Do I just give up? Am I just destined to be fat

[Sianholby]

Just coming in here as I’m just feeling down at the moment. I’m perimenopausal, just started HRT and hate the way I look.
I swim and go on our home cross trainer twice a week. I work full time and have three kids. We eat relatively healthily and I’m trying to cut down my carbs.

i just look like a whale, my belly sticks out further than my breasts. I can just can’t shift this weight.
iVe attached a photo of me currently, I want to lose the belly and the fat below my breasts that sticks out. Any tips as exercising three times a week around work and children and walking almost everywhere just isn’t doing it

I agree it's a combination of peri menopause, lack of oestrogen etc however if you're not losing weight you're eating too much.

By all means do exercise it's very good for your heart health and body but to lose weight you have to cut down your calories.
Tweak it little by little until you find you are losing weight then adjust as you get lighter.

Eat healthy nutritious food and cut down processed carbs (like you are doing already)

You didn't put on excess weight overnight so don't aim to lose it too quickly even half a pound a week is great, it all adds up

Also think about doing weights.

Are you writing everything down you eat? I'm doing slimming world and tracking the food is the dealbreaker

Sounds like you do a good amount of exercise.

However, this alone will not shift the pounds.

You get skinny in the kitchen and fit at the gym.

I am 54 and menopausal. My BMI is 23. I guess I could lose some weight but for me, getting older, it's more about health. I feel lucky to be here and am fed up with sabotaging my wellbeing with stress/guilt around food.

I try to eat less processed foods and more fruit and veg.

I walk the dog about 3 miles every day and go on the treadmill 3 or 4 times a week.

I'm exactly in the same boat as you. I have tried everything (e.g fruit and veg diet/juicing/slim fast/running 5 x a week). Fasting definitely works well for us, but I found it unsustainable. I hate being hungry. So I've been sticking to 1200 calories daily, using my fitness pal app. In a year, I've slowly gone from a size 16 to a 12. I'm aiming for a size 10 by christmas. I doing yoga every day and walking as much as I can. I'm still round like you, around my tummy. You can do it. Don't give up.

I haven't read the whole thread, but I feel your pain

However youve got great legs and bum (if that's not too weird a comment!), so you're one up on me at least.

Good luck with your plan

Agree with this. My first though on seeking your photo was you could do a lot just by improving your posture.

Well done. And well done to everyone who is sticking at whatever is their preferred diet and exercise regime.

I need to get back on My Fitness Pal as the OPs photo could be a photo of me. I am not happy with the way I look and only I can change my body.

@Sianholby

The problem with healthy eating (which is great) is that it's still far too easy to over-eat.

It's a simple case of too many calories, even though they are healthy ones.

My parents and a couple of friends swear by the 5-2 diet. They eat 500 calories on two days of the week (whichever two they want) then eat "normally" on the others (so don't have to think about dieting).

I just go for lots of exercise. I do about 15,000 steps a day then cardiovascular exercise for 3 hours week.

@Projectme

The thought of a calorie deficit for the next 18 months to lose the weight makes me want to cry tbh

Why? It can be delicious and filling, and include treats. Why is it such a problem?

I’m about the same height and was the same size/bmi. I’m 40 so not quite peri yet but have always struggled with weight and a healthy relationship with food. After having kids my weight just crept up.

last year I signed up for a trial for Noom and then forgot to cancel it. So I thought fuck it I’ve paid for it. Might as well do it. So for almost a year I’ve been following it and lost 3 stone.

so it is possible. I didn’t cut out any for groups at all. Just looked at my portions and made sure half my plate was filled with vegetables or salad and made some swaps with things (full fat mayo to extra light etc) so I got to carry on eating everything I loved. Logging everything I ate made me realise how much I was actually eating without realising it.

good luck!

@Watchkeys Can you show me a delicious, filling, food diary that includes treats and social events for an average 1000-1200 calories a day? As that's what the OP would need to be going for given by what she has shared so far.

When you're short and over 40, a much more realistic (and happier!) way to manage weight loss is to increase the metabolism first. Otherwise it's just a race to lower and lower calorie limits. And then you become the type of person who asks others in the office if they'll split half a cupcake when it's someone's birthday.

@Toopolitetoask

Can you show me a delicious, filling, food diary that includes treats and social events for an average 1000-1200 calories a day

Doubt it. But why would I want to? I agree with you; up the metabolism. I've already suggested lifting weights rather than CV work. Then a kcal deficit doesn't have to be under 1200. Your question makes no sense.

Yeah, I said upthread when I was in the gym often doing minimal cardio I ate up to 2200 Cals a day and maintained. At only 5ft3.5. Different story now after kids. More like 1500 to maintain and 1200 to lose. It’s miserable dieting. Exercise really makes a difference. I was hardly body building, just using some weights machines.

OP - exercise it’s good, but it’s your diet that’s making you overweight.

intermittent fasting is amazing - look at that. Cut out sugar and procecessed food and watch the weight melt off. Of course exercise it good for health overall and mentally, but weight is mainly diet.

@Choux You can do it, I believe in you. A lot can change in a year. 💪 💪 💪

The exercise is the icing on the cake, the food is the key.

You'd need to be about 1100 maybe 1200 to loose, and try and increase protein, lower carbs.

Maybe get some protein shakes, One for breakfast, try not to snack and one for lunch then a dinner.

You'll feel full and you'll 100% drop weight, when you feel lighter and see a fast result you can then refine and have a lovely breakfast of eggs etc and small lunch and dinner. And if you are busy you can revert back to the shakes.

Free soul protein is tasty, and they also have greens which are nice and make sure you are getting fluids in. I mix my shakes with milks sometimes and water others and pop in some peanut butter.

@Watchkeys I think you're being somewhat obtuse. Given the OP said she's eating 1500 calories a day and can't bear the thought of 18 months of a calories deficit then just adding 'why, it can be delicious' doesn't exactly read as 'it can be delicious if you learn about nutrition, gradually increase your calories along with consistent resistance training, accept adding muscle and some fat for at least six months, and then start a calorie deficit'

But I think you know that. It's not exactly helpful to the OP but well done if it made you feel good.

I could never cut out bread. But to lose any weight I had to cut out alcohol and sugar. I only walk about a mile or two every day and that was enough. I also eat 5 small meals/graze every day. Weight slowly dropped off. As soon as I drank alcohol or chocolate again, it started to creep up. I've never been massively overweight bit trying to lose just 6lbs can be SO hard!

1400 calories is as much as I can eat if trying to lose weight too, so not much.

@Sianholby I know the feeling!

I’m 46 and perimenopausal.

I do WW and work out but the weight is coming off soooo slowly!

I did WW and exercise before when I put weight on (about 3.5 yrs ago) and it dropped off then. But this time round since the perimenopause kicked in, it’s really not shifting!

One thing I’m yet to do that I haven’t because of a back injury is weight/strength training. Using weights in your workout helps build lean muscle which boosts your metabolism and burns fat. Might be worth adding to your exercise regime, as I know it will help me once I start doing it again.

oh ffs. When it's someone's birthday 'spilt half a cupcake'? wtf is wring with that?
We in the west expect to be able to eat all the shit coming then we wonder why we are unable to move properly and feel like shit.

Get with the real world.

Stop eating shit and start being healthy.

That's all there is to it.

If you think you 'deserve' or 'should have if you want' cake, chocolate and random weekly takeaways' and then expect to grow your belly. If your overall happiness depends on high calorie food then that's something strange you need to confront.

It's not rocket science.

Bad day at work, @specialsauce ? 😆

Please follow health with Holland on Instagram or anything related to cortisol…. It is likely you have high cortisol & this contributes to where fat is stored.

i know it’s so easy to say but the less stressed I am the better I look. So rather than “taking things” away from myself I try to be kinder & walk & eat & rest in healthy ways to be kind, rather than to punish myself

yeah maybe.

I just feel annoyed that so many people on the weight loss threads respond with - just do this, just do that, then you can eat this and have some cake blah blah blah.

We all need to face facts - shit food + little movement equals big belly, high cholesterol and terrible health prospects.

Lets all just be honest.

We need to cut the shit, get busy and active, face it full frontal. Walk up some fucking steps every day. Literally, every day.

I'm gonna fucking kick the shit out of the two stone I need to lose after being 'woe is me' for way too long.

Let's do this thang!

You are doing a decent amount of exercise so I'd be inclined to say you are eating too many calories if you arent losing weight. All you need to do is be in a calorie deficit. Try something like my fitness pal or nutra check for a few weeks on maybe 1600/1700 calories a day, you might even be able to have more if you work out your bmr (not bmi) No restrictions on what you eat just stick to you calories.