Nobody pushes my buttons like my mum who is in her 70s. I see her once every 1-2 weeks and literally within minutes of seeing her she’s said something that’s triggered me.
For the most part I’m a caring, fun person but with my mum I’m short, defensive and irritable. I start feeling anxious whenever I’m going to see her as know I’m going to be a version of myself I don’t particularly like.
I am 45, have 2 young children and a husband, a good job, house, doing generally fine at life etc etc.
As I started to list some examples of what’s irritating they all sound petty, but generally the themes are constant talk of money and side comments on spending, negativeness and catastrophising, putting a downer on any topic mentioned, constant reminders about things like I’m a child (e.g. clocks changing, family birthdays even though I know), “helpful” suggestions on things that I’ve not asked for help on, unsolicited advice, comments about things that need doing in the house. Or offering to do something in the house (which I appreciate is nice but I’m a grown up and don’t want that).
She was a good mum when I was younger but quite controlling.
Ive read bits on what to do on this which the suggestion is generally “don’t try to change her” there is no point as I can’t fix that, just work on how I react/feel in the situations as that is something I can manage.
I'm a bit envious of people with great relationships with there older parents and would like that with my mum. So really just looking to hear from anyone who can empathise and/or has overcome something similar.