Has anyone ever given you some life changing advice?

[scottyhannah]

My first ever boss told me to find my voice and do things with purpose.
It was a dig at the time as I was a shy little 17 year old but for some reason it stayed with me for the next 30 years and I still hear his voice butt into my head when I need motivation.
He would have no idea that his frustrated jibe would have helped make me who I am.

"Why are you worried about what they think of you? Do they pay your mortgage".
Said by a friend when I was stressing out yet again about someone's opinion of me and it stopped me in my tracks. It was a real lightbulb moment why the fuck did I care. Their opinion of me had no bearing on my life.

"Actions speak louder than words". is another one.
He can profess all the love in the world, but if day to day he doesn't pull his weight, doesn't help when you are ill, doesn't care you are drowning under the mental load, then those words are worth nothing.

Not a real life person, but two things I have taken from films. In the x files film Scully says to someone to do something, ‘don't ask why or how, just pick up the phone and make it happen’. I use this a lot in work when overwhelmed. I just have to make it happen

two, from silence of the lambs: always check the corner 😁

maybe I just relate to fictional female fbi agents 🤷‍♀️

That's Chesterton's Fence! You can Google it...

I use this all the time

Every time I'm heading into teaching (I'm an academic), I tell myself "Just think, it'll be over in an hour" 😂

"Those who don't make mistakes are those who do nothing" this was from an accountant who use to get really irate with me at times as my first job as hotel receptionist I was useless in getting the floats to balance end of shift, I definitely tried his patience and then some.

Other then that back in my late teens I distinctly remember when we'd go and hang around a certain's band guitarists address, (yes it would probably be harassment today the cringe of it!) he gave us careers advice about knuckling down, work hard and do what you love yada yada, always wanted to say thanks!

Don't take criticism from anyone you wouldn't take advice from.

"Why are you worried about what they think of you? Do they pay your mortgage".
Said by a friend when I was stressing out yet again about someone's opinion of me and it stopped me in my tracks. It was a real lightbulb moment why the fuck did I care. Their opinion of me had no bearing on my life.

It depends who it is though doesnt it? Your reputation is valuable and if someone has a low opinion of you, particularly in a work context, then that actually can have a big bearing on your life - whether you get recommended for other things, whether you get promoted, whether you get the bonus.

it can affect you socially as well if people don't like you you can be excluded from events that might otherwise be to your benefit,or the benefit of people who matter to you (using benefit in a wide sense to include just having a fun time)

and you never know when a person's opinion of you can pop up to bite you in the ass.

This is a few years ago now because I expect it would be exploding in a shower of data protection issues today but . . . a friend who was not exactly bullied but treated really nastily at school by a bit of a bitch (lets call her Cosima). friend's dad was very high powered and in charge of his own business. Cosima applied for a v good job at the dad's business and he saw that she'd been to the same school and asked friend if he knew her. Friend gave full chapter and verse on what a nasty piece of work she was so father decided not to even interview Cosima. I get there are a lot of 'wouldn't happen today' aspects to that story but the principle which is actually people's opinion and what they think of you may matter in ways you don't yet see.

There are some lovely ones on here. I think I’m going to get some A4 paper and write the ones that speak to me the most, and hang them up to remind me.

Something I’ve found in life - sometimes you have to make an important decision in your future (say changing jobs), but you don’t feel yet able to make a decision. Keep ALL your options open up until the last moment the decision has to be made. Sometimes time and events will have made the decision much easier, but you won’t have narrowed your options by inaction.

Also, try to be someone that under promises but over delivers. Try not to be that person that over promises and always under delivers (let’s you down).

Try not to be that person that over promises and always under delivers

@Iamnotawinp in other words, try never to be a candidate on The Apprentice

“Take each day at a time” a friend I met at a teach abroad scheme in Asia over a decade ago said those words to me.

I’m sure it was not the first or last time I heard that but for some reason at that point in my life it really stuck when that girl in particular said it .I find myself returning to those words often when I’m at a point of high anxiety and wondering how I’m going to cope with an upcoming event, challenge or just life in general.

There is always an exit door.

In other words, you aren't truly stuck in any situation.

You can't control what people do or bad things that happen, but you can control your reaction to it.

Your reputation is based on what people say about you when you are not in the room- give them nothing negative to talk about.

In a word context, if you don't get it in writing, it didn't happen. You can't prove a conversation. Document everything.

Handle everything once - is such a life changer for tidiness and less clutter. Eg Parcel arrives, unpack, put the plastic in the plastic recycling, the box in the cardboard recycling, enter and file the invoice and it's all done, with minimal extra effort/time! Old me would have unpacked, left the box on the side, with invoice in it, gone on to next thing and before you know it things have piled up.

I learnt this on a 'time keeping' course put on by my employers. It was the ONLY useful thing on a 2 day course - think the course suppliers were stringing it out for the £££

Loving this thread.
The 2 that I can add.
Every Saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
Never judge a book by it's cover. Appearances can be deceptive .

Life is not a dress rehearsal. So true.

Saw painted on a wall on a Greek island (can’t remember which one) forty years ago: ‘Live your dream, don’t dream your life’. I am a bit of a dreamer but it made me think how easy it is for the days to pass by, but if I don’t act, the dreams I have won’t just pop along.

Never leave certainty for uncertainty.

Spoken by my uncle, usually when facing food decisions 😁

I thought this too... and advice along these lines is only ever given to women! Men aren't told to be content, or settle. A woman finding her anger and her voice and wanting, no, demanding better can be a powerful agent of change.

My dad used to say it’s sometimes better to lose the battle but win the war. I saw the wisdom in it when a colleague got the reputation as a troublemaker by blowing every dispute out of proportion.

Similar but mine was don’t start a sentence with sorry, men don’t do that. Don’t apologise for existing. I tell my female team members this.

"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

I would add to this " you can miss someone without needing to take them back". I wasted years being devastated that my first husband had left. He did to my replacement, and his third child, exactly what he did to me and his first 2 children . He has a new girlfriend now. No doubt he will do the same to her. Why on earth did I waste a moment on him .

If you are earning a wage and only having to look after yourself with no dependents etc then you need to make sure you aren't spending all of it. Otherwise how will you cope when circumstances change.
Always stuck with me that actually I didn't have £2k a month or whatever.

Not really a saying but "break a big task down into smaller, manageable pieces".

e.g. a few years ago I was going to the US for work on my own. I had to fly to Nth Carolina, pick up a car, find the hotel and office, a couple of days later fly to Dallas, get a car, drive to hotel at night, find office, then fly to SF, get car, drive to hotel, get to office.
I was a bit overwhelmed, so just focused on the next "job" in front of me - e.g. "just get to the airport" and when that job was done focused on the next small step.

Learning a new skill requires a small amount of basic aptitude and 10,000 hours of practice.

If you can't do something then tell yourself 'I can't do it yet but I will'.