Has anyone ever given you some life changing advice?

[scottyhannah]

My first ever boss told me to find my voice and do things with purpose.
It was a dig at the time as I was a shy little 17 year old but for some reason it stayed with me for the next 30 years and I still hear his voice butt into my head when I need motivation.
He would have no idea that his frustrated jibe would have helped make me who I am.

Nobody has written a book about you and your baby.

Oh gosh- loads:

"carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man"
"what you resist persists"
"where attention goes, energy flows"
"comparison is the thief of joy"
"will this really matter in 5 years time?"
"you cant change the people around you, but you can change the people around you"

Managers hate surprises.

I was told that by canny Colin from Harlow early in my so-called career and he was SO right. The sooner you admit to a fuck up* and the more they hear it from you and not someone else, the better it goes.

*Caveat: take 5 minutes if you can to be absolutely sure what has actually happened.

I don't understand this?

Some advice from my nan.
She said if you raise your children you can spoil your grankids spoil your children your gonna be raising you grankids.

Oh that's a good one.
My Dad told me that, and it's really helpful sometimes when I overthink stuff

"No one promised you life would be easy." It's good to remember.

" Your ears will never get you into trouble"

I've learnt over the years that a bit of silence / reflection can be incredibly powerful. Taking time to think before I speak or act (usually!) means a better outcome, both in work and personally

It was told to me by a very wise teacher who was sick to death of the time spent on the preparation and testing that children endure, when the time could be better spent actually learning stuff.

I love it because it stops me procrastinating rather than cracking on with what I should be doing…

Only take advice from someone who has been where you want to go.

This is so true- when I started my business I had lots of unsolicited advice from people who had never done it themselves. I ignored it all and only listened to people who had actually started successful businesses. It worked.

“The comfort zone is where dreams go to die”

This has at various times given me motivation to push myself to do the things that I’ve been putting off out of fear.

When we have the courage to do the things we are afraid of, we can end up having more positive and enriching life experiences.

Courage is just fear holding on a minute longer

I was really struggling with nerves despite having ridden horses for years
Decided after hearing that, every time I got scared I would stay on for just 60 more seconds. Went from being unable to get on to riding alone for 3hrs at a time

You become the average of the people you spend your time with.

"Done is better than perfect"

Wow your so right - must quarte this on another thread about a women giving out that her MIL cant mind her children for her as the MIL has to go to a funeral

One that sticks with me from an old boss - People who don't work don't make mistakes - i love that one, we are only human , we make mistakes once in a while

Another one i live by is no one is going to help you only you, its up to you to make your life better

oh gosh this is great. I've tried to start loads of small businesses over the years, and sooo many friends and family had advice for me, which I'd never asked for, despite having never done what I was doing. I'm sure me taking on their words held me back.

equally, when on mumsnet, asking for a specific bit of advice about one thing you've asked about to someone with that experience, and loads of people chiming in with comments about some of your backstory, despite them having no experience with that and not answering what you've actually asked for. I always end up arguing back with them, but I need to learn to block them out!

Never take down a fence if you don’t know why it was put up in the first place.

Rocky Balboa taught me that every champion was once a contender who refused to give up.

Being considered crazy by those who are still victims of cultural conditioning is a compliment. But you are not crazy, you are awake in an insane society, for that exact reason most people will call you crazy.

Embrace who you are, it's not a sign of good health to be well adjusted to a sick society.

Brilliant thread! I think learning about the ‘spotlight effect’ is quite useful - we all imagine that we are very visible to others with a big spotlight pointing us out, but actually other people are all dazzled by their own spotlights.

In short, people pay you far less attention than you think they do.

Dr Zeuss...."....those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind "
I use it all the time, in lots of situations.
When my Son came out as gay, he was concerned about what some people would think and I quoted it to him....gave him the confidence to be open about it. Same with my daughter and her ADHD.

‘Say yikes and move on’ - a silly little quip but it forces me to see the light of the situation, which I often struggle to do, and to let things go.

Not ‘told’ exactly but one that always sticks with me from Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons (of all places), ‘Religion is flawed but only because man is flawed’.
Of course I don’t apply this to religion but taking it out of context, it’s a brilliant reminder that even big things in life can be flawed, because at the end of the day we are all human and capable of making mistakes- and that’s okay.

oh gosh this is great. I've tried to start loads of small businesses over the years, and sooo many friends and family had advice for me, which I'd never asked for, despite having never done what I was doing. I'm sure me taking on their words held me back

Exactly! If you want to have a spectacular business then you need to go and seek out those who actually have properly spectacular businesses and learn from them, shadow them for a day etc because they are the people who truly have valuable advice. When I started, I found most people I went to seek advice from were more than happy to spend some time with me giving me advice and tips- they appreciated that they were once in my shoes and were happy to help me out. If you don't ask you don't get!

Completely and utterly ignore everyone else as they really haven't got a clue if they haven't done it themselves and a lot of what they say to you will be based on their own fears and personal limitations. After all, if they really did know how to do it, wouldnt they have done it by now?!

My uncle told me when I was 19 to "start a pension now and never stop contributing to it."

I'm retiring now in my early 50s because of that advice. Little and often makes a massive difference over several decades.

Expect nothing - appreciate everything