It will be burning very few calories, unfortunately.

it’s the diet that will make the difference, not the exercise. Fast 800 worked well for me, then (very) low carb to maintain. I’m just about to do it again as I went heavy on the carbs over Christmas and the peri-belly came back.

I can't face low carb or low calorie, it makes me want to cry. I'm a similar shape to you op and I'm just absolutely pissed off about it.

I'll do much better when it's light evenings and warm.

You look quite bloated. If you go on to TDEEcalculator.net that should give you your calories that you need to lose weight. If you don’t like calorie counting there’s always low carb or other plans that might work for you. I don’t believe in Slimming World or Weightwatchers or other “diets”. High protein works for me as I calorie count, it’s the only thing that does. It surprising when you track your calories of how little portions you need.

Lack of oestrogen can lead to putting on weight around the middle - lots of googleable stuff about it out there. Happened to me. Your dose of HRT may not be correct, you may need to increase your oestrogen (and progesterone to balance if you take progesterone as well). Speak to a menopause specialist if your GP is not helpful.

Honestly if you do Fast 800 you really eat very little. You still function, can exercise and once you’ve got over the shock you really aren’t hungry.
It’s eye opening how much we’ve been over eating.
And the weight goes from the middle. It’s literally the only diet that ever shifted weight from my tummy.

Cut out virtually all sugar. Eat no chocolate or biscuits. Eat no takeaways or ready meals. Drink no alcohol. Bulk up meals with veg or salad so that portions are still large. Limit bread. Snack on fruit. You then shouldn't ever be hungry.

Have a brisk walk for 30 minutes a day, brisk enough for your heart rate to increase and maybe feel slightly breathless.

If you eat and exercise like that you will lose weight at a steady rate of around 1.5/2lbs per week.

Forget calorie counting as it will make you miserable and is not sustainable.

Just remember to go easy on yourself. Lots of good advice here but mind yourself x

Resistance training and weights OP - Caroline Girvan does a 15 minute standing abs workout and most of her others are 20 mins. Do one every day. It’s a good start. One set of 3kg dumbbells. Build muscle, that’s where it’s at.

Essentially eat very little and intermittent fasting.

Your legs look really toned in that picture if that's any consolation! I appreciate it's the weight around the middle that is bothering you though.

Things that have worked for me (similar height/build):

1. Focusing on strength training / weights. I hardly do cardio, it's good for burning calories but strength training changes your shape.
2. Stick to 1200/1300 calories a day depending on activity.
3. Cut out sugary processed food, fizzy drinks, alcohol.

And I'll admit I stuck to this for ages and saw bugger all progress until

1. Started wegovy injections and the weight is falling off as I relearn to respond to my hunger cues and eat appropriately. It makes dieting so easy. I don't have cravings now and make better choices.