Nursery have given DS cake

[Hmmwhatyousay]

i have said I don’t want him having puddings and to have fruit instead. Last week he had cake all week (only just found out on pick up yesterday). They’ve said it was an oversight. Would you be annoyed about this? He’s 12 months.

I just don't get the pudding every day thing.
I wasn't brought up having dessert every day, neither were my children & I don't do it with the children I mind.
They get breakfast on arrival,hot dinner around 12:30/1pm. No dessert after. Just a good healthy home made dinner. Stews.casseroles, lasagne, fish pies etc. Maybe a rice cake or cheese after but no sweet treat.
Then a plate of fruit in the afternoon followed by yoghurt & rice cakes.
We have a little cake (with parents permission) if it's someone's birthday but otherwise that's it.

Same. We only had pudding on weekends and I'm doing the same for my son. I don't judge anyone for it though and don't stop my son having pudding at school.

This level of fastidiousness isn’t sustainable for you or your toddler. For your own mental health, unclench a bit.

You are fixated on cake. Nursery cake is usually made with a small bit of fruit juice for sweetener. Did you specify in writing? But really this is tiny and your child will be eating a lot worse.

Maybe the nursery workers are Eddie Izzard fans, offered him cake or death and he wisely chose cake?

Ahh you didn't have school dinners at primary school then?

You got and still get pudding every day if you have school dinners.

With us it varied from fruit salad, cake and custard, a fruit pie/crumble (frequently apple or rhubarb) and custard, jelly with some sort of milky thing, rice pudding/tapioca pudding, yoghurt and a biscuit, and - if we were lucky - ice cream. Notice most of the puddings were milk-based?

There as my DD gets fruit most of the time as she is lactose intolerant.

At nursery and childminder DD got pudding everyday as well. With the childminder it was mostly yoghurt and fruit, while with nursery it was similar to school dinners.

Ah I see @Reugny no I never had school dinners. I'm in Ireland & it wasn't a thing when I was in primary school.

Now I have a craving for rice pudding though lol.

Hardly. My DD's nursery gave them arctic roll!

I mean did the nursery have a reason for cake was it a pudding/birthday? I dont think I'd be too bothered but if it matters to you maybe try and find alternative childcare they can't be trusted .

I'd have a problem with them serving cake EVERY DAY. That's not a balanced diet and it's not healthy either. Cake every now and again - fine.

Exactly. One of my cousins was like this, wouldn't let her kids eat any "bad" foods. As soon as they went anywhere different they would stuff their faces. Now they are teens and can choose what they have they still go crazy. One is obese as eats "secretly".

Don't make food an issue.

I’m going to assume this is your first baby OP and I’m going to rest easy in the fact that soon you’ll realise you’re being completely ridiculous because it’s just cake.

Well this thread has been great, thanks everyone.

Doesn't it simply come down to OP asked the nursery to do something and they did not do it?

Bit of cake is quite good for them - with fats and egg etc in. Doubt it’s got that much sugar in. I know at my boys nursery it’s all low sugar puds and cakes. I’d be happier with this than him having extra fruit on top of his normal fruit snacks.

Also even if it was high sugar - meh. I’d rather him just enjoy nursery and have the same as his peers. My nursery does give them raisins as part of his snack which I’m not overly happy about as they are awful for teeth but he never has them at home, it’s part of a meal and it’s like once a week so it’s not a hill I’m going to die on or bother to exclude him from.

They shouldn’t have gone against your wishes and that’s the most important thing. But you need to promote positive relationships with food and friendship. I don’t agree with restricting food, any food, because it doesn’t promote a healthy relationship with food. Everything should be in moderation, I don’t let my DS eat 5 satsumas even though he’d choose to and they’re “healthy”. Children shouldn’t be separated from their peers, eating together is a really good way to build friendships (at any age).

Do you have access to the menu?

Are you saying cake was on the menu and you asked them to substitute it and they didn't? (which is a bit shit)

My youngest is on a strict no sugar diet due to a medical condition so I would be livid and would be considering removing my child but we have extenuating circumstances and it would have been covered under dietary requirements.

Can you maybe update your child's dietary requirements with the nursery and put this all in writing? Let them have a(nother) chance to work with you on this?

Can’t believe these responses. It’s a 12 month old baby. Babies do not need cake no matter if it’s a low sugar version.

I’ve said for all 3 of my kids that they are to have fruit for pudding and not cake. Nursery have accommodated. None have gotten upset (there are enough gluten and dairy free kids at nursery for lots to be eating fruit for dessert), and none have got eating issues. Of course they are allowed cake and others desserts now they are older, I just didn’t see the need whilst they were tiny and had no idea what it was.

Yes, but as many many people have pointed out - it’s a nursery. Not every single (non medical / non religious) requirement can be fulfilled. If a parent wants that level of control / oversight, choose different childcare.

The only cake we have in our early years centre has been made in the centre by the cook and a small group of children, it has No sugar in it, uses soya milk and tastes so bland. I’m not sure how the children can eat it. Though the piece of cake is usually 2cm by 2cm to ensure all children can get a piece.

However cake is a rare thing in any of the nurseries I’ve worked in.

so, no it wouldn’t bother me, however we have parents that will complain about things eg too much fruit, don’t give 5pm snack which consists of an apple, so they then complain that their child is crying when the come to pick them up because everyone else is eating an apple.

The child is 12 months and has probably only just fully weaned? He has a whole lifetime to eat cake and all the other junk our kids are exposed to?

I worked hard to give my older children (who don't have medical conditions) a base palate of healthy foods so they at least had the exposure. Worked with one child who loves fruit, veg and salad. Wasn't so successful with the other child. As I say 3rd DC can't have and never has had cake.

My older kids eat plenty of junk now but at 12 months old no I wouldn't have wanted them to have cake everyday (even sugar free cake - the association being built is that cake is an everyday food, not that sugar free cake is an everyday food)

@Hmmwhatyousay no, your expectations are not too high. Children of that age should not be eating cake every day. However, you do need to realise that you are going to need to manage situations like this from now on. Where the world sometimes seems to actively work against all your good work as a parent.

We love our children, we want what's best for them, but things happen, other people come along, and throw a spanner in the works. My advice is to keep on doing what you're doing, when things go wrong do not beat yourself up about it, when people criticise you for doing the right thing, ignore them. Trust your gut. You sound like an amazing mother.

The only practical advice I can think of here is to try another nursery, if that is possible?

The OP is not being ridiculous at all. Try saying it's 'just' cake to anyone with diabetes. Nobody needs to eat cake. I am sure most of us like cake but we don't need it and to give it to a 12 month old is 'completely ridiculous'.

What’s completely ridiculous is how much faff and thought OP is giving this. I love how some on MN are immediately like ‘ what about this’ when all we are talking about here is a 1 year old with seemingly no health problems or allergies. It is just cake in this situation and you also need to chill out!

The OP will soo learn to not sweat the small stuff so much.

The child doesn't have diabetes!

she clarified it was shop-bought run of the mill ice cream being served to babies. When she saw the absolute horror on my face

😂😂😂😂