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Original poster

Social media makes valentines awful

112 replies

OrangeeeSmarties · 15/02/2024 03:41

DP and I never celebrate it massively. We get each other a card, small present or do something tiny. My DP has never been one for huge gestures or flowers, instead he shows me every day in so many little ways that he loves me and notices me.

Yesterday we simply went for fish and chips on the seaside. It was so lovely and simple and it was perfectly fine with me.

Then I go on instagram. Everyone I know posting a couple picture. Red roses everywhere, girls I know taking videos of their kitchen covered in candles and photo frames and a dinner plate with a red rose on it.

I now somehow feel like shit?

I know SM isn’t real but I can’t help but feel like, was I supposed to get that? Is that what DP was supposed to do? Were we supposed to post each other on our stories (we didn’t)??

I hate it!!!

OP posts:
EsmeSusanOgg · 15/02/2024 03:43

Why are you feeling bad? Did you enjoy what you did?

HerRoyalNotness · 15/02/2024 03:45

Fish n chips sounds great to me! I like the simple things and never post about anniversaries or couple things

its the every day small gestures that mean the most btw! A consistent approach to showing love through the year, in small ways, much better than a once or twice showy display

Original poster
OrangeeeSmarties · 15/02/2024 03:47

Yeah I loved it! I think it’s just the way social media is, makes me feel so pressured to post things or do things a certain way. Like I spent time wondering why DP didn’t do all the roses, dinner etc.
But he makes me feel so loved every day of the year.

I think I’m ready to delete it to be honest!

OP posts:
Bobsledgirl · 15/02/2024 03:49

Why people feel the need to post all that stuff on social media is beyond me. Just focus on what you did. Sounds lovely.

Cuckoochanel80 · 15/02/2024 03:49

Delete social media! Best advice I could give! Causing so many issues in our lives..

theGooHasGone · 15/02/2024 03:57

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Oblomov24 · 15/02/2024 03:58

I don't understand your viewpoint, of sm. I don't let sm do that to me. We just do a card, and that's fine. Do you have low self esteem? Why on earth would you let what anyone else posts on sm have that affect on you?

BeachBeerBbq · 15/02/2024 03:59

Well it thrives on people like you and them, OP. Impressionable and must impress people. Only 2 of mine posted stories with big bouquets but they have they type of relationship with lots of gushing over each other in real life.
Otherwise, most valentine thing on my feed was Simon the cat Valentine video. I do follow only like 20 people from my family memebers and friends though.

Depending on use and the person, SM can be fine or they can be terrible for them. If it makes you feel shit that people show things you don't even want until they show it, you are in the latter group and it might be better to either delete or redo what and who you follow.

Futb0l · 15/02/2024 04:04

Ha DH and I have been happily married 9 years. We did nothing. I sent him a funny cat meme.... couldn't care less what anyone else did.

Happyinarcon · 15/02/2024 04:04

I’m not interested in Valentine’s Day or getting flowers, but it was nice to see blokes wandering around with flowers for their partners. I’m pretty clear on what I do or don’t like so I don’t tend to get upset when other people do things differently

Fr7fr6 · 15/02/2024 04:05

Oblomov24 · 15/02/2024 03:58

I don't understand your viewpoint, of sm. I don't let sm do that to me. We just do a card, and that's fine. Do you have low self esteem? Why on earth would you let what anyone else posts on sm have that affect on you?

Come off it! It's well known that social media impacts how people feel and has a detrimental affect on its user's mental health. This is well documented, so why are you acting like the OP is some anomaly?

OP - I think it's worth remembering that often the people who show off about their relationships the most on social media are the ones in trouble. In my experience, those in stable relationships don't tend to do this, while those who do often then complain about a rocky relationship when you see them in person. If you enjoyed your fish and chips and spending time together, that's all that matters.

Boomboomshakeshaketheroom · 15/02/2024 04:07

You definitely need to delete Insta if that's how it's making you feel.

When I saw Valentines posts in my feed, I was happy for them... because they're my friends and family and I like to see them happy.

Needablueskyholiday · 15/02/2024 04:08

I get annoyed if my DH spends silly amounts on flowers. As grateful as I am, they’ll be dead within a week. I appreciate the everyday gestures, that means more than trying to impress me on one silly retail commercially led day.

winterwarmer8274 · 15/02/2024 04:23

I deleted Instagram for the day because I’m single and I knew looking at it would make me feel absolutely awful.

I actually have no real desire to redownload it because every time I go on it I feel worse about myself afterwards.

I’m not the happiest in myself right now and social media makes that 10000% worse.

WandaWonder · 15/02/2024 04:24

So you have a social media issue not a valentines day nor a partner issue, I would work on that SM is not real!

Coolhand2 · 15/02/2024 04:29

If sm affects you that much, I would delete it for sometime too. When it comes to valentines day, I think what matters is what you like, you might not like flowers but I love flowers and specifically told husband, that's all I want. And that's ok. Whether other people do dinners and others, that's what the like and I am happy for them.

Oblomov24 · 15/02/2024 04:44

"SM is not real!"

What % of SM is real? And what % is not real? I wonder? If I go to a concert and post a video, say The Killers, then that is real.

Much SM is bullshit. We all know that. Do you have enough intellect to be able to tell the difference?

(I never even posted or told anyone that Dh and I bought eachother a card yesterday).

Northernsouloldies · 15/02/2024 04:44

You had a nice day just the two of you and kept it private no need to put everything on SM. It's fake shit oh look what I got.... 🤮

Scalottia · 15/02/2024 05:18

Oblomov24 · 15/02/2024 03:58

I don't understand your viewpoint, of sm. I don't let sm do that to me. We just do a card, and that's fine. Do you have low self esteem? Why on earth would you let what anyone else posts on sm have that affect on you?

Agreed. People need to either ignore this SM shite, or get rid of it. I don't understand being upset about things posted on SM. Why are people so affected by it? Low self esteem? Who cares what other people got for Valentine's Day? It really doesn't matter.

Mumdiva99 · 15/02/2024 05:30

Dh and I did nothing. I am OK with sewing others posts because I know we did nothing because we both think it commercial rubbish.
At the weekend he cooked a meal.for my parents and cleaned up. That's true ❤️.

Don't judge yourself by others. Live as you want to. (Fwiw fish and chips sounds lovely if that's what you like.)

ShillyShallySherbet · 15/02/2024 05:31

I left social media a long time ago but I can predict the people on my (old) feed who will have posted this kind of shit today and all of them are on the verge of divorce or in very unhappy relationships.

Ask yourself, if they’re having such a lovely romantic evening with their partner, why are they looking at their phone, filtering pictures and posting them on their social media then checking how many likes they’ve got all evening?

Cuckoochanel80 · 15/02/2024 05:38

winterwarmer8274 · 15/02/2024 04:23

I deleted Instagram for the day because I’m single and I knew looking at it would make me feel absolutely awful.

I actually have no real desire to redownload it because every time I go on it I feel worse about myself afterwards.

I’m not the happiest in myself right now and social media makes that 10000% worse.

Edited

Do yourself a favour and delete it permanently..
Instagram/social media controls how you are feeling about yourself so take the control back and delete it.....magicinstantly happier and more peaceful life...Rebel against it...it's very freeing.
It's making our kids miserable, not to mention ourselves and churning out narcissists. People have no individual style anymore...Honestly I'm 37 and feel like Mary Whitehouse about SM. Hopefully one day people will look back and cringe at how embarrassing and toxic it all was.

Dweetfidilove · 15/02/2024 05:46

Oblomov24 · 15/02/2024 03:58

I don't understand your viewpoint, of sm. I don't let sm do that to me. We just do a card, and that's fine. Do you have low self esteem? Why on earth would you let what anyone else posts on sm have that affect on you?

Agreed. I’m single and couldn’t find the energy to begrudge someone else’s celebration - real, unreal, modest or OTT.
It’s there for the viewing, but changes nothing about me and my life.

ShillyShallySherbet · 15/02/2024 05:47

In my experience gushing social media posts are usually created by people who want to feel better about their lives because they are actually unhappy and the irony is, people who are generally happy in their lives don’t feel the need to go on about it on social media, but then see these gushing posts and start to question how good their lives are. So basically, if you’re happy in your life then social media serves you absolutely no purpose.

Oblomov24 · 15/02/2024 05:48

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