Do I just give up? Am I just destined to be fat

[Sianholby]

Just coming in here as I’m just feeling down at the moment. I’m perimenopausal, just started HRT and hate the way I look.
I swim and go on our home cross trainer twice a week. I work full time and have three kids. We eat relatively healthily and I’m trying to cut down my carbs.

i just look like a whale, my belly sticks out further than my breasts. I can just can’t shift this weight.
iVe attached a photo of me currently, I want to lose the belly and the fat below my breasts that sticks out. Any tips as exercising three times a week around work and children and walking almost everywhere just isn’t doing it

I don’t think the comment is bitchy and it’s a good point that the exercise the OP is doing is probably the equivalent of eating a few large bananas.

It’s so hard isn’t it? Sorry no advice. I’m 4 stone overweight and am gutted because I lost weight 3 years ago and got down to a 12 and have now put it all back on. Now I’m mid 40s and find it so hard to stick to any plan. I will often spend a couple of hours planning out a diet only for it to go wrong the following day when I get so hungry or something stressful happens.

I wish I could afford the weight loss jabs that people are raving about. But I’m a single mother, 3 kids and there is no way that I can afford anywhere near the cost of that medication.

I know how you feel. I was 226lbs (size 18/20) this time last year. I'm now 158lb (12/14). I did/maintain this by fasting (and being hungry all day as I have nothing except black coffee/fruit tea until about 4pm each day). I don't get hungry during the day now. I had a diagnosis of diabetes as well which was motivation (in remission within 3 months). I just had to say goodbye to sweet things and carbs and replace with real food. Basically, nothing from a packet. Lots of meat and veg (no chips, potatoes, pasta) and yoghurt and fruit. Luckily I don't dislike this kind of eating so it hasn't been too bad, and I now have cakes and things on special occasions. If you are going to start fasting, start with a late lunch of veg and a protein as it can be hard to do OMAD immediately.

This is surreal? How can you say it's none of my business when the OP has come on a forum and given these details and then asked for tips. It's no good everyone coming on (not that they have) and saying "oh I don't know, you're probably burning 500 calories a day from that exercise so you should be thinner" I have (very kindly I think!) pointed out that at her height and exercise level she will not lose weight on 1600 calories a day.

Other posters agree with me

I am 52. I am a 10-12. I am aiming to keep my BMI below 23 because I am Asian and diabetes runs in my family. Unfair, but it is what it is. So hard at this age, though.

The only way I can manage it is to watch what I eat. Exercise does not burn enough for me, though I walk a lot and also swim. I do it because it's good for me otherwise, if not to lose weight.

I am not suggesting a crash diet or anything extreme. But reducing my rice consumption to once per day-, and upping my protein and veg has worked somewhat, at least to keep BMI below 24. I don't drink any more.

Buy some great clothes that fit you and suit you! Get your hair done and make up, if you like that sort of thing. Learn to love your body for all the amazing things it does - including exercise - and stop caring what it looks like.

I think some level of acceptance for a changing shape is a good thing in peri. I used to have abs of steel only a few years ago!😥

Fat accumulated in the mid section can put you at risk of diabetes and other health conditions. It's good you are exercising, maybe you'll have to do it every day? Sometimes we think we are eating healthy but we are not really. This happend to me too, and put on so much weight by just eating the wrong foods ( we were not eating takeaways, did not drink every weekend and I didn't have any fizzy drinks), but yet I managed to get to nearly 14 stone at 5ft 3....low carb makes a great difference for me, and smaller portions. Have no carbs for breakfast like eggs or salmon or some greek yogurt with berries. I used to have 1 slice of toast and butter and a coffee and I was ravenous by lunch time, when I would have a sandwich or wrap and crisps, then a regular dinner of meat, veg and carbs...you would not think that would make me so overweight but it did. Now I only have coffee int he morning until I am hungry, I would then have a protein breakfast ( around 11-12) then a small snack of veg or a home made protein bar, dinner is same than before but I doubled my veg/salad and halve the carb portion. I am 10 stone now.

Not sure if anyone has already said this but trying to lose weight in peri can be a bit of a losing battle because we tend to be estrogen dominant at this stage.

Estrogen causes us to retain fat around our tummies, hips and thighs and it also causes water retention so we’re heavier and more bloated.

Agnus Castus (chaste tree) and lady’s mantle herbs are really good for tackling this underlying issue!

I'm currently dieting and planning to loose 10lbs. I keep reminding myself that loosing weight is one of the few things in life where you have complete control over it and that I'm doing it completely for me and no one else. It's a really positive thing to do and it's going to make me feel better and look better. There is also no reason for it to cost you more money (I know it helps to be able to afford nice ingredients but you can still make cheap low cal food)

My weight fluctuates by about half a stone to 3/4 a stone. I know it's due to bad decisions and poor self control but it is what it is and once my weight has crept up too high I diet and get back on track.

People always talk about dieting so negatively but I think it's better to look at the positives. What other things can we do for ourselves in life that can have such a big effect on our own health and happiness.