To know you drink too much but dont care!

[Shhh89]

So, I am respectable professional with 2 young children and find reaching for the wine helps me deal with the stresses of parenting/work/life. I am never drunk but know I drink more than I should, I dunno if I care about it because I am happy and it doesn't affect any aspect of my life?

I don't want to hear from anybody who doesn't drink really or has give up, that isn't the point of this thread.

Usually alcoholics.

OP why do you need reassurance from others that you’re not the only one drinking as you do?

Yes, you probably have a glass of sherry at Christmas, good for you :)

Because I wanted to help the women who post on here for help and they get so much abuse from people that don't drink. If anything it is here to help them :)

It won't make any difference.

Why is it okay if you're a 'professional' - this is mentioned by you and a couple of other posters.

If you're a shop worker or care assistant, is it worse to drink every night?

Or is it that 'professionals' have so much more stress in their lives, they need the alcohol to battle on through?

I'd be interested to know how much the OP drinks each night - as a medium sized glass of wine with dinner is quite different to a whole bottle every night...

Why start the thread?
If you didn't care why are you looking for people who do the same?
Because it makes you feel better.
So yiu think it is ok there are others doing it too.

Slowly the health impacts will creep up and it will affect your family.

I dont drink every night, I have 2 nights off, sometimes I have 2 glasses, sometimes I have a bottle

I genuinely don't understand why you need to hear that, though.

Surely if you're happy with what you drink, it doesn't matter what anyone else does or doesn't do 🤷‍♀️

Wouldn't joining a wine club or group for wine drinkers be a better way to do that?

This is a strange thread, your title doesn't make sense, how do you know how much I drink?

OP, we shared a bottle of wine most nights when the kids were young and our social life was sitting in front of the TV.

I now usually have a third of a bottle about 5 nights a week. Almost everyone I know drinks some wine most evenings.

I eat very healthily (v little UPF) , exercise, good BMI, and not sticking to 14 units is my bad habit.

I don’t have adverse reaction if I don’t drunk, don’t crave it or anything. My alcohol intake is not increasing, I don’t binge drink or get legless at parties.

I enjoy red wine, it seems normal to me to have 2 small glasses or 250ml over the course of an evening and I don’t worry about it.

If you love it so much and “don’t care” why have 2 nights off? Why not love it every night?

Laugh at others who drink less.
Makes you feel adequate does it?

You don’t have to feel guilty about. But it doesn’t change the risks associated with drinking over the recommended limits of alcohol. Cancer, liver disease, dementia, stroke etc.

It’s absolutely fine to do what you do, it is after all your life. But if wine is your coping mechanism where do you go from here when things get tough? I was in your situation once and very quickly went from a couple of glasses at night to a bottle every night of the week. It is an easy slop to slide down and not a pleasant one to get back up! Enjoy wine but make sure someone is supporting you to notice when you are drinking more than your normal amount. As previous posters have said 1 bottle over a weekend is where I am now and I drink sparkling water in the week now instead of wine.

Wowzers - having 2 glasses to a bottle 5 nights a week is too much.

Yep, here we go

I was you up until a couple of months ago. Loved a glass or 2 of wine every day after getting the kids to sleep and felt no guilt or worry about it whatsoever. Also thought I definitely didn't have a dependence at all... until I did dry january.

It was HARD. The cravings surprised me, and it also surprised me how rubbish it made me feel having a drink after the break.

I do still drink now but I have cut down loads and I don't lie to myself anymore about my reasons for drinking.

I’m going to guess you are in your 30s. I probably drank the same as you with very little impact. I found that over time I did start to feel an impact- poor sleep quality, weight gain, heart palpitations. I wasn’t an alcoholic and wasn’t getting drunk each night but was definitely over my
recommended units. I gave up a couple of years ago when I was dealing with a parent in v poor health. The stress was causing me to reach for the bottle more than normal and I could see it could be a slippery slope.

People who drink too much and don’t care get validation from the outside world. It is probably only on places like here where they are honest about their habits that people give them a hard time. Maybe the some of the responses are extreme but a wake up call isn’t a bad thing.

I know I drink over the recommended units. I take four nights off a week but can easily enjoy two and a half bottles at a weekend. My children are now young adults, I've got a good career I've just carved out for myself in the last five years and I'm enjoying my social life and everything that comes with that. I love sitting in a pub with my husband chatting after a long walk round the city

My partner and I enjoy a bottle of wine split between us regularly. We very very rarely drink past the point of being tipsy, but we do eat very healthily, exercise lots, don’t smoke etc, work outside in fresh air- so most aspects of our life are very healthy. Life is short. As long as you keep it in check- enjoy your wine! There’s far worse things out there. (The majority of MN are very anti drinking though).

OP I have always drunk heavily. I am off tonight and the week’s units will go in a blink. The problem with tolerance is it goes up and up and as it does you can’t function away the harm the units do. Most nights now I drink nothing. Ultimately I can’t look at my lovely children and know I am risking all the extra cancer and ill health complications. There can be no immediate consequences but still be huge issues later. I still love booze but I am grateful for the ex alcoholic who spotted my consumption when I was young and who took to me to one side and told me I had a problem. That has pulled me back at times and the health stuff did so further. Now most weeks I don’t reach 14 units. The thing that stopped me becoming the alcoholic she foresaw is I think that I never drank because I was stressed or unhappy. I think needing it to calm or relax becomes cyclical more quickly. I might not be what you want to hear but might be what you need to hear.

Lots of people drink as you do, OP. I am going to be That Person, though, and point out that alcohol consumption - even at relatively moderate levels above recommended amounts - has a significant association with many forms of cancer, including breast cancer and oral cancers. Something to factor in, if you weren't aware.

Isn't the thing with alcohol that it reduces your tolerance over tome, so eventually you need more for that relaxed feeling?

This happened to a relative who drank wine every night to relax. When she had an actual night out or friends round, she then needed to drink greater quantities to feel she was indulging more than a normal night.

One morning she was involved in a car accident on the way to work, breathalysed and found to be over the limit from the night before. She was prosecuted in court, now has a criminal record and lost her job and career.

Please be careful OP, with addictive substances you rarely have the control you think you do....that's not the way it works.

Ahhh - you say 'here we go' but I am stating the obvious. I share a bottle of wine with my DH at least twice a week - and am not 'anti drinking' as you seem to think.

The obvious part is that drinking in excess of 14 units a week is unhealthy. Maybe read the post from the GI doctor upthread.

Hmm. This thread reads like you’re feeling a bit defensive about the drinking and need to hear other peoples reassurances that actually it is normal etc, rather than you trying to “help” others feel ok about it.
look, it doesn’t matter what some random anonymous peoples opinions of your drinking are, it matters what you think when you examine your habits in depth. Are you happy with your drinking? Then crack on- no one needs saving or helping.
personally I drink but have issues with dependency, I know it’s not good for me, hate the hangovers etc. sometimes I abstain (or try to) and sometimes I think fuck it life’s too short.
think it can be a battle for many people, we’re all different